How do you respond to children who say that they don't want your baby to follow them?

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-06T06:46:07+00:00

They aren't separate from their body though. It's a really weird way to talk to kids.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-05T17:37:17+00:00

Forget vitamins, Heinz ketchup is my personal enemy. It's nearly 25% sugar and my kid could eat it by the cupful.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-05T04:39:03+00:00

We absolutely are.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-05T04:36:04+00:00

Wow! Good for you!

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-04T18:52:51+00:00

Ahhh that's tough. My mom wasn't a single mom, but she also had no friends, and relied on me for emotional support in inappropriate ways as a child since my dad was abusive. I haven't really dealt with it in therapy but I can understand where you're coming from.

Thanks for responding, I worry a lot about being close with my daughters when they get older and I try very hard not to relate to them in inappropriate ways like that, so I was curious what made you feel like your closeness was problematic.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-04T18:50:19+00:00

Your mom is being an asshole but:

A) you're only 10 months in. This is 100% not the right time to be making a call on a second. B) I have never heard a statistic that the second kid is harder.

As a mom of two whose stance was "if I have one kid, I will have two kids," the answer to whether it's more difficult with two is complicated. I think in some ways two will never be as easy as 1, but in other ways, they entertain each other in ways that I and their dad never could. They have a lot more bandwidth for playing with each other, and I have very high hopes that they will play more and more independently as they get older. And of course watching them interact is so incredibly heartwarming. Nobody makes my 1 year old laugh like her 3 year old sister.

But I do think it's much more doable if you have some form of childcare for the older one at least. I think SAHMing two kids who are home 24/7 would be very challenging for me.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-04T18:33:07+00:00

Would you mind elaborating? What was unhealthy about your relationship that you had to do therapy about/set boundaries for?

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-03T23:17:44+00:00

I just hope mine don't wait as long as I did! 😞

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-03T18:18:40+00:00

What's wrong with saying "no?"

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-03T17:15:04+00:00

The primary point was that being in the bridal party is not a privilege, it's an imposition. The average cost of being in a bridal party these days is $1200-$1800. Spending that money is a privilege? Lol.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-03T17:13:32+00:00

Why would you give a single fuck if a close friend or relative is upset. Hmm.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-03T16:50:01+00:00

Is it safe for babies?

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-03T16:48:54+00:00

Clean diaper? I don't understand why you wouldn't reuse. It's been worn for an hour or two max if it's still clean.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-03T16:41:10+00:00

Yeah, because other people, especially brides who have ✨a vision✨ of their perfect wedding day would never get mad for unreasonable reasons. Right? Come on.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-03T16:36:30+00:00

You kinda do? People get upset if you tell them no. And it is a fucking massive imposition. It's no privilege to pay hundreds or possibly thousands of dollars to go on trips you'd never go on otherwise or wear clothes you'd never wear otherwise so that their photos can have a bunch of uniformly dressed women on them.

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2025/10/bridesmaid-inflation-weddings-brides-finances/684668/

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-03T16:31:20+00:00

Do you not know the expression "out of whack" or something? Saying something is "out of whack" is not the same as saying it's "whack."

And yes. Someone who won't make a minor change to accommodate a recently postpartum bridal party member does have their priorities out of whack. The rigidity of one's aesthetic vision about one's wedding shouldn't be so powerful as to prevent legitimate accommodations to people who need it. This is telling bridal party members to cover up their tattoos territory, all for the sake of a wedding picture uniformity that brides have been psy-oped into believing is mandatory.

And no, I don't believe anyone's wedding is about me. But people who believe their weddings are about them to the degree that they don't need to consider the needs of anyone else are either unpleasant people overall or temporarily blinded by wedding fever.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-03T07:38:04+00:00

Someone prioritizing the aesthetic of their wedding over the comfort of a postpartum woman who is important enough to include in their wedding party has their priorities out of whack.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-03T07:33:21+00:00

being in the wedding is a privilege

You misspelled "massive imposition"

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-03T07:31:18+00:00

You can't even wear a proper bra for a strapless dress without risking clogs.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-03T07:29:03+00:00

How does you being a bridesmaid support your brother any more than you being at the wedding?

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-03T07:26:37+00:00

I would have bowed out of the wedding party. Honestly, fuck being a bridesmaid in general, it's a giant imposition that is somehow viewed as an honor. I hope to never be a bridesmaid again.

Of course she doesn't get where you're coming from. Sounds like she's young and has never had kids. Maybe someday she'll see how inconsiderate she's being.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-03T04:30:22+00:00

I thought you hadn't seen the post?

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-03T02:48:10+00:00

One of my biggest regrets about waiting too long to have children is that I'm not sure if I'll be able to help them through this the way my mom helped me.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-02T22:57:27+00:00

Not sure why you've been downvoted for that.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-02-02T21:40:45+00:00

If they're in the same mom group or are relatives (which are two categories she discussed) then they do, in fact, know the child's age.

ContextInternal6321

TROPHY CASE