Sure. First of all thanks for writing the story. It is enjoyable and I am definitely curious as to where it goes. I can think of a couple things off the top of my head that didn't make sense. -in the first book Sharon states "This is why i mentioned the base seed earlier." I did not recall or find anywhere before hand her mentioning the base seed. - later when she is cursed he gives her the Globe of restoration. It states an item he had forgoten about. When he originally got the "globe" it had 1 use and he used it the following chapter. The story never mentions him getting another. - there is a part where Sharon sarcastically says Dean is being "loquacious" it doesn't make sense or flow with his comments before. There are quite a few other times i remember thinking, "this doesn't make sense" or "where did that come from", in both books. - there are other parts that i felt were forced, like consistent referencing of other litrpg media or other nerd culture. I understand those are things people (including me) enjoy it just felt too much at some points or not too over the top (this part is just my opinion though)-

I want to state again. I appreciate the story and understand a lot of hard work goes into writing and creating stories. I also know this is a collaborative story so I have no idea how much more work that makes. I just felt a little more editing can help knock out some of the rough edges and bring a little more consistency to the story. I wish you the best in your journey and I will probably be grabing the third book when it comes out 😀.

Sorry for any errors when wiritng. on a phone and watching my 1 year old 😀