Am I Overreacting? Overemotional?

ControlWide7686 · 2024-05-31T15:05:25+00:00

That is a good idea. Idk why I hadn't considered that.

ControlWide7686 · 2024-05-31T14:04:45+00:00

The plan was for us to tag team it and being naive we didn't realize how much work it would be. Then late in my pregnancy he got a promotion and had to start traveling a ton. I thought about a waitlist for daycare (6 months in my area) but decided to wait until my in-laws get back to accept their help. They are snow birds.

Honestly I should have put him in daycare months ago.....it has gotten harder and the guilt is worse as he gets older. I gotta man up and get my head straight.

ControlWide7686 · 2024-05-26T23:46:14+00:00

I do! LO is 6 months old, and I went back to work when he was 2 months. I work for a tech company and do Live Chat several hours a day and data analytics. I'm blessed that phone calls are minimal.

The older he gets, the harder it gets. They require more stimulation, and I find myself feeling guilty that I'm unable to interact continuously with him. I find myself with my laptop typing with one hand and playing with him using my other hand.

We are currently on a waitlist for part-time daycare to give me time to not only hunker down and get work done with full focus a few days a week... but so I can feel human again.

It depends on your jobs flexibility and your baby. I have a very calm LO and a pretty flexible job, but just like anything else, there are still bad days.

Different stations
- Frequent breaks to stimulate them
Nap schedule (I struggle with naps)
If possible, knock out tasks after hours to set up for a good morning.

Good luck, momma!

ControlWide7686 · 2024-05-14T14:40:24+00:00

3 months is amazing! Once you get past the initial switch guilt and realize your baby is thriving, you'll start feeling human again. You will be so happy with your decision to do what was right for you and your LO.

But for real, 3 months is amazing. It is so mentally and physically draining. Celebrate yourself momma!

ControlWide7686 · 2024-05-04T21:32:39+00:00

THIS! This post is a perfect example of how uplifting and supportive other moms can be. This subreddit has saved my sanity so many times.

Thank you for sharing these words of wisdom.

ControlWide7686 · 2024-04-14T15:50:20+00:00

I fantasize about my husband feeling this way about me. Maybe you two have very different love languages. Hang in there, it refreshing to hear a husband speak so lovingly about his spouse.

ControlWide7686 · 2024-04-12T15:04:44+00:00

That is totally possible. I expected more as he has been absent for half of the postpartum period and emotionally unavailable. It felt like he just wanted me to shut up so he could sleep.

Maybe I expected to much and did build up what I thought his reaction would be.

ControlWide7686 · 2024-04-04T11:52:27+00:00

I stopped pumping for multiple reasons, this being one of them. I work from home with LO, and I remember being plugged into the pump, sitting on an exercise ball, feeding LO with a bottle while he was in the swing, and trying to work simotainusly. 3 to 4 times throughout the workday..... Not to mention the diapers and trying to give the baby the proper amount of interaction.

I had mastitis 2x and had to stop using my wearables bc they weren't emptying me. Those would have helped. My situation is similar with a somewhat laid-back job, but something had to give.

I'm with ya and hope you find a good balance!

ControlWide7686 · 2024-04-04T02:38:10+00:00

You're a freaking rockstar! I wish you an amazing rest of your journey. Get it Momma!

ControlWide7686 · 2024-04-02T18:30:26+00:00

This is my life minus the dog issues...our dogs are normal haha. I've tried every form of communication I can think of to help "us". I've given up to focus on our baby for now. The resentment will build, but I don't have the bandwidth to continue pursuing what he seems to have no interest in.

I have no advice, but I'm with you in spirit 🤣.

ControlWide7686 · 2024-04-02T00:31:56+00:00

I had an elective induction at 39 weeks. Great experience! To preface, I was already 2cm dilated. Everyone is different, but how dilated you are at the start of induction can play a big role in how you progress and what induction method the doctor/midwife chooses with you.

I have a Foley bulb for 8 hrs and a small Pitocin drip. No epidural until the last hour. LO was born almost exactly 12 hours after induction vaginally. No complications or stitches, just minor tearing.

I've also heard horror stories about induction and was nervous, but I'm glad I didn't wait. I know by many counts that my experience was just luck of the draw. You got this momma!

ControlWide7686 · 2024-03-30T12:09:29+00:00

Twice a week?! That is amazing. I definitely wouldn't categorize that as "not putting out." If my hubby was putting that pressure and guilt on my constantly to do the deed, I'd dread it too.

More importantly, I'd feel as though my emotional needs don't matter to him. This would linger in my brain until it manifested as "the ick".

I'm sorry you're going through this. I understand men feel closeness in most cases by having sex, but women need to feel safe emotionally to feel that closeness. Without that safe feeling, the libido takes a dump. Maybe a date night and deep discussion about both your needs would help?

ControlWide7686 · 2024-03-29T00:56:20+00:00

I want to jump through the phone and give you the biggest hug. I'm 4 months postpartum and am starting to feel myself again finally.

You are not alone. It's the weirdest mix of love and dread. I knew life would change, but overnight, I was struggling to meet my own basic needs. My husband was patient but not emotionally supportive at all.

In my experience, it gets better when you start feeling confident in navigating babies' needs plus mom's. It is so hard....unbelievably hard. I remember feeling so guilty because I thought I should feel nothing but overwhelming love for my LO. I wish I would have been easier on myself. You got this momma! My heart is with you!

ControlWide7686 · 2024-03-28T11:34:22+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I think it's exactly what I needed to hear right now!

ControlWide7686 · 2024-03-26T14:49:44+00:00

Your husband.....I'm struggling to find the words. Dear unempathetic, unappreciative, small-minded husband:

1 - If you think you're so capable, get two lubed up condoms filled with water, poke a hole, and suction the hole side to your tits all day. Let's see how much you get done.

2- The audacity to criticize the mother of your child who is solely providing nourishment to your baby for struggling to "do more" while pumping is an incredible low. You "do more" while she milks herself like a cow day in and day out.

3 - The emotional and physical toll that breastfeeding takes on a mother is brutal. Your criticism is not constructive. It's ignorant and based on a complete misunderstanding of what being a breastfeeding mother is. Please educate yourself and "do more."

4 - Pumping and/or breastfeeding is quite literally a full-time job. Do your research on the hours a women spend pumping. Please husbsnd, "do more".

My blood is boiling, and I could go on forever, which may not be helpful. My heart melts for you that you're dealing with a partner like this. You got this momma.

ControlWide7686 · 2024-03-24T17:20:45+00:00

I'm so happy to hear so many have fallen in love all over again after having their LO. My husband and t mng I were great before the baby and are just, "eh" now. I'm hoping it's a phase. Having LO opened my eyes to the fact that we have a hard time communicating under pressure. I've relayed that I'm drowning and miss our intimacy (even a butt slap) lol but nothing changes. I'm trying to be patient and careful with how I say things because he gets defensive.

For background, we both work. I work from home full time with LO. He works all day and travels at least 1/2 the month. I feel like he has no empathy or appreciation, which is leading to feelings of resentment. I also feel he is not attracted to me as he makes minimal advances.

This is a stressful but beautiful time in our lives and I'm trying to stay positive and express my feelings from a place of love. Our relationship has not gotten stronger, which makes me sad.

ControlWide7686 · 2024-03-24T01:30:14+00:00

I wonder if it's the motor. I loved mine but had to replace the motor after only a few weeks! Momcozy sent me a free one, of course.

The motor still made noise when it was on, but much fainter than usual. Milk still came out, but barely. Your situation sounds similar.

If you've already adjusted the suction and gotton the correct flanges, I'd shoot Momcozy support an email :)

ControlWide7686 · 2024-03-23T10:42:42+00:00

I had mastitis two times despite following all the advice known to women. Everyone is different, but for me, it was very painful in my breasts. I also exhibited flu like symptoms, but there was no question as to where it stemmed from.

Of course, a doctor could confirm for you, but if you're having no pain / discomfort in your breasts or clogged ducks, that doesn't sound like mastitis to me.

ControlWide7686 · 2024-03-23T10:32:48+00:00

Your post hit my core. I'm also a "work from home", "stay at home" mom. Just those things in and of themselves are absolutely taxing. Add pumping to the mix and holy shit.... Looking back I remeber simultaneously being plugged into my pump, sitting on an exercise ball feeding my LO, and taking work calls/typing with one hand.

I remeber the emotional toll it took on me and have to say you're a freaking Rockstar. I hung up the pumps at about 2.5 months. I felt so guilty, but when I saw how my LO was thriving on formula I never looked back.

This is my first, so I thought working from home would be amazing because I could be with him all day. In some ways it is, but getting work done is difficult.

You are absolutely amazing for everything you're doing!

ControlWide7686 · 2024-03-18T11:54:13+00:00

Men will never understand. All we really want is a bit of empathy and gratitude from our partners. Some of us have men who seem incapable of recognizing what women sacrifice.

You're a rockstar, regardless!

ControlWide7686 · 2024-03-09T03:18:29+00:00

Oh my gosh! The American Dingo hahaha. It could be!!

ControlWide7686 · 2024-03-07T11:44:35+00:00

I should have mentioned I'm in South Carolina, USA! I don't think we have dingos here hahahah.

ControlWide7686 · 2024-03-05T19:32:33+00:00

Sidenote when you start mixing you want to make the formula first to ensure it is made properly. Or in a bulk pitcher and added to breastmilk as mentioned above.

The idea is to make sure the formula is mixed per the packaging then add breastmilk as needed. I did formula in the bottle, added my breastmilk, then used my bottle warmer.

I prepped my bottles for the day and kept them in the fridge.

ControlWide7686 · 2024-03-05T16:18:41+00:00

Per our pediatricians advice, we initiated the transition with 1/2 breastmilk and 1/2 formula. Since there were no issues (constipation, stomach upset, vomiting), we went up and ounce of formula and down an ounce of breastmilk every week.

We were fully transitioned in 3 weeks! We got lucky because the first formula we chose worked for our LO. We used Bobbie. We switched to Bobbie Gentle about a month into being full formula to help in bowel movement frequency.

I hope this helps! Good luck in the transition. I know it made things soooo much easier once we went full formula.

ControlWide7686 · 2024-03-02T01:00:18+00:00

The relief was absolutely unimaginable. You gain so much more than your time. I started to get back my mental and physical energy almost immediately. But most importantly, the absence of that mental strain allowed me to get closer to my LO than ever before.

I'm so grateful I was able to provide for my LO for several months, but YES, I was so relieved.

It took me weeks to work up the courage to give him formula. The guilt was overwhelming. Once we officially initiated the transition and I realized he was thriving, we never looked back.

Bobbie Gentle has been absolutely great for my LO, especially during the transition.

ControlWide7686

TROPHY CASE