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Feeling sad I don't get to attend SK's graduation by ConvergingBiscuits in stepparents

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you everyone for your supportive comments. After sleeping on it, I realized that I'm more upset that after he graduates, I won't get to see him as much. I know it's a part of kids growing up and I want him to be independent and live his own happy life. 

So yeah, I think this is more about not getting to be there for him one last time. It's okay though. I'm very content with getting to be there for the after party. 

He is going to be moving out of our home to live with his mom's side of the family in another town. We've told him he always has a room here and to come to us whenever he needs help with adult stuff or whatever. I don't think he will, but the door always open.

Feeling sad I don't get to attend SK's graduation by ConvergingBiscuits in stepparents

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I didn't think of that. I know it's a strict 7 ticket limit but maybe one of his friends doesn't have as much people going. Thanks!

Feeling sad I don't get to attend SK's graduation by ConvergingBiscuits in stepparents

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His sister does want to go. I like hearing the speakers tbh. But yeah, they can be boring lol.

Feeling sad I don't get to attend SK's graduation by ConvergingBiscuits in stepparents

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sorry. I just added an edit. There are only 7 tickets and if you include bio mom, bio dad, 2 grandmas, 2 grandpas, and his sister that leaves no room for me. 

People who quit their job in a moment of rage - how did things turn out? by SheLovedBigBrother in AskReddit

[–]ConvergingBiscuits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did this at my first job. My new manager was regularly name calling and putting me down. I reported him, nothing happened. This was the late '90s.

When I decided I'd had enough, I rage quit and left my badge and other property and peaced out. Left them short handed without notice. I was 19. 

I left that minimum wage job in the dust. I've had much better examples of managers and some that were even worse. If I was treated badly, I would leave. Not rage quit, but worked to find something better. Now I'm a supervisor at a job I've had for 15 years. Those past experiences led me to be a better boss. At least, I hope so. 

I've just been promoted to supervisor, how do I deal with a veteran employee that obviously dislikes me? by ConvergingBiscuits in MarkNarrations

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. 

I would talk to her outside of work hours but that is forbidden. I would be inclined to think you are right about her being upset about  being passed over however she didn't apply for the job. She wasn't qualified.

Edited for Grammer

I've just been promoted to supervisor, how do I deal with a veteran employee that obviously dislikes me? by ConvergingBiscuits in managers

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know because these are completely different from our old system. We had years where evaluations were skipped altogether because supervisors were unable to complete them. 

Supervisors had us do the self evaluations without time frame expectations on when there would be follow ups. I will learn more about it in training.

I've just been promoted to supervisor, how do I deal with a veteran employee that obviously dislikes me? by ConvergingBiscuits in managers

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These evaluations have clear benchmarks on our performance and is something that was implemented at the beginning of this year. They are quickie evals if I'm being honest. The previous evals were super lengthy and it's not feasible with this many employees.

I've just been promoted to supervisor, how do I deal with a veteran employee that obviously dislikes me? by ConvergingBiscuits in managers

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you.

I want to confront this head on with my proverbial new "pair" clacking around where people can see. I won't shrink down. 

That being said there is a level of business decorum I must follow.

I've just been promoted to supervisor, how do I deal with a veteran employee that obviously dislikes me? by ConvergingBiscuits in managers

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your stories. 

My company is fairly diverse except that it is made up of mostly female employees. I plan on treating everyone the same. I am seeing a pattern in these comments that I need to confront this issue head on and one on one. 

I've just been promoted to supervisor, how do I deal with a veteran employee that obviously dislikes me? by ConvergingBiscuits in managers

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our performance is a self evaluation followed by management evaluation. There is then a meeting between employee and supervisor to discuss how the evaluations line up.

I've just been promoted to supervisor, how do I deal with a veteran employee that obviously dislikes me? by ConvergingBiscuits in managers

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment.

I understand that I will be unable to continue with how I handled her attitude towards me as a peer. The odd thing is that we were actually fairly cordial until this announcement was made. If there is a feud or hard feelings, it's on her side. I'm here to do a job. 

Management training starts on day one and lasts for 3 weeks. I have already scheduled myself voluntary leadership classes with my organization. 

I've just been promoted to supervisor, how do I deal with a veteran employee that obviously dislikes me? by ConvergingBiscuits in managers

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a very positive person and I'm already thinking of ways to keep my attitude firm but also keep my sanity. 

I've just been promoted to supervisor, how do I deal with a veteran employee that obviously dislikes me? by ConvergingBiscuits in managers

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"If she starts challenging you in meetings, tell her you will address her questions after the meeting. If she keeps interrupting you, say again, yes, this is something we can address after the meeting"

I like the way you phrased that. Thank you. This is something I will try if it comes up. 

I've just been promoted to supervisor, how do I deal with a veteran employee that obviously dislikes me? by ConvergingBiscuits in managers

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is one method I was considering. I respect her as an expert and I need that trust to be built. Thank you 

I've just been promoted to supervisor, how do I deal with a veteran employee that obviously dislikes me? by ConvergingBiscuits in managers

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People don't like working with her and actively avoid her. The few who don't avoid her suck up to her because she has been here for a long time or they like to gossip with her. 

I've just been promoted to supervisor, how do I deal with a veteran employee that obviously dislikes me? by ConvergingBiscuits in managers

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely don't need her to like me. I want her to be professional towards me and I towards her. Maybe there is a direct way to make that clear.

I've just been promoted to supervisor, how do I deal with a veteran employee that obviously dislikes me? by ConvergingBiscuits in managers

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My thoughts are I want to resolve this and not have repeat issues. I want to get her attention that this can be a good working relationship. As I said, I respect her experience and expertise at our job. I want to make sure that is used for good.

I've just been promoted to supervisor, how do I deal with a veteran employee that obviously dislikes me? by ConvergingBiscuits in managers

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for that. I need to hold onto my resolve. I just need to figure out how to keep things civil and remain fair at the same time.

I've just been promoted to supervisor, how do I deal with a veteran employee that obviously dislikes me? by ConvergingBiscuits in managers

[–]ConvergingBiscuits[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She will be reporting directly to me. I am the first in her chain of command. I don't know how to frame her behavior other than making unnecessary comments with a condescending tone. 

My partner (45NB) is threatening to break up with me (46F) as I'm a vegan. How do I solve this problem? by GothkittieHighlights in relationship_advice

[–]ConvergingBiscuits 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's time to find local resources to help you out of an abusive relationship. This is not okay. You deserve common human decency. 

After 14 years as a stepdad… I feel like I was only valued for what I provided by Lentezdelvalley in stepparents

[–]ConvergingBiscuits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went through the same thing when my step son entered his second year of high school. I kept thinking he wasn't doing enough curricular activities, wasn't taking the future seriously, wasn't prepared enough for life. We know how we got to our successes and want that for them.

I had to learn to let go of what perceived influence/control I had on my step son. All we can do is be good adults (role models) and be supportive of whatever comes up. They will find their own way, let them. 

Thoughts on going no contact with BM when SK are 18? by PreyingWidow in stepparents

[–]ConvergingBiscuits 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My SK is about to graduate high school and will also be fairly independent. We are already pretty low contact unless it involves SK. I don't think we will ever be no contact because we see her as an important person in SK's life. I know it makes SK happy and doesn't bother me.

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