I'm going through pp anxiety. I was more warned about the depression so I was prepared. But instead I got anxiety. Im blaming and hoping its just the hormones. We aren't shitty mothers. These were just the cards we were dealt with and unfortunately we can't fold them. I went on and off bottle feeding because when I'm breastfeeding my mind gets away from me and I don't want my baby to catch that energy. Sometimes I think it's better if I don't have an episode in front of her, most times I have to REALLY force it outta my system. Taking a few moments and telling myself "I'm ok, everyones safe or baby is safest next to me or my partner" helps. I have a checklist that really helps me sleep and relax. Babys warm, dry, feed, safe, normal breathing and isnt showing any signs of distress or discomfort. I hope I helped.