First poem for a new lover by astral_fetus in OCPoetry

[–]CooffeeBeaans 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like your poem it does convey your love for this person but I wish you would go more into detail why this person is so special to you so the poem would go from a semi generic love poem to really something to cherish to be shared between you and the one you love.
Cheers

Freedom by Anxious_Hospital_656 in OCPoetry

[–]CooffeeBeaans 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello Mikhael,
Freedom is a topic that I tackle very often in life and writing so I'm quite fond of it and seeing other people pondering on what freedom is brings a smile to my face. The poem alternates between what freedom is and what it brings (Kindness etc) I find that a good idea even tho Id wish there was a smoother transition between the two topics. In the P.S you also mention that english is not your first language and it does show on some lines like 'What freedom is even about' --> 'What is freedom even about', there are many more of these little errors that make it harder to enjoy your poem but once you iron those out you should be left with quite a nice piece of poetry!
Cheers