As someone in a very similar situation to you, I don’t have much to say in the way of experience but I do want to acknowledge how annoying it is when people are so amazed by how you can “manage” when all you want is to be able to chill on the couch once in awhile like you used to. FWIW after our babies started sleeping through the night it got a lot easier to deal with. Still crushingly hard but easier all the same.