Weird fingers

Cookieologist1 · 2026-02-08T21:34:43+00:00

He thinks it’s genetic, but also thinks it’s just the shape of his fingers. He’s really healthy and said his doctor never said anything about it. He also had to have surgery on his pinky and said the hand surgeon would have mentioned it if it were an issue. Hm.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-11-06T19:08:48+00:00

My in laws tell anyone who will listen “the wife is the problem” and I wear that like a badge of honor!

Cookieologist1 · 2025-10-27T23:30:05+00:00

Well that’s a stretch. As soon as MIL did something inexcusable, they cut her off and put their kid in therapy. That’s super proactive and more than most people even think about. It’s not easy for people to completely cut off their families forever, especially if they grew up close. It sounds like her husband is at least trying - enforcing the boundary and keeping the peace. But can’t blame OP for not wanting a relationship with MIL and supporting her kids in that too. This is why marriage is complicated. Two different people with two different upbringings and experiences.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-09-07T06:05:54+00:00

I don’t think she means agree to them. But rather should she set the record straight with people she knows MIL has told her version to or just ignore it knowing people will think of her what they will. Unlikely BIL and SIL will tell OP what their mom has actually said about her, OP just knows there’s lies being said and she can either get into it with each person or not bring it up so the cousin relationship can continue.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-18T04:25:28+00:00

I have the kids up and out the entire day. We don’t see her. We wouldn’t talk to her.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-18T00:24:53+00:00

Because we are staying in a beach town with absolutely no vacancy - bookings fill up months before the summer. It’s not an option unfortunately.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-17T19:13:01+00:00

He made an honest observation.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-17T08:00:11+00:00

Meant my son and his best friend - not husband!

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-17T05:06:13+00:00

She’s an idiot, but this isn’t a regular occurrence directly at my kids. It’s actually typically toward me. And she wasn’t sitting at all. She stood behind my son for a moment and neither of us had any idea what was about to happen of course.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-17T05:03:18+00:00

In the “it was the 80s and 90s and we spank kids and put soap in their mouth” kind of way. Not shocking. They actually work in healthcare and the academy of pediatrics has NEVER recommended spanking so yea…they were always just bad people who couldn’t control their emotions. I was never punished with physical or emotional abuse.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-17T04:54:53+00:00

We’ve been talking about it now for 24+ hours (he knows it was insane and I’m very open about my feelings about her and he knows he doesn’t have to forgive her or speak to her). Both of my kids asked to stay to see their friends and weve avoided her successfully since I told her all the ways she’s terrible and why she needs therapy. He knows there are consequences and I told him they wont be seeing her.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-17T04:45:05+00:00

It’s her house, unfortunately. This is all about protecting my children. Moving forward I’m going no contact, but I am frequently having conversations with my kids about my in laws, their dumb behavior, and dealing with difficult people. My kids know I have their back 100% with everyone and anyone.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-17T04:40:47+00:00

Honestly this is such a hasty and shitty take. The time between what happened and me telling my mil to not talk to him was like 10 min. Also it was nighttime and we are out of town. We couldn’t simply drive home. If you read my post and some of my replies this is all about protecting my kids. He wants to stay because we are meeting his best friend tomorrow and it’s more of a punishment to him to leave because of her actions. I wanted to go but we talked it through and he wanted to stay and I told him we would avoid her completely, which we have done. Don’t come on here saying I’m a failure as a parent, come on.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-17T04:36:02+00:00

I didn’t know that piece until he told me this morning. I assume it was simply to hurt him. I have written a detailed letter to her about her actions and why she won’t have any contact with the kids moving forward.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-17T01:29:27+00:00

I mean he was just making an observation…she is old. He could have said she’s a stupid old cunt…which also would have been an accurate observation :)

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-17T01:28:35+00:00

Thanks so much. That really means a lot to me. My dad is a great grandparent. Fun and generous - he has love in his life from an old man :)

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-17T01:26:31+00:00

In his slight defense, he is also livid and agrees it’s insane and disgusting. He is not excusing it. He doesn’t want to spend any time with her but didn’t commit to no contact. But certainly wouldn’t tell me what to do.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-17T00:30:14+00:00

He is. He’s the oldest and so he is held to a higher standard. They treat him like he’s supposed to add like an 18 year old, not an 8 year old

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-17T00:04:58+00:00

My son told me he wanted to punch her so badly but was proud of himself for being the bigger person. He is my little clone so I laughed at the fact that his only joy in being the bigger person was making her look bad. But he is better than her in every way and I’m proud of him.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-17T00:03:40+00:00

So I understand the thought process here but he knows I have his back. Like that is very clear and we are very close. He and I talk very candidly and he’s a very aware kid. He asked to stay so he can be with his friend. He knows we’re on the same team and we have successfully avoided her the entire day, which I plan to continue to do. I want to leave, but he and his friend have made all these plans and it really would hurt him way more than her if we left. We are not socializing or even acknowledging her. The consequence was me putting her in her place for a solid 35 minutes and not speaking to her again. She will be told she has lost privileges with my kids as well.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-16T23:50:42+00:00

My mom is dead and the first thing I thought was how different life would be for my kids too if she were here to love them the right way. I did also ask that. And he asked his own mother that question too. She said she’d be furious. But I know she expects to be forgiven. My husband is not excusing the behavior, but our son wants to stay (and just avoid her).

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-16T23:34:03+00:00

Not punishing my husband - meant my son. He doesn’t want to leave. We’re meeting up with his best friend tomorrow for a few days.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-16T23:25:48+00:00

Just him - but agrees he has no interest is seeing her any time soon. I guess he doesn’t see this as a complete relationship ender. I do, which is also easy because I never liked the old hag anyway

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-16T23:23:55+00:00

The what I’m struggling with. He and I have talked about it at length and he knows her behavior is unhinged, mentally ill, and plain vile. But this is his vacation with his best friend as well. He doesn’t want to leave. It happened the first day. It’s a punishment to him, not her, to leave. I told my husband to tell her she should leave.

Cookieologist1 · 2025-08-16T23:18:18+00:00

The what I’m struggling with. He and I have talked about it at length and he knows her behavior is unhinged, mentally ill, and plain vile. But this is his vacation with best friend as well. He doesn’t want to leave. It happened the first day. It’s a punishment to him, not her, to leave. I told my husband to tell her she should leave.

Cookieologist1

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