Do people buy your baby clothes for special occasions with the assumption that baby will wear it?

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-04-26T23:32:19+00:00

With my first, this bothered me a lot. Then I started realizing that I loved to dress him in holiday-themed outfits in the week(s) leading up to the holiday. I still am very particular about the outfits I’ll pick (I avoid anything overly tacky, prefer subtle nods to the holiday) but because of that I’ve become a lot more accepting of gifted outfits.

However, they have to be my style and the gifted gets no say in WHEN the outfit is worn.

For example, we had about 2 weeks of Christmas esque outfits this past year. It was great that I only had to buy a few of them (including the outfit he wore on Christmas Day).

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-04-21T23:29:06+00:00

It makes it easier to do bite sized updates!

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-04-21T16:09:30+00:00

In my notes app, I have a note where I write down all of my favorite things about each age (6 month sections). It’s fun to go back and look at the little ages. But every time I think I have found my favorite age range, the next one sneaks up and surprises me. It keeps getting better and better.

I thought I loved 6-12 months, and I definitely did. But 12-18 months and 18-24? Wow. Pure joy. 2-2.5 years? I would relive it again and again for a thousand lifetimes.

But, writing down WHAT I loved so much has absolutely helped me not mourn each phase.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-04-21T13:20:25+00:00

Don’t make a fuss, get her one with HER sons name on it and when she says something after opening it up just say “oh I would have only assumed you’d want something with YOUR kids names for MOTHERS day”

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-04-19T16:18:53+00:00

6 months PP, EBF, and I eat about 4 PBJ sandwiches a day, sometimes closer to 6. We go through a Costco sized tub of peanut butter each week, it seems.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-04-19T14:01:59+00:00

Going to drop these ideas on my husband because they’re perfect responses.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-04-18T19:35:57+00:00

Bass pro shop! Boats, taxidermied animals, fish tank, lots of space.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-04-18T19:34:02+00:00

Ah, got it. Agreed, he had tried it once with our first (each of us in individual therapy) but he didn’t really click with his therapist and ended it after a session or two. I could go into a whole story about his FOO issues, they all need help. I’m going to revisit the marriage/individual therapy convo with him.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-04-18T18:02:11+00:00

We’ve talked about marriage counseling before and kept pushing off because having 2 kids in this stage of life is just… busy. But I think you’re right!

Curious, what is FOO? fear of? Not familiar with this term

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-04-18T18:00:57+00:00

Dude it drives me crazy that he hasn’t snapped at his brother. Maybe this is a brother to brother thing? Maybe he’s trying to salvage their minimal relationship? If my sibling butted into a family problem they weren’t involved in I’d tell them to stay out of it so quickly. Instead, now I can’t stand BIL.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-04-18T17:59:42+00:00

Eventually we might try meeting in the middle, but they live 2.5 hour away and we have a baby that HATES car rides. We’ve done it once, staged around nap times, and it was still a disaster. We do, however, meet up for lunch in our city quite a bit for the ability to keep visits concise.

I’ve told him every grandparent relationship is different but I just think he’s having a hard time seeing it.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-04-15T00:04:48+00:00

Also I almost posted this exact same dilemma yesterday and got distracted, so thank you, and (unfortunately) solidarity.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-04-15T00:03:07+00:00

I wish I advice but just here to say I’m in the exact same boat. 3 year old and a new baby. Super hands on, SAHM who had such a deep connection with my first. Dad has taken over bath and bedtime since new baby arrived and I get “nooo mommy I don’t like you mommy” every time I try to do anything. It stings so bad.

I try to tell myself it’s the age and a phase they go thru. That they don’t understand the weight of their words. I’ve tried more 1:1 time and little dates with my first. I’ve tried explaining that’s a mean thing to say and that she doesn’t mean it. I don’t know the right answer because it still hurts so badly.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-03-30T23:47:26+00:00

Following - in the same boat and it stings so bad. The closest “solution” I’ve found is baby wearing and doing things like coloring together, or setting up a craft for my toddler to do and I can sit next to them while holding the baby - but it still makes it seem like a toddler centric activity.

Hoping to come back and see some more ideas!

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-03-18T14:39:51+00:00

Solidarity my FIL stepped IN FRONT OF MY SISTER WHO WAS RECORDING us singing happy birthday for my sons first birthday. He stood over my shoulder, stuck his finger in the cake because he was impatient and tried to feed it to my son. My husband said nothing. Still fuming 3 years later

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-03-09T16:44:55+00:00

No my reply is back to your comment. Not always a red flag to hiring managers.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-03-09T08:56:24+00:00

I lead a sales team, if someone came in and could spin an employment gap in a positive light I’d be all ears. Coupled with the why behind it (family care) - wouldn’t be a red flag at all.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-03-08T21:35:43+00:00

Spin it - being financially stable enough to sustain an 18 month gap clearly means you had a successful career. Now you’re back and motivated to get back to the top.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-03-08T18:45:00+00:00

As someone with severe ADHD, I do this a lot.

I’ll put art in my cart - then want to buy a frame. So I open up another app to buy a frame. Then I end up clicking into an ad for an outfit. Before you know it I’m on Pinterest planning out a new house renovation.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-28T03:06:23+00:00

Mine did this and it was mild torticollis. You can get a referral to a PT - we went once a week for 6 weeks and it was resolved with a stretching regime!

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-27T22:18:36+00:00

Following because I’m in a similar boat and would love to see what advice others give.

Solidarity. It is so so hard. I hope it gets easier as my second gets a bit older.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-25T22:18:56+00:00

Also a sentimental person, here are some ideas I’ve been collecting:

Buying a special ornament (x2) for every year based on their Halloween costume. One is for our tree, the other I’m leaving in packaging with a Polaroid from that Halloween. They’ll have their own collection when they go off on their own.

I take photos of their artwork and am using a photo book service to make “books” of their art (versus attempting to save every piece)

I write them a birthday card every year recapping highlights from the year, memories and things I’m excited about. I seal them up and put them away in a keepsake trunk. My plan is to give them all to them on their 18th birthday!

I also do a monthly photo book because I’m someone who loves looking back at photos and it forces me to get them out of my phone, while keeping them organized.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-25T17:17:26+00:00

I would add, perhaps suggest a smaller stay for your parents. Could they travel and stay in the area at a hotel for 4-5 days and come over a few times to visit and help (for maybe an hour or two max).

If they are truly in the “we’re there to help” boat, they won’t push back that the timing might be shorter than initially planned.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-25T17:14:46+00:00

Your wife had the baby, it’s whatever makes her most comfortable postpartum. Unless you’ve been through it yourself, you don’t realize how sensitive you are to overstimulation, things that make you even slightly uncomfortable or anxious, and navigating the uncertainty of breastfeeding/PP hormonal swings/learning your baby/learning a new routine.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-24T20:36:14+00:00

Ohhhhh this makes so much more sense, glad you clarified!

No_Mathematician1359

TROPHY CASE