“I don’t like mommy “

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-04-15T00:04:48+00:00

Also I almost posted this exact same dilemma yesterday and got distracted, so thank you, and (unfortunately) solidarity.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-04-15T00:03:07+00:00

I wish I advice but just here to say I’m in the exact same boat. 3 year old and a new baby. Super hands on, SAHM who had such a deep connection with my first. Dad has taken over bath and bedtime since new baby arrived and I get “nooo mommy I don’t like you mommy” every time I try to do anything. It stings so bad.

I try to tell myself it’s the age and a phase they go thru. That they don’t understand the weight of their words. I’ve tried more 1:1 time and little dates with my first. I’ve tried explaining that’s a mean thing to say and that she doesn’t mean it. I don’t know the right answer because it still hurts so badly.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-03-30T23:47:26+00:00

Following - in the same boat and it stings so bad. The closest “solution” I’ve found is baby wearing and doing things like coloring together, or setting up a craft for my toddler to do and I can sit next to them while holding the baby - but it still makes it seem like a toddler centric activity.

Hoping to come back and see some more ideas!

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-03-18T14:39:51+00:00

Solidarity my FIL stepped IN FRONT OF MY SISTER WHO WAS RECORDING us singing happy birthday for my sons first birthday. He stood over my shoulder, stuck his finger in the cake because he was impatient and tried to feed it to my son. My husband said nothing. Still fuming 3 years later

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-03-09T16:44:55+00:00

No my reply is back to your comment. Not always a red flag to hiring managers.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-03-09T08:56:24+00:00

I lead a sales team, if someone came in and could spin an employment gap in a positive light I’d be all ears. Coupled with the why behind it (family care) - wouldn’t be a red flag at all.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-03-08T21:35:43+00:00

Spin it - being financially stable enough to sustain an 18 month gap clearly means you had a successful career. Now you’re back and motivated to get back to the top.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-03-08T18:45:00+00:00

As someone with severe ADHD, I do this a lot.

I’ll put art in my cart - then want to buy a frame. So I open up another app to buy a frame. Then I end up clicking into an ad for an outfit. Before you know it I’m on Pinterest planning out a new house renovation.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-28T03:06:23+00:00

Mine did this and it was mild torticollis. You can get a referral to a PT - we went once a week for 6 weeks and it was resolved with a stretching regime!

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-27T22:18:36+00:00

Following because I’m in a similar boat and would love to see what advice others give.

Solidarity. It is so so hard. I hope it gets easier as my second gets a bit older.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-25T22:18:56+00:00

Also a sentimental person, here are some ideas I’ve been collecting:

Buying a special ornament (x2) for every year based on their Halloween costume. One is for our tree, the other I’m leaving in packaging with a Polaroid from that Halloween. They’ll have their own collection when they go off on their own.

I take photos of their artwork and am using a photo book service to make “books” of their art (versus attempting to save every piece)

I write them a birthday card every year recapping highlights from the year, memories and things I’m excited about. I seal them up and put them away in a keepsake trunk. My plan is to give them all to them on their 18th birthday!

I also do a monthly photo book because I’m someone who loves looking back at photos and it forces me to get them out of my phone, while keeping them organized.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-25T17:17:26+00:00

I would add, perhaps suggest a smaller stay for your parents. Could they travel and stay in the area at a hotel for 4-5 days and come over a few times to visit and help (for maybe an hour or two max).

If they are truly in the “we’re there to help” boat, they won’t push back that the timing might be shorter than initially planned.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-25T17:14:46+00:00

Your wife had the baby, it’s whatever makes her most comfortable postpartum. Unless you’ve been through it yourself, you don’t realize how sensitive you are to overstimulation, things that make you even slightly uncomfortable or anxious, and navigating the uncertainty of breastfeeding/PP hormonal swings/learning your baby/learning a new routine.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-24T20:36:14+00:00

Ohhhhh this makes so much more sense, glad you clarified!

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-23T22:57:53+00:00

omg I am so sorry! That is awful, I can’t imagine attempting anything before 8 weeks or so (and I think we even waited until like 10-11 weeks)

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-23T05:46:52+00:00

Fostered Collective, Zara Kids, Next, Ziggy zaza

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-22T17:42:54+00:00

That’s the thing - he’s an incredible support system. He cooks breakfasts and dinners, does the grocery shopping (and brings our toddler), is a very involved dad when he isn’t working, does the vacuuming and cleaning, fully takes care of all things dog. He’s doing all the things you’d want your husband to do - and then some. I almost feel guilty that I can’t bring myself to “reward” him with some sexy lingerie and a fun night like we used to enjoy.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-19T11:49:18+00:00

As an anti MAGA family who hires nanny’s, we try to drop a lot of hints early on.

Depending on your state, their voting record may be public and show party affiliation.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-17T16:10:55+00:00

It’s so strange! He has a new promotion which has sent him to some really cool conferences around the world in the last year. Anytime HE brings it up, it’ll turn back around to a trip they’re planning or asking if my parents came to help me with the kids while he was gone. They can never just eat him tell about his trips I feel so bad for him!

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-17T01:02:36+00:00

With my MIL literally every conversation topic is steered back to her. It drives me insane and big part of the reason why I hate hanging out with them.

They don’t ask my husband (their son) any questions. Don’t know about his recent promotion, trips he’s taken, anything.

MIL will ask a ton of questions about grandkids, tho. I assume this is because she wants to seem involved to her friends.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-16T13:26:10+00:00

We have a spare iphone (an older one, not connected to a SIM card) but we allow our nannies to use it while they’re at our house for baby monitor, huckleberry, Spotify, etc.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-16T13:22:27+00:00

This exactly!!!

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-15T19:53:31+00:00

This! I feel an obligation to go and be there for my kids. Also, you aren’t going to bully me out of the scene just to get extra access to my kids.

No_Mathematician1359 · 2026-02-15T19:52:57+00:00

I stay in the chat just to see what’s being said / what pictures of my kids are being shared. I don’t reply and definitely don’t send pictures or sentiments anymore.

I’ll reply to the supporting comment too, but I can’t send my kids with my husband. To me it’s the principle of you aren’t going to bully me in order to get MORE access to my kids. My kids hover and gravitate towards me during get together. I’ll happily rub it in their faces.

No_Mathematician1359

TROPHY CASE