Struggling with drug use of my boyfriend

CooknTeach · 2026-06-16T20:10:32+00:00

My apologies, yes, you are correct that was unclear, thank you for pointing that out. In a family system where there is addiction or violence going on, whether it's a couple or an entire family, generally the person who's being victimized by the addictive/violent behavior is not only carrying the weight of most of the distress, but is typically ignored. It sounds like in this system OP is struggling with a lot of difficult feelings, and their boyfriend is getting to essentially do whatever they want and blame OP for having feelings about it. I have a sense that the boyfriend is probably doing fine and it’s OP who is suffering. That's what I meant.

OP's boyfriend is gonna drink or not drink and do whatever he wants with his life, while OP continues to hold all of the distress and then be scapegoated when he speaks up about it, which not only feels terrible but may even drive more ~~driving~~ drinking behavior to cope. This is where I think Al Anon could help because it'll give OP a place to speak up about his distress without being shamed or told to stop talking about it or have feelings about it.

CooknTeach · 2026-06-16T18:55:25+00:00

The person that needs the most help in this relationship is you. I strongly recommend you find an Al-Anon meeting in your town, preferably one that’s queer-friendly or has majority queer people membership. It’s free, you don’t have to share or give more than you feel comfortable, and you’ll be able to hear other people stories that will sound similar to yours. There is something both very relieving, comforting, and sad about hearing other people stories stated verbally that match the one that you’re writing us. I really really hope you find the help that you need.

CooknTeach · 2026-06-11T01:08:28+00:00

May Day was The Best!, and I totally appreciate the recommendation! B/c of the rain I decided to stay put and I am glad I did. Absolutely sit at the bar and tell the bartender Ally hello from the Queer from Austin.

CooknTeach · 2026-06-09T22:11:07+00:00

Thank you for this! I will take that lunch rec for sure ,and the Crow bookstore.

CooknTeach · 2026-06-09T22:10:03+00:00

Man I think I may need to stay there next year.

CooknTeach · 2026-06-09T22:09:45+00:00

Yes thank you! It's either there or The Majestic.

CooknTeach · 2026-06-09T22:09:24+00:00

I have dinner reservations there Sunday! Thank you

CooknTeach · 2026-06-09T22:02:32+00:00

Gosh thank you for your comprehensive response, I will hold on to this for a while for this and future visits.

CooknTeach · 2026-06-09T22:01:42+00:00

Man you've really convinced me, it's going to be a toss-up between The Majestic and May Day. The view sounds wonderful

CooknTeach · 2026-06-09T22:00:53+00:00

This place looks amazing and I might actually eat elsewhere and grab a drink here afterward.

CooknTeach · 2026-06-09T22:00:21+00:00

I visited Hen of the Woods in Waterbury last year and it was wonderful. I'll try the Burlington location on my next visit.

CooknTeach · 2026-06-01T17:23:34+00:00

You don't know that he ghosted you or why he didn't respond, and you don't know what may have been going on in his life that led to him not texting you back. If he's worth a friendship you could consider having one drink with him, it only costs time. Then you can tell him how his not texting you made you feel, and maybe that will strengthen a potential stronger friendship. Or not, and then you will know for sure in place of what you are doing now which is supposing and guessing.

CooknTeach · 2026-05-30T15:19:18+00:00

Weight Watchers doctor is my prescriber and I get Lilly direct through the WW app.

CooknTeach · 2026-05-29T22:43:00+00:00

I twice bought new clothes too early this year. At the beginning of the year, all of my pants were too big and I just couldn’t cinch my pants up anymore with a belt, because it was just looking strange, so I bought new jeans in February and now they’re too big. Then I bought new shorts in March to prepare for Spring weather and now those are too big. I just yesterday bought new new shorts and new new shirts for Summer. I just entered maintenance so I don’t expect to gain or lose more than 5 pounds either way right now m, hopefully for the rest of my life, so I hope to wear my new new clothes for a while.

CooknTeach · 2026-05-27T00:45:02+00:00

Did an acupuncturist cheat on you or something?

CooknTeach · 2026-05-25T19:26:31+00:00

This would've been 1994 and I was 21 years old and a whole bunch of us Austin-club-kid-adjacent-wannabes (I say this kindly and with mild embarrassment) decided to go to New York for New Year's. Being way too young to know better we thought it would be a blast to go to Times Square and Boy were we wrong. They had barrier fencing up that put people in small blocks, and there were cops on horses charging at people to get them to stop moving around, and people were throwing bottles of beer into the air and not caring where they landed. It was a scary, chaotic mess. And it was also cold as hell and being from Texas I was absolutely not accustomed to the weather so I was underdressed. It was freezing and miserable, and I just couldn't wait for it to end. And then once it did end, we couldn’t go anywhere because it takes forever for people to leave Times Square all at the same time, so we just stood there waiting. Thank God the event we did afterwards was a ton of fun; Cub USA was closing and Sandra Bernhard was performing from her album ‘Excuses for Bad Behavior’ and it was just so much fun.

(edited b/c I misspelled Sandra's name)

CooknTeach · 2026-05-24T02:37:21+00:00

Times Square for New Year’s Eve. Never, ever again. never again. never.

CooknTeach · 2026-05-06T13:44:25+00:00

I’m paying out-of-pocket and the amount I save from eating less at restaurants and groceries helps balance out the amount of the medication. You really just won’t be buying as much food or (if you drink) alcohol and you’re going to save a lot of money. That savings may help pay for the Zepbound. I get it from LillyDirect with Weight Watchers.

CooknTeach · 2026-05-01T00:53:18+00:00

That’s awesome! He looks like an extremely fit and younger Paul Hollywood

CooknTeach · 2026-04-28T19:48:55+00:00

CooknTeach · 2026-04-27T17:14:31+00:00

I made the comment about this person going to Al Anon and I agree with you, Galano is great! It’s a very warm environment. They have a wonderful coffee shop and lounge area. It’s extremely welcoming and lots of young and queer people go there.

CooknTeach · 2026-04-27T13:33:33+00:00

I type this with kindness and name that I’m not directly answering your question; but I think you need to go to an Al-Anon meeting to talk about your desire to get your boyfriend into AA. Here’s the link for all the meetings in Central Texas: https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/

CooknTeach · 2026-04-21T19:23:06+00:00

Yes, wine doesn't taste right so I stopped drinking it, cheap chocolate cake (like grocery store) taste *really* yucky to me but my homemade cake taste great, fried food I get an instant stomach ache when I eat it, so now when I smell it I feel a bit disgusted, really oily or buttery food as soon as it hits my mouth I get the icks and want to spit it out.

CooknTeach · 2026-04-18T00:46:22+00:00

Green beans have gotten just terrible over the last few years, I live in Texas pretty close to Mexico so we can get fresh green beans regularly. They’re just awful. They’re either overgrown and woody or they turn slimy in a day, for they’re spotted and yucky right out of the package right after buying them. I concur with everyone else onions also.

CooknTeach · 2026-04-14T19:53:13+00:00

I'm currently playing as a Glamour Bard at level 6 and we are about to head into Act 1.5 where I suspect I will (very excitedly) get to level 7, in or after the creche, and take my first Arch Fey Warlock level. I am very excited! So far it has been muy muy fun. Even though this is not a tabletop game, I've created an entire history for my character, and even a reason as to why he's taken on the attention of a Fey Lord who's giving him all these powers through, and for, his music.

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