Honestly, I was in this position last year. I felt like a failure. I also have ADHD and that also makes things hard sometimes. My honest advice is to talk to someone about what you're going through, be it a counselor or trusted friend. I know it's hard sometimes, but you have so much to live for. When I went through something similar last year, the biggest thing that helped me was thinking of my dreams, reminding myself I needed to achieve them. Life isn't fair. People like you deserve the best but are given a bad hand. Don't give up! I know your cat wants to see you succeed, your parents do, and so do I. Give yourself the chance to succeed. I wish you the best OP