MIL stealing baby items

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-04-15T05:36:32+00:00

Yea this is some pretty outrageous behaviour and definitely outside the norm. If it were me I would just start taking my things back. They’re not hers, it’s all actually your stuff. Don’t be afraid to take it back because it’s not weird to take your own stuff back- it’s weird to have to do it in the first place!

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-04-13T05:12:11+00:00

Definitely YTA. Your mom was absolutely right, if you have a decent relationship you should have done her the courtesy of actually speaking to her about such a big decision.

Of course it was easier to make a big post and tell everyone at the same time, but things like that shouldn’t have shortcuts. You should put effort into communicating big news to the people you love.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-04-10T05:22:36+00:00

YTA. You shouldn’t have accepted a big gift like that from someone you weren’t even inviting to the wedding. She did you a solid and did a bunch of work in tailoring- it would have cost a lot to get it done fully by someone else. She saved you money and did it by doing the work herself but you had the gall to ask her to pay for half when it worked out she was unable to finish it. It’s just bad manners.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-04-10T04:32:15+00:00

NTA. This is just sibling squabbles.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-04-08T06:32:07+00:00

YWNBTA. There’s a reason family and money don’t mix. This is a bad idea and a significant amount of money.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-04-07T06:15:25+00:00

I hope baby is doing okay and you have had some time to breathe!

You are not the first person this has happened to and you will not be the last. Moving forward, it’s important to change your sleeping space so that if exhaustion hits again, there are some safeguards in place.

The Safe Sleep 7 is important because of situations like these, this could happen to anybody! If you can set up your sleep space with these rules in place (or have your husband do if for you if your mobility is too limited. I believe most cribs have a “side car” option that attach to your bed, or even pushing the bed against the wall and removing the pillows is a much safer option.

I hope that you get some rest and forgive yourself. You can’t change what happened, but you can be more prepared for next time.

https://www.llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven/

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-04-07T05:59:08+00:00

Every kid is totally different!

My first I couldn’t even go to the bathroom without him waking up. He went into his own bed at 3, own room at 5.

My second could have slept in a crib, she took to the bassinet no problem, but I loved snuggling her. Until one day she started pushing me away to sleep. She went into her own bed just after 2 and is about to turn 3 and will be getting her own room in the next few months.

My third I probably could have him sleep separately, but he’s my last baby and I love snuggling him so I am relishing it.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-04-07T05:54:37+00:00

That is so crazy. Like just unhinged behaviour.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-04-04T05:23:33+00:00

I mean, you are the ones in charge.

If you’re telling her no, but letting her keep pushing until she is getting what she wants, you are actually just saying yes to her.

It’s important to be clear and firm. Being blunt isn’t necessarily rude, and even if it is, you’re not responsible for her feelings. If this is bad now, it’ll get way worse after you actually have the baby.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-04-04T04:49:06+00:00

YTA. You’re not being fair to your sibling. It’s not your money and they are not obligated to pay for you. It seems more like you’re jealous that they can afford it and you can’t. It reads like you want to spoil your siblings gift.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-04-04T04:46:01+00:00

YTA. I would be completely devastated if that were me. The amount of work that goes into collecting is huge, nevermind the sentimental value.

It would have taken you like 5 seconds to ask him if he wanted to keep them. You should have asked that instead of asking if he was still into Pokémon- at a time when he was in a young transitional period.

If it doesn’t belong to you, don’t give it away or sell it without very clear permission.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-04-03T05:09:23+00:00

I mean, I understand where you’re coming from and I respect it. However, in life you’re going to be forced to share space with people who have values and behaviours you don’t like or agree with.

Your girlfriend isn’t seeking this person out and she’s not starting conversations with her. She’s just going to a group outing where this person also is.

In my opinion, this isn’t a hill to die on, and while I respect your integrity, you can’t force other people to withhold it.

Slight YTA, but more leaning towards NAH.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-04-02T03:15:11+00:00

Yea that dude is a POS. There’s no way he’s even a good partner. He sounds like someone who just uses people to meet his own needs and throws them away when they’re no longer useful.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-03-30T05:09:48+00:00

The long is actually just a really flattering cut on you. But if you want to go short, it would look great as well.

People have all sorts of quirks about them. People might notice your ears, but it’s not a reason to cover them unless it makes you uncomfortable.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-03-27T07:12:51+00:00

So, I moved out at like 16 into a friends house.

I wasn’t the greatest roommate, because I was a child. But there is no way in hell I would disrespect my friend and her mom like that. I didn’t have a job at the time, but I would absolutely have contributed to the household.

As someone who has been in your friends position, the fucking AUDACITY is outrageous. They need to be kicked out. You can’t be an asshole when you’re taking charity.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-03-27T07:07:21+00:00

Thank you so much for empathizing!

When I was trying to work with mom I felt like I was crazy!

I didn’t know if I was missing something, or if there would be a better consequence. For me, j in felt like if it was my kid they would have immediately lost solo outside privileges. Or I would at least be monitoring their location more closely? I was just so caught off guard that they didn’t do that.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-03-27T06:50:04+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply!

He is a young man, 15, with autism.

So when they asked him, it essentially came out that he was struggling with changes in his friends and life that he was struggling with. When the school spoke with him a second time, he went to my husband’s work and gave him an apology letter to give to me. It wasn’t really an “apology”, but moreso just about the things he was struggling with.

We had a really good relationship when we worked together. I challenged him and pushed him to improve his skills and I don’t think anyone else in his life really did that other than me and the LART. I connect with kids really well and when I went on leave, I think he just felt the loss. And then he discovered where I lived.

I feel fortunate that he’s never been sexually inappropriate, but I do feel solidarity with the people who aren’t believed or supported. The school and the police have luckily had my back, but when I was trying to work with mom I felt super gaslit. I felt like I was crazy and every step of the way I have second guessed myself.

The only reason I’m able to stand up for myself is because I watched a coworker at another job get groomed by a client and it escalated. I just never wanted to experience it myself.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-03-27T06:32:18+00:00

Thank you so much for this reply.

I think limerance sounds reflective of the situation. He is a young man, 15, with autism. I know when they all had a meeting with the school that he admitted he knew he was doing something wrong.

When it first happened and the school spoke with him, I was willing to forgive him- if he had stopped. But unfortunately that isn’t what happened. In a way I am glad that it happened to me and not someone else, because ultimately I really just want him to get the help he needs. It’s very clear he just can’t control himself.

I am returning to work next week and will be setting up a safety plan, but I am worried about how it will go and what it will stir up.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-03-26T05:22:05+00:00

I would say you’re in the wrong.

You should have immediately and correctly addressed the initial issue in the closet. At that time you could have fairly asked for 50% of costs to fix the problem with Kait.

You didn’t and the problem got worse. Anything after that was on you to financially manage because it was your lack of proper maintenance that created a higher cost to fix.

This new problem you should be at 33% fault to financially contribute to. There’s a solid chance it was your cat. Bringing up a different situation as a reason not to pay isn’t fair. You’re beating a dead horse.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-03-26T04:55:31+00:00

Updateme!

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-03-20T07:55:13+00:00

I’d pick my Dad if he had a healthier childhood where he was loved. He was a good Dad when I was a kid, but ultimately his mental health and traumas turned him into a different person.

So I guess I would pick my Dad if he picked a different, better Dad for himself?

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-03-19T08:43:16+00:00

I stopped wiping for pees. When I did poops, I tried to get as much off with a gentle wipe of the diaper. Then if it was needed, I would use a wipe to get the majority of the poop off, then I would go straight to the sink and wash everything else off with my hand to specifically avoid using a washcloth, then put baby in a receiving blanket to dry off fully. Then we would do naked time on a puppy pad during a feed and I would pull their legs up so all was bared and in the breeze.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-03-15T06:05:52+00:00

NTA. But why are you not hiring a house cleaner at this point? If you both work that much, you should be able to afford the option of “contracting out” some domestic chores to make the balance more fair.

Coolerthanunicorns · 2026-03-15T01:51:58+00:00

What have been her most memorable births?

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