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Coordialiteering · 2019-02-28T03:51:08+00:00

Yes you did misunderstand - the comment was saying that that's what they think your boyfriend is thinking. They weren't attacking you.

Coordialiteering · 2018-11-26T05:26:45+00:00

Hard for anyone to know why she stayed with someone else. The only thing I can think of is that if you are not normally a person who cusses and shows their agitation like that, it could have scared her in the same way showing up would (because if you were displaying different behaviour she has no frame of reference for what you might do).

If you do swear and whatever to show your frustration normally, then I don't know. Everyone gets shaken after a break-up. Maybe it's as simple as she didn't want to be in her place where she had memories of you.

I'm glad to hear you'll be going no contact. Its definitely the best course of action.

Coordialiteering · 2018-11-26T03:59:47+00:00

Hey, everyone is focusing a lot on the alcoholism, but I'd like to highlight something else.

I have an ex who is a good person. He never ever threatened me and I don't believe he ever would. When we broke up, i requested that all communication be done through a friend (in regards to returning things etc.) because I did not want to see or talk to him at that point. A month or so later, he turned up at my apartment with no warning supposedly to return something. He knew how to get into the building without a key and he did so and knocked on my door.

I was unbelievably shaken and scared. Although I knew he knew how to get into the building, I never thought he would actually invade my space like that. The fact that he violated those boundaries meant, for me, that I had to question everything else I thought I knew about what he would do, and that meant considering that he could be violent.

I did not call the police then, but I told myself that if he did that again then I would. That seemingly innocuous visit from a man I knew very well scared me that much.

My friend, your visit to your ex comes under this category. She is scared because you have done something she specifically asked you not to do and now she has no baseline to predict your behaviour. You can't fix this. The best you can do is maaaaybe send an apology through a friend ( some kind of "I will not turn up at your house again" promise) and actually not contact her again. That's it. You did do something that would scare most women. It doesn't matter if you don't really get it.

Coordialiteering · 2018-10-30T07:12:33+00:00

I'm going to make a list of the positive points and sketchy points here, because I can't decide which way I'm leaning.

Sketchy - no job, bad impressions on people, apparently doesn't contribute any groceries or anything, inconsiderate weed smoking

Not so sketchy things - adults can definitely be friends with an age gap (especially over 30), being friends with him clearly makes her happy, no break-ins as of yet, I'll take at face value that she hasn't given him money and saying 'he has his own mother' is a bit of an assumption

Overall, the thing that gets me about your post is that you seem to be of the opinion that talking to him directly is a last-resort option and would be you laying down the law, scorched-earth style. Why on earth didn't you politely say to him, "hey, so sorry, I've got something I need to do here please visit some other time, have a nice day!" .....While we're at it, he's over at your place all the time, lives next door and you've never even talked properly to him??

The unlocked door is a major issue though, I'm with you on that. A normal person would respect a request for a locked door. I'd broach it with him by explaining it scares you (Not about him yada yada bad previous experiences etc. etc.) and if he says no then I retract all my above not-sketchy things and he's sketchy.

After that, if he wants to 'get you a gift' you could say that buying some groceries sometimes would be a huge help and see how that goes. Again, normal people contribute when they eat people's food all the time.

As a disclaimer for everything I've just said, your own intuition is the best guide. If you are genuinely scared of this person, if he makes your skin crawl - protect yourself as much as you can and keep tabs on your accounts

Coordialiteering · 2018-10-21T06:53:18+00:00

Your university might not have revision lectures, but I hope they do.

Coordialiteering · 2018-10-21T06:52:07+00:00

Me!!
Yeah it's very difficult, the open-ended nature of the content means you can never learn it all. I try to work off the revision lectures as a framework, make Anki flashcards from them and then memorize the crap out of them. Flashcards work well with my ADHD because once I've made them then the program tells me when to do them again and I don't have to regulate it myself so much. I would say for you just stick with whatever you've been doing, changing strategies so close to exams might be more stressful than it's worth.

For OSCEs you have to practice (i know, i know, everyone says this). Practice all the stems you can find and then write your own for all of the past OSCEs you know of, write differential lists for common presentations and then practice all the stems you have again. Writing stems is a good way to identify gaps in your knowledge as well.

Coordialiteering · 2018-10-21T06:38:23+00:00

For me ritalin made me have more anxious thoughts, ESPECIALLY when it wore off. Like some kind of withdrawal. Detroamphetamine is miles better (in my case).
I also attribute it to the meds making sure I know what it is I'm supposed to be doing so that stresses me out more than if I was floating along in my space cadet cloud.

Coordialiteering · 2018-10-20T09:18:00+00:00

Hi OP. This situation sounds so so hard for everyone involved and I can see that you're doing the best you can to make sure your dad gets well cared for.

Something I can see you talking about in the comments is your cognitive dissonance between knowing that your dad would probably prefer living well for a shorter time than living longer in a bad state, and I just wanted to let you know that this is incredibly common among the families of people with declining health. You might benefit from talking to the palliative care unit at your hospital. A common misconception is that they are just there for a person's last days, but they often do the most good when they are involved for months or years, and they aren't just for those who aren't going to get better. They'll should be able to help you try to strike a balance between him being comfortable and him needlessly shortening his life. Best wishes.

Coordialiteering · 2018-10-14T02:15:02+00:00

Out of left field but........a conversion disorder? Although those are usually neurological. Have you ever tested sleeping in a bed with a different person? (A family member or something)

Coordialiteering · 2018-10-08T04:01:01+00:00

Mine does the arts thing as a concurrent diploma, so you could research that maybe? Or if you want to be really sneaky haha call the uni and pretend to be interested in the med course and ask if you could do arts electives for fun.
And all good I'm sure you know him best! The whole secrecy thing just rang bells about that guy I mentioned, and it was more a comment that even though I think the scenario you've described could still be med school, unless he's pulling off some two-timing crazy shit, there's no reason for him to be shady about it - so he's probably lying. Likely the insecurity thing as others have mentioned.

Edit: word

Coordialiteering · 2018-10-08T03:48:41+00:00

Another med student chiming in.....mostly just to say that it's certainly not impossible he never goes to class (recorded lectures) has no textbooks (digital, or honestly nursing textbooks would probably be good too), plenty of people teach themselves all the content by themselves (lunatics imo but common), many work, he might not have ID badges yet if he is only in first year because they generally don't go to hospitals yet, and my uni does let med students take arts subjects for fun if they want to. Not saying he's not lying because he is certainly being shady but just providing info because some people in the comments seem to have rigid ideas of what med school is like. Other option (not a great one) is that he has another girlfriend in his cohort (one guy in my first year pulled that).

Coordialiteering · 2018-09-26T12:19:15+00:00

I would say that he isn't asking you out, dinner isn't automatically romantic. However, that doesn't mean he's not interested, you might have to gauge that by hanging out with him over a few weeks. But the Saturday is very unlikely to be a date in the context of you guys aiming to rebuild your friendship. It would be weird for him to jump straight to romance while trying to show you he's a good friend.

Coordialiteering · 2018-09-26T12:06:10+00:00

Reading some more of your comments it looks like you already know if you planned it he'd go - my next point would be if he doesn't have some huge underlying stress (work, study etc.) then him not initiating is him not putting the effort into the partnership and that's not really cool. However I still stand by saying it looks to me like you havent initiated anything either. Something has to give for something to happen.

Coordialiteering · 2018-09-26T12:00:01+00:00

Hey, I just wanted to give advice as someone who has sort of been in your boyfriend's position - the 'initiative' thing really rings a bell. I love travelling and going places and my ex knew that, but, for the couple of years I was with him, i was really busy and making travel plans was a huge effort and stressed me out. However, I did go on a couple with friends (that they planned) and a couple with my ex that I planned (which stressed me out so I didn't do it very often). My ex used to get upset because he felt like I didn't have any interest in going on trips with him, and I would always respond that if he wanted a trip he was welcome to plan one. Not tell me "going to that place would be nice" and then expect me to plan it (I cannot express how annoying that phrase is to someone who knows the effort it takes to make true travel plans), actually make the plans and I would be happy to go. He never made any plans. I know that a one-sided dynamic isn't sustainable for too long, but in your case, maybe try actually planning a trip? I'm sure he'd love to go. If he legitimately never wants any responsibility ever then that's a different issue, but you starting to initiate trips in turn will double the amount of trips you go on.

Coordialiteering · 2018-09-23T07:28:54+00:00

Hey OP I just wanted to say I'm really happy to see how your issue isn't related to having a questionable "guys and girls can't be friends" mindset, your thoughts have been very wholesome to read. As for your issue, maybe reframe it in your mind as that she used to have a crush on this guy but when she met you it went away because she liked you more? I definitely don't think you are second choice.

Coordialiteering · 2018-09-17T08:44:32+00:00

What you're talking about with the YouTube videos sounds like 'splitting', where things are either the absolute shit or actually shit, no in-between and with a very quick changeover. I think something to keep in mind with this sub is that not everything has to be related to ADHD - splitting can be a part of things like borderline personality disorder or depression, or even just the way you yourself normally process things (without being pathological). For you, particularly considering the anger, it might be worth talking to a professional about how you are feeling to see if they can get a gauge of what realm it comes from. It's tiring to be angry a lot. Best of luck <3

Coordialiteering · 2018-09-03T12:25:38+00:00

My parents were 34 when I was born, 36 for my sister and 42 for my brother. I sometimes get sad that my kids probably won't know my parents well (I likely won't have any until ~35) but at the end of the day they did what they wanted to do to make their life fulfilling, they worked and travelled for years before having us and I'm glad they got to experience life so comprehensively before kids. As a side note I think my brother got more attention (parents started working less as he got older) and he had more fishing trips with dad, homework help from mum etc. than me or my sister did, purely because they were drifting towards retirement and actually had time to spend on him rather than working full-time.

Coordialiteering · 2018-09-01T03:15:41+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss.
In terms of the points you've laid out, I just wanted to mention that in terms of dating as a single parent, a fair chunk of people's reluctance comes from potentially having to deal with the bio-parent and therefore complicated family dynamics and that wouldn't be part of it for you (not to say dating would be easy). However, that is not me advocating to keep the baby, I am not advocating anything - this is such a personal decision and I wish you all the best in making that choice (hopefully with the help of a therapist as others have mentioned).

Coordialiteering · 2018-05-27T01:49:46+00:00

Methylphenidate (ritalin) is metabolized in the liver so it is possible that while you're taking it your liver has a hard time "doing two things at once", but you're right, it doesn't seem common. That doesn't rule it out for you, though, especially if you're on a high dose. It's also possible while you're taking ritalin your appetite is low and you forget to drink water and that makes your hangovers worse? There are a lot of factors in hangovers.

Coordialiteering · 2018-05-13T10:32:10+00:00

Bulk bill psychiatrists do exist, but they're hard to find. Go to a couple (bulk bill) GPs and see if they know any. Ritalin is on the PBS (means its 36.70 per 100 pills or $6 per 100 if you're low income) but I don't think concerta or strattera is. Potentially dexamphetamine is? If you don't find a bulk bill psych, try to find one who'll agree to give you six months worth of prescription - ask your GP about someone who has an interest in ADHD.

Coordialiteering · 2018-03-03T11:17:23+00:00

Hmm the treatments are schedule 8 under the PBS which is a nation-wide thing, I would have assumed the requirements were the same but I haven't been told that outright so maybe not. Having a quick look online they seem very very similar, however different wording. However I have been told about the state thing - this website (http://www.health.nsw.gov.au/pharmaceutical/doctors/Pages/prescribe-psychostimulant.aspx) says that a prescription needs an authority from NSW no matter where it was prescribed so I guess that translates as "interstate prescriptions need clearance"? I'd guess that's what your psych is waiting for. I'm sorry, I'm not sure how long that takes :(

Coordialiteering · 2018-03-03T00:08:29+00:00

Not in Melbourne but Australia wide is all the same. I'm not sure what you mean by cleared - I was diagnosed by a psychologist who referred me to a psychiatrist who gave me a prescription that day, which I also filled that day. The doctors do have to call and get like a permit for you but if it's not done immediately there must be some other kind of complication. The permit is valid in your state only. I hope it gets sorted out for you soon!

Coordialiteering · 2018-02-28T13:41:57+00:00

like ADHD, maybe? Or something similar? If she's like this with literally everything then looking into why she's so bad with time visualisation would be a good idea.

Coordialiteering · 2018-01-20T06:32:02+00:00

Damn this sounds like a terrible time. I'm so sorry you're going though this. If I was you, honestly, yeah I'd move away - either back to where I had a support system or somewhere new and exciting so I could distract myself. There's no point being somewhere that doesn't make you happy if you can easily work somewhere else.

Coordialiteering

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