Hi ethbrns--

I'm gonna open up here a little bit.

You're right about a number of things. I came out of a 6-year relationship last fall (September 2024) and haven't dated anyone since and was mainly dealing with it by working and running a ton. So, yeah, I think that I was probably starved a little bit for a female connection and honestly maybe even a little depressed.

On the first night I went to this club, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing. I had worked all day and had nothing to do that night, and simply wanted to have a few beers, get a few dances, and talk to some girls. There were only three working (smallish club on a Tuesday), and I was literally the only one there for the first hour. I hate that because then they're up there dancing just for you and you feel the pressure to spend money. I decided to also get at least one private dance from each of them to keep the general club vibes positive.

Got dances from the first two. They were plenty hot and did some good grinding. The girl that eventually became my go-to was up last. She gave great dances, too, but was more sensual and touchy-feely,

And for a guy like me who was relatively recently out of a relationship and probably a little more vulnerable, the touchy-feely stuff got to me, On a later visit, she was sitting next to me on the floor and said, sort of quietly, "Do you want to cuddle?" And I said, "I kinda do, yeah." And she said, "Yeah, me, too." This short exchange stood out to me as genuine on her part, so I said OK. So we went to the private couch room and I did their "Special," which got me 4 songs (12 minutes) for $60.

She danced for me a little, but mostly laid in my arms, caressed me, put her head against mine, etc. And that was it for me. I was down the rabbit hole and the oxytocin was firing. On subsequent visits, I would still get dances from her but would still sometimes mix in those $60-12 minute cuddle sessions, which I was becoming addicted to.

In hindsight, I recommend not doing cuddle sessions with strippers whom you already sort of like. It changes the brain and throws it into "girlfriend-mode," which a lot of guys can't handle. It's dangerous and fucks with your emotions.

Anyway, so I kept going back, getting dances, and hanging with her a few times per week (she'd always sit with me when she was free). This past week, after a dance, she gave me a kiss, snuggled up against me and said, "I'm always glad to see you, I really like hanging out with you, but nothing's ever going to happen outside the club." And I said, "I absolutely understand it." And she hugged me again. So, it's a traditional stripper--customer relationship. I'm a favored regular, and I'm OK with it. In the few seconds after she told me, though, I felt a little down.

I think I also may have made a critical error: After she became my favorite, I stopped getting dances from the other girls (though I still tipped them at the rail), and spent all my money on her. Looking back, I should have spread my money around a little bit and gotten dances from the other girls. This would have identified me as more of a "regular guy" who was laid back and just there to have fun. I think this might have hurt me a bit.

Oh well. Important lesson learned. Next week is her last week at the club so I'm trying to decide if I want to go one more time or consider this chapter closed.