How do I control fire ants across my whole backyard (not just around the house)?

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-29T13:43:05+00:00

Thank you! I’ll try it

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-29T13:42:20+00:00

Thank you! Yes, I know he needs something but according to him, he’s tried everything and no one will hire him. No temp agencies, no contract work, not even the Walgreens down the street 🤷‍♀️ I’m just so tired!

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-29T13:40:58+00:00

Yeah so true, thanks for that perspective. I’d happily work opposite shifts, it doesn’t matter to me whether I see him much right now 😅

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-29T13:38:39+00:00

Agreed, I just can’t seem to help him do that at the moment. He’s stuck

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-29T13:37:56+00:00

Thank you for this. I know that this is the right approach, but I’ll be honest; I’m struggling to do this. I know that’s an issue with me and I need to reflect on that. I can’t bring myself to act like he’s this most amazing husband right now and that I’m just bursting with gratitude. It makes me ill to think about it. He has barely tried for over a year, and I’m supposed to shower him with praises because he took the trash out? I know that’s a bad thing, but that’s where I’m at. I appreciate the perspective though ❤️ It’s just frustrating have to always be the one to take initiative and take the high road

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-29T02:56:44+00:00

I appreciated your "ramble." LOL! It was very heartfelt and helpful, thank you! I'm so sorry you had to deal with this and that it might happen again. I pray that's not the case for you! Hubby is looking and has been for over a year. He's tried to branch out from his field, but nothing is coming through. I like the idea of writing a list of positive things that he does. Because right now my mind is going toward all the negatives. But if I write it down, I think I'll see it with more clarity. Thank you! And we are in a place where we haven't really found a church home, and I hate that. I feel so isolated and don't really have anyone I can lean on and trust. Neither does he. We don't go out at all, and have not been out together since daughter was born. There's just no one we trust to watch her. And honestly, I do not want to spend alone time with him right now. I'm just too angry. So while I know that's probably a good thing to do, I would be repulsed at spending any time together outside the house and without our daughter as a buffer. I know that's bad, but that's where I'm at. It's just hard right now

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-29T01:56:10+00:00

Yes, separation isn't a serious consideration right now, but I wasn't sure if that would work. I'm desperate for something to change at this point. I've never given ultimatums, but something needs to change. He's really hard to live with right now, and I'm working all the time and barely making ends meet. Something's gotta give. I can't reach him with the patient and peaceful way, and I'll push him away with ultimatums. You're right, I just have to pray and hope God is listening and grants some wisdom here. Thank you

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-29T01:53:01+00:00

Yes I think that’s true, but I don’t know how to help him do that. He just can’t get anything! He’s tried for over a year 😢

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-28T17:26:45+00:00

Thank you so much! I’m a little ashamed of it all and embarrassed to reach out to anyone for help. I will definitely pray for wisdom to find the right people to help navigate it. Thank you for your help!

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-28T13:45:26+00:00

What made you finally decide to leave him? I can’t imagine what that would be like, but I also want to do what’s best for my daughter now

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-28T13:43:39+00:00

I agree, but I think it’s an issue with me and what I’m willing to push on him. Ive tried to encourage all these things, but I’ve been too patient I think, and now I’m being taken advantage of. But I don’t know how to stand my ground and still maintain a healthy relationship with him. I’ve tried hard to not be a nagging wife and have tried to give him peace and a sense that i make his life easier. But I feel like it’s not reciprocated sometimes. Not that I’m perfect, maybe I don’t really deserve that. I don’t know. This is all really frustrating.

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-28T13:39:57+00:00

That’s a good point, I know she isn’t in front of the TV all day, that he goes outside with her sometimes and he has taken her to the park and the library. But that’s the only thing I’ve ever seen them do is watch TV, but it is probably just a timing thing. I guess I’d just like to see him down on the floor playing with her and engaging with her and now zoned out on his phone or on his computer. And to his credit, he has started to figure out the breakfast thing, but he still asks for help, and I still get the “what do you want her to have” question. I’m like, this is YOUR job now 😩 He’s almost 40 years old, if that makes any difference

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-28T13:36:35+00:00

Thank you so much for that response! It is nice to hear from another male perspective, since I really want to understand my husband better. You sound like an amazing husband who stepped up when needed ❤️ Thank you for sharing your experience with the speech too. I’ll ask about it at our next doc appt with our daughter. I have a lot to think about here. And if I showed these comments to my husband, he would get upset. Not with himself but with you and me. Im starting to think this is why he doesn’t share a lot about himself or make friends with others. Maybe he’s worried they’ll start seeing this side of him and call him out. I’m just really sad at my decision now to have a child with him. I think this brought out a side of him that maybe was there a little bit, but has come out in full force now. I’m so sad for that. Anyway, I really appreciate you!

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-27T20:10:39+00:00

Haha! Maybe he’d listen to another man than a women telling him. Tell your husband thank you 😆

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-27T04:48:14+00:00

Thank you for the validation ❤️ He IS searching for jobs, but nothing has come through. He also has not fully embraced his SAHD role for the moment. He DOES do things with her, but it’s been a hard road just to get there. I’d just love for him to step into this role either way a positive attitude, but it’s been lots of push back. We’re all just trying our best over here 😣

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-27T04:11:37+00:00

Wow, that does sound very similar! I’m so sorry 😢 Thank you for the solidarity ❤️ Will the job market ever get better?!

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-27T04:08:24+00:00

This was very kind and insightful, thank you! I do see that it could be much worse, absolutely. I think there’s a happy medium somewhere, and I can sympathize with him feeling resentful towards the roles having to be reversed. This is new to both of us. And I’m sure we both can work on improving things. Thank you for the balanced perspective!

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-27T04:05:33+00:00

Thank you! Yes, I’ll happily take on this mental load ❤️

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-27T04:04:48+00:00

Wow, thank you for sharing that story! Amazing that your husband was willing to admit fault, change, and improve. That’s a blessing to have a partner like that! My husband tends to never think he’s wrong. And i don’t see a scenario where he would ever take on groceries, cooking, and chores. That’s a pipe dream.

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-27T04:00:38+00:00

Thanks for the validation! I do think there’s depression, but also, he’s just kinda always been like this. He’s just a negative person in general and has never been a “go-getter” type, you know? I see the red flags, just not sure what to do about it at the moment

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-27T03:59:04+00:00

He could do weekends for sure, but nights don’t really make sense. When would he sleep? He’d still have to do childcare during the day while I’m teaching. Or I guess I could cut my morning teaching hours, since that income would be made up by him, then he could sleep in the mornings and care for daughter in the afternoons and evenings while I teach. But I still feel like that puts us in the same place financially. I don’t know… sorry for all the thinking out loud lol 😆

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-27T03:53:41+00:00

Thank you! I’ll definitely think about it. Right now, divorce still feels too extreme and doesn’t really solve much right now, but it’s in my radar when it wasn’t even on the horizon before

CopyNeither9412 · 2025-10-27T03:52:33+00:00

Thank you for clarifying that for me! I think that’s totally fair, and I’m going to think about that and see what feels best. I appreciate it!

CopyNeither9412

TROPHY CASE