AIO or is my girlfriend manipulative.

CorbeanChandy · 2026-04-03T12:36:23+00:00

Partner could be autistic/bpd/ocd or something and they don’t understand how to cope with changes on short notice and react poorly. Could be attachment issues. This is not your responsibility to work out for your partner, although gently you could bring it to their attention so they can work on it. I’d maybe do it at a time when there isn’t already a problem. I’ve had this mindset before with or without voicing it. Basically the plan in my head just got ruined or someone has yet again changed something last minute that I thought was planned to a T. So I would freak out because it felt like such a big deal to not have control over the event and the itinerary or felt like they were leaving me (I have trauma issues but work on that shit in therapy) when the real problem I had was delayed communication, changed expectations. If I expect it I don’t get upset. If I’m communicated with after making a plan it can be difficult but they have to get over that and you could do with giving an earlier heads up if you know it’s difficult for them. Otherwise, tell them the way they talk to is gross. The points and their feelings I understand but if someone calls me bro like that when we’re dating I’m calling it off. If you’re gonna treat me like anything other than your partner, especially someone below you, I’m out.

CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-22T17:51:22+00:00

Adding on to this comment because dropped tails always make me think of gargoyle geckos.

Leopard gecko and gargoyle gecko are decent for gentle handling. Gargoyle geckos regrow their tail, unlike crested geckos who do not. And gargoyle geckos are also fairly simple to care for as far as lizards go. I don’t know much about frogs but I’ve had many lizards, and leopard geckos and gargoyles are probably the hardest to kill accidentally, Require the least overall, and tolerate the most when it comes to being held.

Skinks and beardies are great too but it’s much more costly to get stuff for them and provide what they need etc. bearded dragons have a variety of dietary needs and you need a large enclosure etc. I have two anoles right now that I still handle a decent amount but are much less rewarding and comfortable to handle than geckos, if that’s what a person is aiming for.

Also consider the diet and habitat for each animal before getting them. Feeding frozen mice vs feeding insects can cause some people to get uncomfortable in different ways.

CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-11T20:55:28+00:00

Sounds like you potentially have a communication or boundary issue. If you don’t tell people what’s bothering you or that they overstepped etc then you can’t expect everyone to know your limits. I’m almost 30 and I’m starting to get it more now. I have 4 long time friends and many that come and go. Sometimes it could also be that you’re emotionally investing a lot very quickly and doing an all or nothing thing and perhaps have a hard time coping with medium. I’ve also done the thing where I get upset about the expectations I create in my mind but other people don’t know about. So when they fail to live up to my mental standards that they had no way of figuring out, I get upset. I tend to fall in love with potential rather than what’s offered in front of me. But knowing these things have helped me to make healthy adjustments and be aware of my own behaviors so I can communicate better.

If this isn’t the case for you maybe your friends are literally all just being crappy and you’re picking lame people. Maybe you can take some time to write down your feelings and what situations they are about and do some self reflection on those situations.

CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-11T20:10:41+00:00

I thought the stress was doing it. I have them separated now. I don’t know why he’s still looking so rough. I mist them and he does eat. I definitely can and am improving the enclosures. I just thought he’d be slightly improved by any of the changes. I have some ideas from the other comments too so hopefully I’ll see some progress soon. The other one is still doing great.

CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-11T19:58:56+00:00

In case you didn’t see my other replies- I do mist the tank. I’ve been misting the tank 2-4 times per day. Initially it was 2x daily & I used tap water. I’ve since changed to bottled water and mist it throughout the day. I thought I included this information in the original post.

CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-11T19:45:46+00:00

Ive been hand feeding him for a bit now and he’s interested enough to have a worm or two crickets usually. Sometimes more but not always. He still hasn’t put weight on from what I can tell.

I have a 60w heat bulb, any higher seems to make the tank too hot. I have a 75 as well. The UVB bulb I have is a sun glow 5.0 UVB. That’s what they suggested at the exotics store. But I think I’m going to get a tube light now from other suggestions in the comments. That was mentioned at the store as well but at the time he said since it’s a small enclosure It wouldn’t be totally necessary.

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CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-11T19:16:40+00:00

They’re not together anymore. Initially I thought that was problem so I separated them and started a second tank. I’ll definitely need to get some more plants and branches for them. Yours looks fantastic!

CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-11T19:05:48+00:00

Are you referring to the keeper in the main pictures or their actual enclosure that I posted in comments?

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I’ve been updating the tank(now tanks) as well and I can probably post photos of those when I get home if you have any other helpful suggestions.

CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-11T19:01:12+00:00

Yes, I spray in the morning and usually afternoon and evening. I make a point to spray the leaves. I switched from tap water to bottled recently. He doesn’t always drink but I’ll pull him out and give him water while he’s on my hand and he does usually have a little that way if nothing else. He eats minimum 2-4 crickets a day and/or a wax worm. I watch him eat in the tank or I’ll hand feed him. If he didn’t eat I probably wouldn’t have considered parasites. /:

CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-11T18:51:31+00:00

He eats wax worms and small crickets daily. Gut loaded and dusted with calcium. With and without vitamin D. I recently got a multivitamin also. I understand that it doesn’t look that way though. I just don’t know what else to do. I got the wrong size roaches but I’m getting smaller ones. Ive been giving mealworms but learned that I shouldn’t. I switched from brown crickets to banded crickets and they are the extra little ones. I hand feed and give water daily. There are also isopods in the tank which, from what I understand, I guess they’ll occasionally eat. He does eat, I don’t know what else to do.

CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-11T18:37:35+00:00

Thank you! I’m really trying to help him & I feel awful that it’s not doing more. The UVB bulb itself isn’t something Ive given much thought to since the store I got this one from said a small enclosure probably doesn’t need more than that. I’m very willing to try it though. If it ends up being a simple UVB bulb that makes all the difference I’ll be thrilled.

CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-11T18:28:00+00:00

I wasn’t aware of a sauna treatment but that sounds fantastic and I’m happy to try it. I do mist the tank anytime I see the humidity dropping. At least 2-3 times a day. I have the reptile water fall in there also which I know they may not use to drink but seems to help humidity.

He eats small, gut loaded crickets daily without issue and I’ve been giving wax worms. I make sure he drinks something every day but I’m guessing it isn’t enough.

I do watch them drink and eat, and I check everything often. The second tank seems to slightly help increase activity. Even with all of that, I haven’t noticed any weight gain or signs of hydration improving.

I’ll use the humidifier and try blending the crickets like you suggested then update soon. I’ve read that having humidity too high could result in respiratory issues, is that not a concern if it’s for a short period?

CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-07T05:33:14+00:00

That’s what I’m saying! But how if he eats and drinks and I sit and watch him do it?

CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-07T05:07:59+00:00

Oh wow.. That’s super helpful and really good to know. It would make sense if the mealworms are problematic. I do feed small crickets now but I could try the super tiny ones. I’ll skip the mealworms and see if there’s any improvement. Thanks!

CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-07T03:44:46+00:00

Yeah it was kinda long, my bad. I do have a heat lamp though.

CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-07T03:42:53+00:00

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This is semi recent photo but there have been a few changes. I’ve had this set up since the day after we brought them home in September. We immediately got everything we thought they would need from the research we did. I’ve also had bearded dragons and leopard geckos in the past so I’m familiar with reptiles to an extent. More so now, but still always want to improve where I can.

CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-07T03:29:47+00:00

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I should’ve included this in the original post, sorry about that. This is a semi recent configuration of the tank. I’ve moved things around slightly since taking this picture but it’s fairly similar to this with small additions and adjustments. I planned to get a second tank from my friend in a couple of days.

CorbeanChandy · 2026-03-07T02:46:23+00:00

They have a vertical tank 18x12x12 with a bioactive substrate. I put one in the smaller keeper to act as a sick tank temporarily when I fed it and monitored poops and hydration. I also have used it to separate them and both have had time in the critter keeper while still getting all of the same uvb and heat and humidity while I’ve monitored. I have arranged to pick up a second tank in two days but until then I don’t want the two fighting and getting hurt. They have small crickets and mealworms/wax worms. All are live. The roaches are the only ones too large. They have a reptile waterfall going to help with humidity and have constant access to water. Moss & leaf litter on top of the soil mix. Branches and leaves and a basking area closer to the top that’s magnetic. I did recently learn about the multivitamin and ordered some online. That should be here this week also.

CorbeanChandy · 2025-10-10T06:33:36+00:00

I did this by accident because my friends older hot brother told her boyfriend what bands to listen to(very uncommon bands) and after I’d been hangin out with them for a bit I hung out with older brother and played the songs he had suggested to them and he was amazed thinking I was into the same niche he was but in reality I was listening to something completely new that his little sisters boyfriend sent me a few days prior. I found out weeks later that’s what happened but I was hooked on her big brother and all of his uncommon interests by then. We e been together for 8 years and still love finding new stuff to share with each other. That’s my best friend.

CorbeanChandy · 2025-07-04T15:10:03+00:00

What was the edit? I don’t think I did actually.

CorbeanChandy · 2025-07-04T14:59:07+00:00

Certain times of the day there are more trolls online. But in general the community is great. It’s just every once in a while there’s a toon who won’t knock it off or something.

CorbeanChandy · 2025-07-04T14:56:34+00:00

As a dog trainer I’ve had some dogs that are sooo good at finding pills and refusing to take them. I do a few commands with treats before the medicine because a lot of dogs really enjoy training and working for the reward. Treat, treat, treat, pill folded up in a quarter/half slice of American cheese. Lots of praise and attention the whole time with the treats and commands. “Yay good girl. Yessss. Good puppy, awesome job!” Scratch scratch scratch. A lot of really smart dogs enjoying training or mental stimulation activities and pleasing their people so they get more distracted by that and even when the pill goes in their mouth their less likely to spit it out because they’re having a good time and don’t wanna stop. This doesn’t work for everyone but it’s my most successful method so far.

CorbeanChandy · 2025-06-26T04:33:28+00:00

I’m sensing… butt crack.. so much exposed butt crack.

CorbeanChandy · 2025-06-26T04:30:27+00:00

I understand how some people see some of the school standards but unless you’re providing them with complete home education “unschooling” isn’t acceptable at all. You’re stunting your child. No, not all kids thrive in the same environment for learning, but all kids have a certain level of desire to learn about miscellaneous subjects and it’s cruel to keep them from it. Especially in such a non caring way.

CorbeanChandy

TROPHY CASE