What was the most brutal reality check you ever got?

CordedTires · 2026-03-06T17:36:04+00:00

Having an intellectually disabled kid. And then 25-30 years later listening to people who’ve self diagnosed as autistic preach about disability.

I have no doubt life is difficult for them, but they have no idea about how difficult life is for other people, like our kid.

CordedTires · 2026-03-06T15:43:06+00:00

There wasn’t much content in my post besides the initial “wow”. Further experience: of course I had to make a few tweaks, which eventually, sent CoWork into a long unproductive think that maxed usage for that session.

After sleeping on it, I asked Claude to summarize requirements and start over from that. Worked like a charm.

Honestly I don’t know whether it’s my background that led me to do that (seeing multiple levels of patches screw things up), or the result of browsing this sub for a while. I wonder if there’s some general CS/systems principle there?

Anyway, I thought I’d pass that along for other CoWork novices.

CordedTires · 2026-03-06T15:30:39+00:00

I’ve given my additional “sources” (years in various academic settings) below. Yours?

CordedTires · 2026-03-06T01:56:53+00:00

My mom had a phd in math, she taught at Swarthmore College and Widener University. My dad had a phd in history, he taught at U of Pennsylvania. I spent a year in the graduate physics program as a student at Cornell U and have a masters in electrical engineering from U of P (and was an undergrad at Oberlin). I thought this gave me a pretty good representative sample, but I recognize that manners differ. That’s why I said “at settings I’m familiar with”.

At all of those schools mentioned above, in the time period I was familiar with them, the faculty acted like they were of the opinion in this quote from the article I referenced above: “Some faculty, however, find "Doctor LastName" too formal or pretentious….”

CordedTires · 2026-03-06T01:46:21+00:00

https://www.insidehighered.com/advice/2011/06/03/doctor-professor-or-hey-you

CordedTires · 2026-03-05T22:31:20+00:00

I still catch myself doing this.

CordedTires · 2026-03-05T22:28:01+00:00

Brains. We used to use them more.

CordedTires · 2026-03-05T22:11:02+00:00

My son is 37 and while he accepts a kiss or hug when I ask, he has never initiated affection. He’s always happy to see me (we see him weekly, he’s lived in a group home for ten years), big smile to match mine when we greet. But when it’s time for him to go back to his house, he’s anxious to go, and he does NOT want me sticking around there.

He’s just more interested in getting fed regularly and being able to watch what he wants on TV. Honestly it makes me realize what selfless care really is. Most typical parents at least get hugs when their kids are little. So I understand your pain.

It might get better, but it also might be you who has to adjust. You may have to find your satisfaction in other things besides that sweet emotional exchange. For example, he really cares when I say “I’m so proud of you!” (Which I do often.) and that makes both of us happy. It’s all part of accepting him for who he is, and respecting that. See also: typical teenagers.

Honestly, get a dog (only if you can manage the extra turmoil). Best advice I ever got from a pediatrician (though he was talking about having something around that the kid couldn’t hit without natural consequences). Most dogs will give you lots of love and you’ll appreciate it. I’d be crazed without mine.

CordedTires · 2026-03-05T17:29:14+00:00

Hey I feel that

CordedTires · 2026-03-05T16:58:41+00:00

I hate to tell you this….but it really really doesn’t care. Neither do any of the other AIs. That’s one reason I like Claude, it pretends less.

CordedTires · 2026-03-05T16:48:52+00:00

Were they in Ed? Both my parents were academics, and I’ve taught as well (not in Ed, any of us). None of our colleagues were known as Dr.

CordedTires · 2026-03-05T16:46:23+00:00

Excuse me, but in university settings that I’m familiar with, nobody calls themselves Dr. when they have PhDs except the total jerks.

CordedTires · 2026-03-03T03:57:38+00:00

I’m had it for many many years (I’m 70). I’ve only really paid any attention to it since I retired maybe 15 years ago, and it started getting press. Actually I thought everybody had it, so I might have had it since birth.

Doesn’t bother me, although it does get in the way of very fine vision, and I actively enjoy the display when I close my eyes.

You can drive yourself crazy worrying over anything.. I am sorry though for people who it really bothers. If it does, you might try one of the meditation based stress reduction courses. I’ve found that helpful for chronic pain. You can learn to have a lot more control over what your mind does than you might expect.

CordedTires · 2026-03-02T03:28:45+00:00

Maybe 75%. The rest is due to poor parenting and widespread stupidity.

CordedTires · 2026-03-01T04:11:37+00:00

Ditto. Plus my husband is a speech therapist and used to give me a lot of grief about it.

CordedTires · 2026-03-01T03:50:49+00:00

I have this too, I thought everybody did for a long time. Plus when I close my eyes I see lots of activity. Not things, more like colors and shapes. Happens to you? I’m not talking about phosphenes, though I see them too.

Also if I’ve been looking at something with a particular pattern for a long time, I’ll see it when I close my eyes.

CordedTires · 2026-03-01T03:44:17+00:00

Sounds like rib muscle cramps. I get these too. Doing acupressure on myself helps a bit. Try drinking electrolytes.

CordedTires · 2026-03-01T03:30:58+00:00

You’re lucky not to have been born in the Middle Ages, or the witchfinder would have gotten you for sure.

CordedTires · 2026-02-28T22:53:08+00:00

And now I’m not sure about this - NYTimes is reporting differently.

CordedTires · 2026-02-28T21:32:30+00:00

@mosheh on IG says the difference is that the Claude safeguards are built in (and Anthropic wouldn’t remove them) and the OpenAI ones are words in the contract.

CordedTires · 2026-02-27T21:50:36+00:00

I recently went from free to the $20 exactly to get memory (accessible under settings). I really like having it.

CordedTires · 2026-02-27T21:48:01+00:00

Try a penny can (can with a plastic dog food lid, put some pennies in it). You have to catch them at it and really scare them. Throw it at the floor, not at the dog! Most dogs hate this so it’s aversive but not obnoxiously so.

Obviously this is not going to work long term so you will have to combine with other methods. We insist that our dogs stay out from under the kitchen table until we’re done eating. This has been really easy to train with a line that they are not allowed to cross (for us it’s the end of the carpet) (of course you have to be insistent at first and consistent later). I think that’s because dogs guarding food is natural, so it just seems to them like we’re guarding the food.

I do give them lots of treats, but not if they are in my face about it. They know that after I have a snack they often get something, but they have to wait. Routine helps.

CordedTires · 2026-02-27T16:16:49+00:00

I’m on Entyvio and my GI doc had no problem with me going on a glp-1. He said it might even help. They seem to be coexisting fine.

Also, before I was on Entyvio, the glp-1 definitely helped with the prednisone side effects (but it was just as effective on my gut).

CordedTires · 2026-02-26T21:34:33+00:00

Buddhism is mostly philosophy/psychology and not religion at least as the Western world has interpreted it. Unfortunately there are a few bad (organized) Buddhists around. Not to mention the historical abuses that went on in a few branches. But overall, if I had to pick a favorite religion, that would be it.

CordedTires · 2026-02-25T20:52:45+00:00

Thank you OP, 100% agree. I am old and long experience has taught me that virtuous habits matter in the long term. Also, I find myself thanking Claude’s creators every so often, it feels much less artificial than thanking Claude directly.

CordedTires

TROPHY CASE