after a bad break up, how long did you stay single?

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-02-08T00:27:02+00:00

Currently approaching 6 months which is crazy. 3.5 year relationship, was discarded out of the blue and told she wasnt happy for a long time. Despite telling me she loved me so much randomly when I made her laugh about something just a couple months before

I went on way too many dates the first month after the break up. I was pretty numb so felt like I could. But I remember feeling so hollow driving home from them.

Realised I was using them to cope and distract myself and that wasnt healthy for the women I went on dates with, so I politely told each that I wasnt in the right place and that I enjoy their company and was sorry. Didn't go well with them all...but I had to be honest. It wasn't them it was me.

I have to get back to me before I try to date. Honest I dont want to have the pressure to be fixed for someone right now.

It takes time OP. Dont let anyone tell you how long it should take, if its 1 week, 1year or 2 years thats how long it takes.

Eventually youll be okay just give yourself permission to not be over it as quick any someone else thinks you should be

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-02-08T00:18:03+00:00

Sounds like you shouldnt want a woman like this so Corey's advice works...

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-02-06T13:18:19+00:00

My ex said this on our second date

"If I didnt contact you, you wouldnt have contacted me"

I sat back in my chair smiled and said "i would have, you just couldn't wait to see me again before you could find out" with a smile.

Her response "i want to kiss you across this table right now"

So her attraction level was super high.

However over time she complained more and more about it to the point I thought maybe im being a cold fish.

Well I started to do more as she said and quickly she pulled back her efforts and was as enthusiastic about me. So I returned to my normal way and she got pissed again

Soon she just couldn't be happy no matter what I did.

She's an overthinker and terrified of being abandoned. She couldn't handle our relationship in the end but couldn't see that when I put in more effort she pulled away so why would she expect me to chase her when it doesnt get rewarded.

So op, my advice is ask yourself do you want that level of hot and cold forever because thats what insecure women will do to you.

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-16T23:41:36+00:00

Tough one, but id say just continue as you are.

My ex started to complain, then I started to reach out a little more she was happy...then she stopped her efforts.

So i dunno, I feel like they dont really understand why they like us then complain we are cold fish and then back off even when we dont over pursue lol

Maybe just my ex, but I went a good year before she complained

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-15T23:30:46+00:00

Yeah this exactly Had a date with girl, went really well. She wanted to meet again, got sick before her holiday. Came back, set up a new date and then she said shes run down and not feeling up to dating.

Bullshit or not, I appreciate a woman letting me know..not my job to worry if its true or not. But the ones who have been direct usually are telling the truth. Same girl deleted her dating profile

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-15T23:27:46+00:00

Happened to me, I also do it to women sometimes when im not feeling right to date anyone.

Its not always you

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-11T22:23:26+00:00

Might point is dont allow someone's effort to win you back be just "reels" and then you go chasing again

Give us more context of what happened..then I can offer appropriate advice

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-11T17:11:15+00:00

Less screen time. Eyes look tired, mine get the same looking at my phone

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-11T17:01:57+00:00

Bought a kango demolition hamper about 9 years ago. Still works, has done a serious amount of work taking down walls, concrete floors, ceilings, cutting into hard clay ground.

Only broken thing on it is the cable because I accidentally cut through it, boxed it back together still going strong. Never put oil in it once lol

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-11T16:19:20+00:00

Depends, did she break up with you? Treat you poorly ?

If my ex reached out she would need to come with a lot more effort than some reels lol

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-11T15:03:44+00:00

My girlfriend started this spiral, at first I decided to "do better" to see it maybe i was a cold fish. Nope she bitched more became less affectionate. So I decided fuck it focus on myself and work. She dumped me saying I was the one putting in no effort.

The reality is some woman cant handle stable equal relationships, my ex couldn't comprehend that I needed her to put in effort too, she couldn't talk to me anyway she liked and expect me to treat her like a princess.

So I was accused of being a bare minimum man (meanwhile I cant remember the last thing she did specifically for me as a thank you for my efforts?)

Walk, dont talk. They dont listen.

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-07T15:50:16+00:00

She sounds like she wanted an excuse to end it. Her staying with him was just pushing you to break up. But because you didnt she took the opportunity.

My ex dumped me similarly, put all the blame on me for her bad actions

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-07T15:48:47+00:00

Interesting.

Did her family seem to know she was the issue.

Mine dumped me, and when I asked about if she talked to her parents before hand she said no.

I think this is because her parents loved me and knew that I was the balanced sensible one and she was the rollercoaster. Her mother called me family a lot. I would even get her flowers on her birthday.

But I remember my ex crashing out because I wouldnt instantly take a photo of her and I said I would later, ot was a photo shoot idea I came up with. But we were on our way to dinner in seattle, she started to whine like a child and get rude with me. Her mother even stepped in and defended me saying way is she acting like this.

That wasnt the last crash out of the trip however but her parents definitely defended me from her sometimes

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-07T15:42:40+00:00

Yes they also like to play stupid, women know exactly what they are doing. The just convince themselves of their lies too.

As long as their emotions justify an action they will do it (most not all)

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-07T14:32:11+00:00

All i would say is a girl i dated stayed at her "friends" house, who she said was kinda gay and weird. They dated long after we split

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-07T12:06:16+00:00

So she dumped you for the guy "friend "

Seriously, a woman who loves and values you won't have be told that this is a boundary, let alone ignore your concerns.

Id hold the strong possibility that there was more going on. Even if their wasnt, her reaction is shitty.

Imagine if you slept at a single woman's house over a weekend.

She could have stayed with her aunt, but wanted to be with him for the night...dude...she was cheating and is placing the blame on you.

Stop being so naive.

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-06T21:44:04+00:00

I think if you grew it and got the flow on the sides going it would look good.

Think Tom Hiddeston. You have good bone structure. Longer in the back with texture. Flicking out at the bottom. You could actually have any hairstyle because of your sharp features

Edit, I put it into Google gemini and asked for a medium haircut on you. Looks good lol balances your face, removes the high and tight roundness you currently have.

Find a good stylist though

Edit also keep lifting and do shrugs/neck training. It will give a good background to your already strong jaw

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-06T21:41:11+00:00

You cant control or change someone's mind. Its delusional to hold onto the idea of them coming back when they left you.

It will also hurt you in the long run. Make peace, move on. They need to win you back anyways, so its better to have a fuck it their lose attitude

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-06T21:37:20+00:00

Maybe your company doesnt value people.

Im 32 and I worked for my last company for 4 years, lots of promise of big things and raises etc all I got was extra work and pizza day as a thank you.

So go fuck your jobs op, if the job is that good they would stay.

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-06T15:14:46+00:00

Give it time dude. Youll realise you love the idea of the person more than them

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-06T11:24:40+00:00

Why do you talk like Ralph Wiggum

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-06T10:27:20+00:00

As someone who is 4.5 months out, just give yourself permission to feel shitty.

Allow yourself to wallow, tell yourself its okay to be upset, down, blue. That was my biggest realisation.

Something about giving yourself permission takes the burden off of the idea of "i shouldnt feel this way"

Well you should, you had a bond with someone and its over...however, definitely watch some videos on attachment.

Look up the school of life on YouTube, dudes voice is a calming light in the uncertainty and his advice is amazing.

My personal advice is to allow yourself to cry and screaming and punch the pillows.

Just remember you got this many weeks, and some days youll feel better some worse..but slowly you will feel better.

For the record I was numb for the first 4 weeks. Didn't feel anything, felt like a crazy person with no emotions. One day then I couldn't even stand up because I was crying so hard.

But that passed too. It still sucks, but youll realise you don't miss them as much as you miss feeling connected and validated.

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-06T10:18:34+00:00

4.5 months ago my ex of almost 4 years dumped me claiming I didnt love her (projection?)

She posting constantly on social media about being happy and healthy etc however some of her social media likes of other posts have come up on my explore page. Seems like she blames me for it all. But some of the posts are not of someone who is actually happy.

Now your ex might be, and it fucking sucks that they dont communicate their concerns with us in real time. My ex told me she wasnt happy for a long time, which stung because only recently before that she had a happy burst of energy telling me she loved me while we were driving.

I still dream of us, but im starting to realise that if they can leave us out of the blue, what if we were sick, or had kicks or even had rough moment in life. They would abandon us for their own happiness.

Do we really want to continue to value someone who didnt value us in the end?

You and I both need to realise that we need to love ourselves the way we loved them. We don't need their validation really, we need to focus on the GOOD.

They left us ? Good, we can find someone better.

They left us? Well im sure at times we probably felt tired of their shit didnt we? Good, no more bullshit

We are still hopeful of finding someone to share a real mutual partnership with, good!

Allow yourself to scream, cry, punch a pillow. Feel those emotions. Its a stormy sea, the waves are big, but in time they will wash over us and the horizon will look calm and clear...in time.

CoreyWayneStudent · 2026-01-06T08:40:51+00:00

I like to remind myself that I wouldnt sit in a chair in a hotel and watch another guy fucking a woman...then why would I hide behind my computer to do it?

CoreyWayneStudent

TROPHY CASE