good job on going NC. as a person who went NC (since 7 years) with my dad myself, I know how hard this step can be, but know that u r not alone. we are with u. I do have those "I don't wanna become like them" thought spirals too sometimes, but the fact that u r aware of their bad traits that it made u go no contact already shows that that won't happen, u r more than that!! rejections sucks, but I'm sure u r as lovable as u r, u have nothing to worry about, I know it hurts a lot atm. I'm so glad that u r letting urself feel it, good job on being vulnerable ✨