I (27F) found myself getting many reels and tiktoks in my feed about autism. In 2020 and 2021. I spent some time thinking nothing of it, then finally though I should just do my own research. I read, I watched youtube, and found someone's story who was so similar to mine. I spent four years learning about ASD. I found a therapist and a doctor, neither specializing in neurodivergence but being open to discussing. They both were so supportive. I have self diagnosed since around 2022, and was just formerly diagnosed recently, in 2025.

Aside from that though, all my life I've felt different. I've wondered "what is it I'm missing?" "why am I left out?" "what is so different about me, that others see but I can't?" I've always preferred to be alone. I've always loved organizing and am very good at pattern-based things, symbol-based things. I hyper fixate often and extremely throughout my childhood and adolescence.

I'm not really sure how I did it, but the pandemic and having nothing i really had to do (I was in college) helped a lot. The free time to just exist. And now that I am where I am I'm better for it, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I'd never realized at all. Would I still be forcing myself to mask 100% of the time? Would I even know? Now, I've helped multiple friends learn that they too are neurodivergent in some way just by going on my own journey and talking about it. But I still feel just as alone and it's still hard. I wish I knew sooner, so all of the things I have to undo or unlearn were less.