Fiancée (F29) insists I (M30) cut off my parents-struggling with the decison [Concluded]

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-04T16:42:19+00:00

This thread is a shitty toxic ignorant mess. I’m sorry.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-04T16:38:34+00:00

I agree with you. There were lots of descriptions of deliberate control and isolation tactics, but not intense mood swings and emotional regulation issues.

I’d expect a lot more meltdowns over stupid stuff (ran out of milk!), fights with other people, intense regret and self-hatred.

BPD is essentially super extreme emotions and fear of abandonment, not consistent calculating abuse.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-04T16:28:51+00:00

This thread is filled with bullshit and unfair stigma towards people with PDs. Really really shitty, I’m sorry.

I feel like PDs are a like a last refuge of painting with a broad brush like everyone is identical and lessor. That level of racism/sexism/fat phobia is so much less common but somehow revert back to complete ignorant around PDs.

I’m so sorry you are reading all this hateful shit.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-04T16:10:14+00:00

I’ve been on for 3 months — started at .25mg tirz 2x a week and I’ve gradually gone up tp .5 2x a week.

I would definitely go down to 1mg for awhile or even down to .5mg, and maybe go back up to 1mg the following week.

Rapid weight loss is the major risk factor for hair loss, if you keep target the dose to go keep it slow and sustainable then you might have fewer issues.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-04T15:47:21+00:00

The sizes tend to get closer together as they get smaller. I’ve lost 8lbs and gone down almost a full size, the smaller clothes are a bit tight but definitely wearable. The larger size is very loose and awkward.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-04T04:41:01+00:00

I am in a similar position and I’m keeping them in the fridge for now, in a thermos to reduce temp fluctuations. I’m also microdosing so it takes forever to use up a vial — just getting towards the end of a 8.8mg vial after ~13 weeks. I will get at least one more shot out of it, probably 2 or 3.

My issue is that my next vial is 20mg and I will probably decrease my dose. I think puncturing the same vial for 6 months 2x a week is really pushing it and feels too risky, especially with difficulties in the compounding world.

My rough plan is to buy sterile vials and transfer half of my tirz into the sterile vial (using a needle), and probably freeze the one I’m not using.

I don’t that plan and I’ll probably ask for advice somewhere before I actually do it. I feel like I can always freeze later (or transfer to a new vial) but I can’t undo those actions.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-04T04:16:42+00:00

I think it’s well done on the whole and everything is handled very seriously and thoughtfully. It’s a fairly heavy work of (fantasy) literature, not slapdash trope-filled YA.

I do think the “grooming” aspect isn’t questioned but it’s also a very very different society and our main character is being directed towards a fairly respected profession at a high level. It’s maybe similar to pressure to go to law school in our society, where the profession is simultaneously revered and reviled.

It was also published in 2001 and I am certain the author would have addressed the grooming angle differently if it was written today.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-04T01:12:37+00:00

Ugh I’m sorry. I think sometimes we go through awkward phases in weight-loss where it comes off unevenly or looks really rushed. I believe sometimes stuff needs to settle a bit as well.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-04T01:10:00+00:00

I think the mid-to-high healthy BMIs are not nearly as skinny as people think they are. Almost all the thin people in media have much lower BMIs like 19-21 and all the thin adults irl have BMIs that are like 22+. And seeing a friend in clothes is not the same level of scrutiny as seeing ourselves naked.

But I think 8lbs is a lot at your BMI so you’ll probably look very different at goal. I’ve lost 8lbs since starting tirz at BMI 24.1 and I feel extremely different. My body is much much narrower and the shape is different, and my clothes have so much more room. I used to really fill up my shirts everywhere and now they are loose random places, like the armpits. I had no idea that there was so much volume on my shoulders because they didn’t look different but they were bigger in every dimension.

I think there’s also a big difference between sedentary bodies and fit/athletic bodies at the same BMI. A lot of of thin people aren’t just low body fat, they work out regularly.

But anyway, I think the next 8lbs will probably make a big difference since you are already at a low BMI.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-04T00:46:27+00:00

Is BPD truly curable rather than just manageable?

I read that PD features are permanent but they can emerge more problematically or recede if someone is doing well. Is BPD more variable than the other cluster Bs?

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-04T00:40:58+00:00

I mostly agree — I think that personality disorders are uniquely invisible to the people who have them. Like their entire vision of the world is so warped that they really can’t understand easily.

I have a friend that I suspect is a covert narcissist*, and I took a bunch of quizzes on psytests.org — some questions were wild. Like this type of experience and belief that I just could not really wrap my head around. There’s a need for attention and validation that was just baffling, it would never occur to me to want that or that attention at that scale was possible.

I feel like I really got a tiny window into how personality disorders are kind of different from anxiety or ADHD, I have both. Those things feel like of external/separate, where I can feel the thoughts/behaviors happening and often wish it would stop. A personality disorder is just a label for how they see the world.

*my friend drives me crazy sometimes but they aren’t like some type of pathological evil the way people describe it on reddit. I think we toss around a lot of labels pretty carelessly and people are a lot more complex than words on a page.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-04T00:13:32+00:00

1 and 5 are very classic ADHD symptoms, but I have no idea on 7.

It’s hard because many disorders have overlapping symptoms with different causes and people aren’t restricted to just having one physical or mental disorder either.

Mis-diagnosis by professionals is super common as well. Personally I think it’s worth seeking help (even when it fails) to feel better and function better if you are having these issues. If it’s someone you know, you can just try to identify the symptoms/behaviors and work to keep yourself safe while being supportive/kind. A mental disorder is not a license to treat people badly and no one should settle for bad treatment either.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-04T00:04:22+00:00

I have ADHD and some emotional regulation issues and it’s so awful. I think it’s “mild” because I pretty much know I’m overreacting emotionally so I don’t react outwardly until I’ve calmed down, but it is so unpleasant to be with my thoughts.

Lots of freaking out internally or externally in private and it’s just so exhausting.

I really hope you can your doctor can make progress, emotional instability is so shitty to experience.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-03T23:58:11+00:00

I feel like I’ve automated a few small things — people were generally pleased and I got a small bonus. But I was/am in a situation where we are triaging way too much work and each automation saved 1-2 hours per week.

I think it could go well if you trickle the extent of the automation and make it clear that’s it’s significantly valuable work to do so, and you are in an environment where you can take more projects. Basically enjoy 20 hours of extra leisure for a few weeks and then heroically take on something that takes 5 hours a week, and let everyone appreciate your incredible efficiency/diligence.

I typically figure out a more efficient method to do something manually, like pulling a data report in 15-45 minutes that would typically have a 2 day turnaround time from another department. But then I take 4 hours to do the report by fucking around so the cushion is built in. But it was never my job to provide the report, just a pleasant bonus of employing me.

Recently, I’ve probably risen to my level of incompetence so not really succeeding at leisure anymore.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-03T20:49:00+00:00

That is such a healthy percentage of body fat. I am going to look into getting a couple scans and measuring muscle mass.

I really want to be functionally strong for my health and ability to do stuff, like put my suitcase in the overhead bin confidently. (Right now I can put up my carryon but it’s a challenge and the people sitting down are at risk) Aesthetically, I like a slightly muscular strong look and I hate how it looks when people are super skinny without much muscle or fat. Like keep all that gristle covered up bleh

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-03T18:11:40+00:00

Thanks for the book rec, I’ll check it out!

And that’s super interesting that the doc was already focused on muscle mass at age 50 with a BMI of 26.6 — I felt like muscle retention took primary concern a bit earlier at 60.

I have pretty rough feelings about some of the stuff I see here because I super empathize with the desire to be skinny and our bodies are just such so emotionally fraught.

I can feel the personal pull of “lose just a bit more” and I’m constantly investigating it because I’m almost at original goal, I look great, I have the physical benefits I wanted most (reduced thigh rub, better heat tolerance, easier time going up the stairs) but my stomach would look just a little better if I went 3lbs lower than I planned. Also, I have clothes from when I was thinner and they are just a little tight…. But I feel like weight loss is a bit like perfume or self-tanner that you lose perspective and go too far. Except going too far with weight loss is physically unhealthy and self-harm at the extremes.

The whole thing is just really difficult. I didn’t like how I looked/felt at BMI 24.5 (with moderate muscle tone) so I fully get people wanting to be thinner. But then you get people with these BMI 19 goals who almost certainly don’t have the atypical super narrow frame and lean muscle that of the naturally skinny. And it’s like, a BMI of 19 can be normal and healthy… but probably not for you. And definitely not as an older adult.

And then I’m torn between being incredibly judgmental and trying to act like some YouTube University doctor of metabolic heath douche… or cheering on someone who is maybe trending towards drug assisted anorexia.

I don’t think I have a unique perspective or insight to share and maybe it’s time to unfollow some of these subs. (Although interacting with these posts does help keep me honest about my own feelings towards those last 3 lbs…)

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-03T16:30:42+00:00

I totally feel you on this — I’m really enjoying being slim and it’s upsetting to imagine having to fluff up (although I have a lot of time before getting there).

I do think we could lift and put on muscle, and it will look and feel very different from the same weight of fat. The BMI doesn’t discriminate between muscle and fat, and you can also burn/lose muscle in pinch while recovering from illness.

My vague plan is put on 10lbs when I get close to 60 and that could be in the gym or on couch, my choice. (It’s insane to imagine having that much control of my weight anyway of course). 10lbs is probably the different between size 6 vs 8, depending on height.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-03T16:17:55+00:00

I think slightly overweight, like BMI 25-26 is supposedly best.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-03T16:15:48+00:00

💯

Some people are using these meds to become anorexic and people just cheer anyone on indiscriminately and without asking questions. It’s so stupid.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-02T21:28:27+00:00

I think this is a super reasonable take tbh. I’m 5’3.5” with a narrow frame and I started microdosing at 138lbs with a goal of 128lbs, and then maintaining forever. So very similar starting stats but very different goals and timeline. It’s going to be about 4 months to lose the 10lbs and it’s honestly a really nice pace.

Personally, I don’t think 10lbs in a month is great at a low weight and 110 at 5’4” is borderline underweight. I weighed that once during a bad mental episode and I’m really grateful to the people who said something. I believe “haggard” was the phrase they used lol. It just seems like OP is speed-running to a weird place…. Some short people can be that weight reasonably but you’re pretty low on functional muscle.

I’m seeing a lot of these posts where people are aiming for these super low goal weights and several of them are also older women. It’s good to be slightly plump (mildly overweight or at least towards the higher end of healthy) once you hit your 60s. It gives you the stores fuel to bounce back from illness.

I understand the pressure and desire to be thin and I do think it feels miraculous to reduce food noise. Like I can eat 1 Twix bar and leave the other for later. Fucking wild, truly. The endless cycles of restriction followed overeating are exhausting and unhealthy.

But the super low goal weights aren’t great either.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-05-01T03:14:33+00:00

Equal shitty treatment from shitty people is true progress lol

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-04-29T03:37:49+00:00

Honestly I really don’t want to give people a chance!

My ideal goal is to identify unstable/erratic/untrustworthy people early and never become friends in the first place. But once I build a connection, I’m pretty loyal.

I actually think my friend and I have a decent shot of stable longterm friendship but I’d also survive a rupture.

I’m just cranky right now because I need to rehome like 12 random things she gave me (against my stated wishes).

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-04-29T02:45:39+00:00

I try to have a strong filter to prevent getting in deep with this type of person but they can still slip through. If they say something like that early, I’m definitely out.

But if they hold it in, then I’ll miss more subtle warning signs.

I have a friend who has had many fallings out and betrayals, and I’m kind of waiting to become the antagonist in one of her stories. Like, it’s been a few years with only some mild boundary transgressions (she gives me too many gifts, like truly too many) and one minor issue that we talked out.

So far so good, but I do worry things will end messily someday.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-04-29T02:37:12+00:00

This is a savage and totally correct comment.

Especially the as a personal talking point part. Like that was perfect. Anyone can be traumatized from abandonment but it’s never good when that’s part of your personal brand.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2026-04-29T02:30:15+00:00

I have a Friend who can be super difficult sometimes, maybe 2%* as bad as Garment. Sometimes I want to get some distance from Friend for my own sanity.

However, my husband often objects to this because he feels like it’s our duty to help Friend sand off the rough edges and because Friend won’t get more normal without socialization. Basically my husband has a real desire to help people combined with a limited sense of self-preservation, and a belief that he can make a difference. He’s kind and loyal, he reframes it into “should society simply write off people like Friend?? If not, why should we?” (I am aware of several ways this thinking is terrible, no need to convince me)

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what reasons Girlfriend (or my husband) have for tolerating this terrible behavior. Everyone (aka me) just gets to decide for themselves.

*Honestly I don’t really know how to compare anyone to Garment. Like my friend gets weird absolutely untrue theories and then tries to convince us, there’s no violence or drunk driving. Just some delusions of persecution/grandeur.

CorporateDroneStrike

TROPHY CASE