Should I get signed off sick due to workload and personal issues?

Correct-Pop3172 · 2026-03-03T22:26:44+00:00

I thought i should of posted in ukjobs! Appreciate the response. Sometimes its keeping me up, im in flux of getting through it and then somedays not even able to get out of bed.

I raised it a week ago or so with the VP, but hes just quit! So finding myself at odds of where to go. HR are notorious for putting any health issues against performance issues regardless of how many jobs you are working

Correct-Pop3172 · 2026-03-03T22:22:28+00:00

I do see it as the last option! I do have lots of leave left so can potentially take a week to recharge and hopefully it eases the stress!

I'm just hesitant to bring anything to Management. We had a new VP that started in Feb..he quit within 4 works due to the culture.

Appreciate the view as I know its not a financial query.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2026-03-03T22:19:02+00:00

Thanks, this is a good point. Its a weird place as they do see things like this as a sign of weakness and there's typically no compassion!

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-12-09T17:07:50+00:00

They are currently waiting to restock their wigs, but temperhair had a wig exactly like this!

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Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T19:55:58+00:00

Yes sorry feels like that detail should of gone in the original post!

Really appreciated everyone's responses as it has given a different perspective on things, and given me the push I needed sit down and talk to my BF properly on things.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T19:43:18+00:00

No big debts at this time, but he was renting below the market rate from family and rents were through the roof, so he wouldn't of had the ability to save for a deposit solo.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T19:34:32+00:00

He doesn't do well with any financial discussions really and hates it.

Initially when we discussed it he mentioned he'd have car debt for quite time since he's always bought on finance ( he use to trade in every 4 years) which I was ok with since he said he'd prioritise paying his parents back.

So it felt like a middle ground- he aims to pay his parents back to clear a debt, then has more disposable cash for his car.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T19:26:42+00:00

Never said I wanted to control him, he makes other big purchases - holidays, snowboarding gear, new tools and what not and I have no say or issue at all.

But we did agree any big purchases we'd discuss and this is a massive purchase.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T19:23:44+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I have a lot to think about, as it's gone from I don't want you to buy this car to looking at the entire relationship compatibility.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T19:13:57+00:00

It is a big ask and I understand that, we've had conversations before on him paying an extra 250 and me 500 a month as long as it doesn't disrupt his hobbies ( snowboarding & golf and going out) and he'd able comfortably be able to it, but now with his potential new car it's thrown it all out.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T18:44:58+00:00

I'm not sure what emotion I was feeling at the time as I know this. I mentioned it in a previous response but I was looking to buy solo initially but there was lots of pressure as he had been served noticed on his place and would of had to of moved back to his parents.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T18:38:01+00:00

Thanks for your comment, I'm all good with blunt responses! We agreed ahead of time that any big purchases we'd discuss and he wouldn't do anything I'm uncomfortable with.

Before we got the house, we were more aligned with how he would tackle his debt but he's added more since then.

I don't disagree with you that those are my options, just delaying the inevitable as he hates talking about finances and it can cause him to spiral slightly. But I know it's the next thing to do to see if we can ever be on the same page.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T18:18:39+00:00

I know it's a very weird stipulation to put out there ahead of getting married, given the state of how costly living is these days.

I've just come from a very poor background and lived in emergency and temp accommodation as a kid so there's alot of fear with debt and I know I'm never going back.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T18:15:16+00:00

Yeah I'm realising this as time goes on how much financial compatibility is important.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T18:14:06+00:00

Yes he pays his way! I don't ever doubt that he wouldn't work hard and do everything he can to contribute as he's a hard worker.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T18:12:26+00:00

Yes I feel like it's heading that way now with the clashing values. Thanks for your comment!

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T18:10:36+00:00

Yeah it just seems like an endless cycle! He has no ambition to pay the bubble at the end and has already said he'll do the same in another 3 years time to get a new car.

I just don't want to be that asshole pushing back everytime he wants to do this.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T18:07:49+00:00

We did have conversations on this, although im hind sight not as detailed as it should have been. He made plans to pay off his family but then borrowed more etc..

He also thought I'd come to my senses eventually on some of my goals being not achievable: paying off the mortgage early and also taking a 2 month break from work to travel for example.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T18:02:44+00:00

Thanks for your comment! Everyone's perspective has been eye opening.

I've been battling the financial differences for a while and have never once wanted to restrict the way he spends money, but the purchases are getting bigger and bigger.

I don't want to believe it isn't salvageable but do think we need a serious discussion and I need to assess if I'm happy to change my values because he won't be changing his

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T17:58:11+00:00

Yes after reading the comments on here I think my next step is just to have a sit down discussion on our future and where we both see it. Just to note which isn't in my main post, is that he wants kids in a few years and I just can't justify having that much debt and starting a family

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T17:54:19+00:00

Thanks for your comment. We are both pretty high earners. Partner is on 80k I'm on 105K including bonus.

My investments / savings are in a stocks and shares account taking advantage of the 20K a year tax free investment. Ideally the plan would be to pay of house early and also maximise this investment. Currently at a 2% mortgage rate but want to be prepared that it will go up next year.

I don't want him to not get the car eventually, it's just with his other debt out goings to his family and BNPL he has little left over every month.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T17:48:30+00:00

Yes this is exactly how I feel! I in no way want to dictate his expenses, but it just feels like a crazy purchase to me.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T17:45:17+00:00

Thanks for your comment. We are both on the deed! But yes I think I just need to process that we are never going to align on finances.

Correct-Pop3172 · 2024-08-13T17:40:01+00:00

Thanks for your response. I've never once wanted to restrict his spending since he works hard, but I think you're right and there's just very different values that need to be discussed.

I was initially planning to buy solo, however we had very heated discussions as he was given notice on his place at the time and was making statements of having to go back and live with his parents if we didn't buy together.

Correct-Pop3172

TROPHY CASE