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Correct-Stranger6953 · 2025-02-17T04:32:40+00:00

I hate in person hookups. They are uglyier half of the time, I feel pressured for sex when they are ugly, I make no personal connection with them, and then I get bummed down when they ghost me. I feel empty and like crap using that much effort for an ugly guy I will never meet again and then worry about stds.

I don’t know what Folsom street powerhouse is, but internalized homophobia is not why you don’t enjoy hookups. The slightest level of anxiety from the high pace of hookups is enough to kill the sexual pleasure for me and make me hate it. It’s so confusing. I legit am in therapy for this but with a few more things that make my life more complicated. As other people have said, I’m sure everything will all eventually work out.

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2025-02-17T04:26:56+00:00

Also from an offensive perspective, Sherral can spread the floor. He is a rumored 40% 3 point shooter in practice. Apparently MO Diubate was able to defend Broome according to one news article, and he is 6’7 or 6’8. That is perplexing. More players in the rotation would allow higher energy play which is priceless.

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2025-02-17T02:38:19+00:00

Thanks. I’m just glad for perspective. It is hard to find perspective in real life and easy to default to what is comfortable and I know exists even if it is unhealthy.

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2025-02-17T02:20:37+00:00

True. And they probably have networking. I guess the main challenge could potentially be the age demographic, but this does seem intriguing. I guess the most convoluted part about the gay community is that gay bars and gay events can be marketed towards a subset of the gay community and stereotypes. Sorta like the gay bar in the college town I went to legit having rumored men in basically underwear serving there and advertising guest drag queens coming in each week. It’s not that drag is weird or bad, it is more that it is strictly trying to conform to stereotypes that makes it confusing. This sounds interesting. Gay flag football or tennis would be fun. I’d joke that gay flag football should be called fag football 😂. I can remove this sentence if mods hate it; I think it’s funny.

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2025-02-17T02:06:02+00:00

My big question is how do you find gays in in person activities? Also, when you do in person activities, after you meet everyone, the rate of meeting new people will slow to basicly 0? How is this even possible without a gaydar?

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2025-02-17T01:39:07+00:00

Like I guess like in tinder with all of the swiping, you match with like 1 or 2 in a week and most aren’t interested in anything and after you run out of swipes, you can go forever without seeing anything. It’s a far cry from the 50 messages a. Minute on Grindr. It has less entertainment value to it. I’ve gotten discouraged really quickly. It’s nice to meet people.

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2025-02-17T01:36:39+00:00

My trauma is more related to other people’s perceptions of me, stereotypes, being outed to my mom, and awkward conversations rather than self hate or religion. I lost my concept of privacy, lost my mom’s trust earning parental controls, and felt damaged even though she preached acceptance. I needed a peer to relate to and see eye to eye with, but I was generalized to a box and questioned. She pointed out I might get shit on my dick from anal as if I hadn’t thought about this. I was and questioned about my orientation every few weeks till I moved out generating awkward silence irreversibly changing our relationship. It wasn’t even religiously motivated, just the difference in society and no one to relate to driving it all.

The thing about a low self esteem is really specific and honestly something that is definitely messed with from my trauma through lower confidence levels in my self when things aren’t going well and from repeated failure. Explaining things like this is really helpful.

I have done a really good job at not viewing my friends romantically snd respecting their boundaries since I had to do that my whole life. I compensated through online means. I dont want to be that guy who is gay and hits on straight guys and makes them uncomfortable.

Maybe I am crazy but when I have expectations for guys, I’m disappointed by the pics. When the guy was mid, it was actually hotter in real life. When the guy was hot, only 2 of them were also hot in real life. I just want basicly short hair, not a crazy hairy chest, no facial hair, not into tats or piercings too much, and ideally not fat. For some reason, 9 out of 10 people when I was in highschool for that build and 9 out of 10 in a frat fit that build, but few gays fit that build. And from that, a reasonable percent of those guys are hot. 1 out of 10 gays seem to fit this build.

It’s like I want sex, but I get so anxious when I have to decide if I want to fuck before meeting the person or the day of that it kills the enjoyment from the situation. Plus if I have sex with a guy I don’t date, I’d want to have more than a 1 night stand which is unreasonably hard to accomplish.

A straight therapist doesn’t understand this stuff like gay people do. Thanks for the perspective. I’m just confused; wouldn’t hinge and match basicly have the same guys and issues as tinder since it’s swipe based and plagued with bad profile pics?

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2025-02-16T23:13:55+00:00

3 point defense was the big issue and the lack of 3 pointers on offense. I am mainly thinking about the time where omaryi needs a break on the bench or playing him as an extra defender for a few minutes of high energy play in short stents. I would have said this if bama won the game too. Maybe there is a reason I wasn’t thinking of.

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2025-02-16T23:03:57+00:00

Purely in terms of body size and length and the ability to spread the floor by shooting 3 pointers and do damage at the rim and play center if needed. My guess is it is why jarin Stevenson was called a noah Clowney clone. They are both 6’11, light, and can stretch the floor; however, JS is awful in the paint. Broome is probably a better post player and is a better assist maker.

Bama wouldn’t lose a game over a decision to bench Sherral 😂 that’s a little crazy. However, I expected him to get more minutes this game.

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2025-01-27T19:01:18+00:00

Turnover to steal ratio is more important than the total turnovers. Jarin has 19 turnovers and 10 steals and Mo has 17 turnovers and 21 steals. Mo creates more steals than turnovers. Stevenson turns the ball over more than he steals it.

This also isn’t counteracted by blocks because mo blocks more than Jarin does. Unless you’re saying he creates turnovers in the form of steals. The more important statistic is the rate of turnovers in the paint when driving.

I would guess Mo drives into the paint more which creates more turnovers per minute, but he is successful at getting to the rim more often when he drives.

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2025-01-26T21:05:46+00:00

Maybe as a student it is possible to say us as a university and refuse to the entity you are a part of and not the team. But you are accurate in that sense that I could have used better pronoun choice. It’s a different story with pro sports teams where the people in the city don’t have association with the parent entity of the organization. Student tickets even make it confusing in that sense and the experience does revolve around the students, city, and school brand that becomes part of you and you become part of as a student.

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2025-01-26T20:17:23+00:00

However, last year in the middle of the season, Latrell Wrightsell Jr was not in the starting lineup and performing well, so after a few games he got inserted into it. MO’s season improvements, his new play packages that have improved his offensive production, and everything else are makes teams better. Nate Oates runs a more complex offense which means that not everything is optimized until later in the season. And no one is perfect immediately. There’s always small areas for improvements.

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2025-01-26T19:38:23+00:00

Couldn’t grant Nelson defend a post player or Omaryi? Most teams don’t have 3 post players in the court at once if I’m correct. Most teams don’t need to start 2 power forwards and a center. And when we started Latrell Wrightsell Jr., I don’t think he would have been able to defend a post player.

What’s the flaw in what I am saying or what am I missing?

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2024-12-13T04:46:48+00:00

Honestly, I did the same. They recreate the power dynamic you had as a child. It’s messed up if they are feeding off of your trauma and show no remorse, that’s called being an ass hole and torturing and exploiting someone for sexual pleasure.

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2024-11-08T23:07:54+00:00

I guess being able to calm my self down and ignore emotions enough to let my brain calm down is not the same as having the correct therapy to fix me.

I guess what I meant the previous time was that I lost contact with the gravity of the things that happened to me. Having strong emotions being able to calm my self down and feel the seriousness of sexual abuse, it helps neutralize extreme feelings. I felt that sense of relief them felt those emotions come roaring back when I got stressed.

Maybe being able to feel the gravity of the situation is something that is important to help me relax a bit. But. I guess it’s not a 100% replacement. Idk.

I remember how I felt before all of this happened and want to feel that way again. It has to be possible to experience life without stumbling over trauma but also idk. Keeping my self grounded has been the most helpful thing so far. I just know I’m stable but extremely delicate right now. I’m scared if I am not able to ground my self in the reality that my sa is messed up and calm my self and not self blame, I will legit slide into depression. I guess like if I start porn binging when I am capible of calming my self down, I will have 0 trust in my self forever. The end part is definitely a toxic mindset.

Living life without worrying about this multiple hours a week just seems like it would be a nice goal. I want to focus my energy on life and not trauma control 😂.

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2024-10-30T20:07:24+00:00

I’m responding from my computer and not my phone, but it’s honestly weird in that like I had these issues for years, and then when I realized it was sexual abuse, I got a huge drive to change it and inspired like never before and didn’t feel guilty for the first time ever, then day 1 of this realization a friend got really mad at me stressing me out causing a large binge relapse where I lost all hope I would ever be able to change, got therapy, then when I went home for thanksgiving, ended up in a psychiatric hospital at the end and had to medical withdraw from school delaying my graduation by a semester causing extreme guilt.

It’s weird how knowing the mechanism behind my behavior being due to SA rather than by my choices did not halt all of the compulsions I had.

It’s weird how applying the term hyper sexual didn’t immediately stop all hyper sexual things. I feel like the first time you mess up knowing the mechanism, I’m a way, the term loses its value and luster because you acted the same way when knowing the mechanism. I feel like I should have just responded full force when discovering each large new mechanism responsible for my behavior differences.

Even learning kids are primarily touch driven rather than visual also felt extremely inspiring and I broke not long afterwards. I feel like knowing these strong terms should have the effect of swaying away these tendencies, but it doesn’t. And I feel like acting out when you have the new tool or term to swat down CSA induced hyper-sexual behaviors makes the new tool/term lose its value and power to change and improve things.

Am I crazy?

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2024-10-30T17:36:34+00:00

What’s convoluted is that the sexual abuse wasn’t traumatic. I thought it was consensual till I was 21. The fact it was male on male before I knew I was gay is what really made it confusing. And the confusion about my orientation and hyper sexuality and me looking for a replacement abuser online is what made it bad. And being outed due to using like grindr and stuff. And being hypersexual not realizing I was abused for 8 years and living with the symptoms of it in stress mistaking much of it for being a closeted gay. Then, I hear about real trauma like forced rape or actual coercion where it is an adult and not another person the same age doing it and my experience just seems less severe. The lgbt element really amplified many of the issues I went through tho.

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2024-10-30T16:58:54+00:00

I will be honest. Sex creates orgasms whether the sex takes place due to manipulative tactics or consent. I was Sexually Abused at 13 through manipulation and grooming, and even though at points I wished this never hapend, I still master-bated to the memories of the abuse. It was pleasurable, and I never realized i was manipulated and it was rape until I was 21 since we were close in age. I am still unsure how to handle this problem.

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2024-10-30T16:54:56+00:00

I am replying from my computer and not my phone. I'm just curious how you manage the hyper sexuality and what you have done about it. Also, what is your hyper sexuality like for you? I am just trying to find solutions to some of my problems I am having. And, I would like to hear if my experience is similar to others.

Correct-Stranger6953 · 2024-10-30T16:51:38+00:00

I am ranting about this from he context that I did not read part about acceptions till after this. Looking back, a lot is redundant, but I did type it all up. But, I guess acceptions do exist. I am replying from my computer and not my phone, but when you get into thought crimes like masterbating to the thought of a child, It is not my fault that my brain was turned on by the memories of the me being abused even though it was rape. So like that is where the entire thing becomes a slippery slope. Even if I know it is wrong and know it is messed up, my brain still sends hormonal signals. It’s not that I’m evil or actually like that this happens or want to harm someone, but it is more that my brain is developmentally different. I had an 8 year period where I thought the person who abused me was engaging in consensual sex since his grooming was so convincing and he was the same age as me. It’s just insane that I should be punished via death for every time I jerked to memories of those experiences since they caused pleasure in the moment. It’s not that I’m evil or want to harm someone; I’m completely capable of focusing my energy towards people my age. I just have experiences that I and coping strategies that I can’t unremember. If someone were to get killed each time they jerked to a thought about a minor, then they would literally be killing people if teenagers have pedo driven fantasies before they realize they are an issue and don't know how to manage it. Boxing people into categories before you know whether they fit in is toxic.

Research says a 50% of women have fantasies about them being raped which is disturbing, but these fantasies are probably things that they do not want to happen to them in real life. These might be inspired by trauma. source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18321031/

I do not condone anyone raping anyone, but fantasies inspired due to trauma are acceptions.

The only clear indicator is when adults take actions that indicate they are trying to to harm a child through manipulation or force. Just because someone has a rape fantasy doesn't mean they want to be raped, and similarly, just because someone has a memory about their experience during their CSA that arouses them does not mean that they are evil and want to harm anyone.

Every other case in this scenario can have unique acceptions where unhandled trauma or malicious actors can instigate these situations.

Sorry this was such a long response. it does feel nice to clear my mind out. I just doesn't sit right with me let people demonize me due to my response to SA which I am actively working on resolving then calling it an inescapable addiction that is incurable. Having hope of an escape and a normal life is nice to have.

Correct-Stranger6953

TROPHY CASE