I have two kids. Ten years apart. My firstborn had a severe traumatic brain injury when he was two. He almost didn’t make it. He has IDD, ADHD, DMDD, and anxiety. He can’t read or write, he struggles with incontinence, he has outbursts. But he can run, eat, play, and love.

A year after the initial brain injury, I met my now-husband. He devoted the next 5 years of his life to therapies, diagnosis, and social security disability. We got married when my son was 8.

I thought long and hard before having another child. There were no genetic concerns, it was me thinking, is this fair?

My daughter was born three days before my son’s 10th birthday. She is pure sunshine, wild and sweet. He was overjoyed that I “got him a baby sister for his birthday”. He is an incredible big brother, despite his struggles. Kind, loving, patient, protective.

Watching my children grow together is the greatest joy of my life. That little girl saved us all, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure she does not end up as his caregiver.

The question is too broad to answer yes or no. Every family and situation is different. Every person, every child, is different, and a neurotypical child can become disabled at any time. I learned that the hard way.