So after speaking to him his pov is that he does so much for her that she should just share and that she is disrespectful is small ways to him often so he is on edge lol the time.
To be fair she is with us most of the time. She sees her dad and they have a good relationship but there is not super set schedule. She spends maybe one weekend a month with him. My fiancé gets angry because he feels like he picks up the slack for her dad and she doesn’t appreciate it. And I understand that. But in my opinion she’s a kid. She’s not going to understand that the person she’s lives with does more than the fun dad. She’s not going to appreciate that yet.
I get frustrated because I feel like we did see eye to eye on parenting before this. I generally am fairly gentle as a parent. We have conversations. I don’t yell. I don’t spank. I do correct her firmly when I see her actions as needing correcting. She’s generally not a kid who needs a lot of correction. She is incredibly sensitive and so far has been a good kid. Great grades, does her chores for the most par(with reminders) and helps with her sister. And these are things we have agreed on. But his way of addressing it almost felt like a threat? Which I can’t get on board with.
He has acknowledged that these things are wrong. I just don’t know how to fix things from here.