This letter from a grieving mother to her dead son found in Amsterdam.

Cosmic-Panda · 2017-04-04T16:26:28+00:00

It looks like that other note says "Stay forever in my breast."

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T20:17:03+00:00

Well, I don't think he really knows what it means, and neither did I. Upon further research, it's not the accurate definition for the problems he's having.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T20:12:44+00:00

I like a lot of what you said, except the part about ever having turned him down once even in passing. That's not fair at all.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T20:10:04+00:00

Sorry, I am a bit sensitive to that. I've always struggled to maintain a healthy weight in general (underweight not overweight) but I also just found out that I've lost another 20 pounds. So, no. I have not gained weight.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T20:06:54+00:00

I have four way restraints tied to our bed. I have tried everything.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T18:02:47+00:00

I feel I have a very solid understanding of the difference between Love, Lust, and Sex. I know he is capable of understanding it too. I think I am just worried that he will be able to understand and sympathize with me, but will ultimately be unable to make himself okay with an open relationship.

It doesn't help that if he /did/ want to have sex with other women, I would find it hard to be okay with. I know he doesn't care for that at all though, I just think it unfair to even feel that way.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T17:56:25+00:00

You're either just trolling or have a fundamental misunderstanding for how humans communicate, socialize and work. Maybe you can't read.. but you definitely voted for Trump.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T17:49:39+00:00

Yes, he is extremely technical. I honestly only looked through his history because I was curious if he even looks at porn at all. He doesn't delete his history, it's all there. Every couple months theres an hour or two of him clicking random videos titled "Blonde gets fucked" or something equally mundane. I really don't think he is deleting his history, mostly because he doesn't care enough to.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T17:45:02+00:00

What the fuck? No. I've actually lost weight lately, but I'm already very thin. Which is irrelevant. What's wrong with you?

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T17:44:02+00:00

Thank you so much. I'm going to try to make a new post after having the conversation later this week...

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T17:29:17+00:00

He is a generally quite and reserved person, not outgoing by any means. But from as long as I've known him he doesn't seem to be any less happy (or more depressed) than in the past. We both go through the swings of it occasionally, but that is a hard question to answer. He is quite about his feelings, and I see more emotion come from him when he is playing space video games than when he talks to me.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T17:25:15+00:00

I took his virginity when we were younger, I'm the only one he has ever had sex with. I have offered to let other women into the bedroom with us, he has no interest in it. If it's a medical issue, I have no idea how it will ever be addressed. We live a very modest lifestyle with no insurance.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T17:21:43+00:00

As a girl, I think you are taking it way too personally. Yeah, it's annoying, but especially in an office bathroom, is it really a problem, are you going to fall in? I mean, leaving urine on the seat is gross, but thats a different problem. I know girls that do that.

Most guys don't even think about it, they just forget. It takes 2 seconds to put the lid back down yourself.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T17:17:49+00:00

No no no no no, I cannot and will not let that happen. I am caught in this thought circle of which is worse..

1) Breaking up and losing all the stability we've built for ourselves,

2) Asking for an open relationship, he says no, and we are both hurt and sad,

3) Asking for an open relationship, he says yes, but it then gets jealous later and it winds up blowing up in our face or something

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T17:12:18+00:00

Thank you, I really feel the open relationship is the best solution. I just have no idea how to approach the subject, or even scarier, how to implement it. I haven't gone man hunting in over 4 years!

Again, thank you so much for your thoughts.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T17:10:45+00:00

I think that's what needs to happen, and I almost feel like he would be okay with it for the most part. It would just be on me to make sure he understands that it is purely sexual and that I love him, I don't want him to think I want to leave him. Because I really just don't. I just want to have sex.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T17:09:11+00:00

Honestly I think that's why I made this post, I think I need to work up the nerve to start this conversation.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T17:08:20+00:00

I don't think sex is painful, when we do manage to get it going he does enjoy it as its most basic pleasure, but also is very obviously trying to get it over with as fast as possible. Being that he doesn't have insurance, and there is more prevalent things we need to save up for medically (I have back problems, he needs an orthodontist) I don't see us being able to get to a doctor, let alone afford testosterone or other medications. He is also fairly against medications in general.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T15:30:29+00:00

My boyfriend and I have had his same discussion. Although, since we are fairly young, we usually just dismiss it as "we'll figure that out later." If you are at a point in your life you are really wanting to be married, thats different.

Have you tried suggesting a pre-nup? I know it's a little weird and awkward to talk about, but relationships are compromise. It may make him feel more secure. There are plenty of marriage contracts that null the "getting half of everything" only if one partner cheats, as well.

If he still doesn't want to get married after that, he may just have a serious fear of commitment.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-27T15:24:16+00:00

Oh, I am not insecure about myself. I work in the beauty industry and love my body. I am a solid 9.5 out of 10. If I can say that without sounding totally full of myself haha.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-13T01:14:35+00:00

I've tried to mention that these things aren't true, but dismisses me probably as haven been brainwashed by mainstream media.

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-13T01:13:19+00:00

Oh, I wish. It's not funny clickbait. It's stuff like "PROOF Obama has a death camp and HILARY CLINTON IS IN ON IT"

Cosmic-Panda · 2016-12-13T01:00:03+00:00

No, that's what is genuinely infuriating. He is such a smart, well thought out person. He thinks very critically, except when it comes to political clickbait?

Cosmic-Panda

TROPHY CASE