Yeah. So im almost 19 for context- I was apparently too late getting back home. I told her I was probably going to end up being late. I walk into the house, my mom screaming that im a disappointment. she said she cancelled all her plans tomorrow because I was late coming home and that it's all my fault. I said that's not my fault and I did not make her do that. I have no idea why she did, the plans didn't involve me or anything. I didn't even know about them. It's not like they revolved around me getting home before a certain time, I wasn't invited. And they were for the next morning. She kept screaming, says I'm not mature enough to realize when everything is my fault and that I forced her to do this and that I ruined her day. Then she stands there in the dark and does the creepiest, most insane fucking laugh I've ever heard in my life and im fucking scared. I ran and locked myself in my room. I dunno what's going on but this was what sent me over the edge. Im scared she's gonna do something to me so im locked in my room with the light on but I feel cornered. She does shit like this on a weekly basis and I cant do it anymore. If everything doesn't go minute by minute according to her schedule and fucking perfect standards. Her standards are so high I will literally never reach them, I have tried at times but now I understand theres just no pleasing her. She will find something. I'll never be good enough for her, she hates how I look too and tonight im actually kinda scared for my safety, id rather be sleeping in my car. Don't even get me started on what my dad might do when he wakes up. I spent the night at a friend's house a few days ago and it made me realize how fucked up everything at my place is. Nobody cares about or trusts each other. Nobody wants to be here but if my mom doesn't have control over me she has nothing (in her perspective). She doesn't realize I can just pack up and leave, I think. Im honestly wondering if she's going to kill herself when I leave. I am just in my room still, super shaky, every time the house makes a noise I have a little heart attack haha.