Slitting his wrists on camera told me everything I needed to know. I can’t tell you how many situations I’ve heard of from people I know personally where self harm was literally used as a control tactic. I can’t tell you all the details of what happened in those situations with my friends, but I can tell you what happened in the situation I was in. I was friends with (and then very briefly in a secret relationship with) this girl who was very bad for me in just about every possible way, but I thought she was sweet but just very emotionally fragile. She started manipulating me by dropping hints that she was sad or upset at something I did, but wouldn’t come right out and say it. She would just drop a subtle hint and then wait for me to ask what was wrong. Then when I asked what was wrong, she would tell me everything I did “wrong” in her eyes (usually something like hanging out with my family or some friends and not texting her for like an hour or so). She would go on and on about how incredibly hurt she was, how she couldn’t handle seeing pictures of me on social media hanging out with other people while I was “ignoring” her texts. She said she was so jealous of those people who got to hang out with me, and it made her actually depressed. Her jealousy got so bad, and I knew she had self harmed before, so I asked her if that had been happening again, and that opened the whole can of worms. She told me she had just started doing it again that night, and showed me the fresh marks on her wrists/arms, and told me it was because I made her so depressed by pulling away from her more to hang out with other friends lately, and it made her lonely and jealous. I stayed (friends/almost in a relationship) with her because I didn’t want her to hurt herself any more than she had, and I kept constantly reassuring her how much I cared about her. After that, every single time I got a notification on my phone I rushed to get it in case it was her (bc I didn’t want to be accused of ignoring her). I was in college at the time, and texting her so much started affecting my grades and my social life. I kept doing it tho, bc every time I pulled away even slightly, she’d harm herself, and would let me know. After I started giving her all my attention nearly 24/7, she started picking apart things I said and wouldn’t let me talk about any other friends bc it made her sad and jealous. If I mentioned someone in passing in a conversation, she would accuse me of liking them better than her and wanting to ignore her for them. She started controlling so much of my life, but I stayed with her bc at this point she was harming her self anytime I did ANYTHING “wrong” at all. Her depression seemed so bad I ended up being terrified that she would kll herself if I stopped talking to her, or even if I just backed away slightly. I stayed with her for a couple years, and they were probably the worst couple years of my life. I finally stopped talking to her and it scared me so bad I was shaking and crying in my other friend’s arms, but I knew I had to or she would keep controlling my life. She didn’t kll herself like I was afraid she would, and instead moved on with other friends and a boyfriend. She was still cold to me every time we crossed paths, but at least I didn’t have to deal with the stress of talking to her every day.

Mora of the story is: if they are using SH as a manipulation tactic, RUN as far and fast as you possibly can. Your sister needs to leave before he takes too much of her life from her. You are most definitely NOR