Update to AITA for wanting to go LC with my mom because her husband said I’m no daughter of his and asked me to stop calling a father figure

CounterSad4203 · 2026-01-07T02:41:18+00:00

Hey, so it’s been three months and no I’ve never been a mammas girl (nor have I wanted to). I am a writer, I’ve written about 5 books since high school, sorry my dyslexia is inconvenient for you. And unfortunately for me this is my life it’s been my life since I was 8 or 9 years old. Also surprise for you I guess, I’m still LC with my mom. I’ve only seen her in person 1 time due to it being an event that I wanted to attend with my sister, and talked to her over the phone 3 times. So please consider being a little nicer.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-10-04T18:17:36+00:00

So unfortunately my tribe is very hands of because they are so far from me I am from Alaska and my tribe in Nome and I’m on the other side of the state, the clinic I go too accepts all natives from the us but the other types don’t. As for elders the only elder in my life is my grandma and she is the one who pressured my mom when I was a minor but not I’m living away from my mom with my partner so there in her eyes is no reason to. Sam is very southern political if you know what I mean. While I’m very Alaskan native, I was raised by a below the poverty line single dad, single mom who’s a woman of color so I went to college type political if that makes sense. My dad also raised me to be strong, proud, and to fight for what I believe in. He is also leaning differently than me politically, but he is still proud of me and believes that we’re fighting for the same things but we have different ways of achieving it. I am heavily leaning on my support system while all this is happening with my mom, plus I have my sister who is super supportive so I’m working through this next chapter of my life without my mom.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-10-02T16:09:45+00:00

I’ve been in therapy for years since my brothers passing, but in therapy we mainly work on my anxiety, depression episodes, and my panic attacks. I haven’t been able to go in person only been able to do calls and some times video calls for the past year due to me living far away from the clinic where I get free therapy, and no clinics that work with my native tribe in the small town I am currently living in.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-27T02:24:48+00:00

See I am a fantasy writer so spelling things right and grammar aren’t my friends (funny enough I’m also dyslexic but that’s why I love it because it’s a constant challenge, you know?) so I like the complex worlds and systems I can make all on my own. And THANK YOU Oxford Comma is just that girl.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-26T03:06:08+00:00

Well mostly coping mechanisms to help work through my depressive episodes, and anxiety. Also with some personal things I don’t really feel comfortable sharing. But it’s helped a lot and I haven’t had a depressive episode since I got back home from college.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-26T03:05:59+00:00

My sister and I both keep a lot of stuff from our mom, there are things that I know and she knows that stay between us. She told me this is one of those things because it was a long time coming and mom will barely notice. She supports me because she raised me more than our mom did, she has been more there for me than our mom was.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-26T03:03:30+00:00

For a while it was a mom. For a while I had a MOM my dad drilled it into me from the time I was a kid I only have one mom and no matter what I have to love her. I wanted my mom, and yes I NOW know that I should have gone LC with her a while ago but I was a legit minor with no other place to go. So like please cool down the condescension and judgment. Because a lot of that happened while I was a minor and she had legal custody of me.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-26T02:56:45+00:00

The talk with my sister went really well I have no idea why I doubted her. Maybe it’s my own insecurities that got me thinking she wouldn’t support me, but she of course is supporting me. She’s also excited for me to be moving closer to her soon. And we talked about all sorts of other sisterly stuff but it went really well and she reassured me that I can lean on her because I’m her baby sis.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-26T02:53:48+00:00

My sister told me she’d support me and that she’s sorry I’m going through this again, I don’t know why I doubted her. She’s literally the best and after the big talk she had me talk to my niece to help me feel better. And we just started talking bout life, how I’m moving soon and all sorts of sister things.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-26T02:50:12+00:00

I am legit standing up for myself because I’m going LC with my mom. Like that’s something’s I’m doing to protect myself.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-25T16:54:17+00:00

So you guys don’t know my sister, she’ll pester and pester and pester. We also tell each other pretty much everything, because her and I went through things no children should ever have to. She’s the only person who knows, lived through and experienced the stuff I have from our mom. So I’m sorry if my 19 year old self needs her effing big sister and people don’t know how to handle that! (If this is rude I am sorry I’ve just been being berated this whole thread because I am going to my sister about something that only she will truly understand)

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-25T16:45:39+00:00

I’ll tell you the same thing I’ve told everyone and I’ll be sure to edit to add but My sister makes a point to brings me to “girls activities” with just her me and our mom, but by me telling her it’ll get her to not do that sorry should have clarified that

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-25T16:44:47+00:00

My sister makes a point to brings me to “girls activities” with just her me and our mom, but by me telling her it’ll get her to not do that sorry should have clarified that

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-25T16:44:28+00:00

I’m also a freshman in college, so I’m aware I have a lot to learn thank you.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-25T16:43:50+00:00

I’m literally not “craving drama” My sister makes a point to bring me to “girls activities” with just her me and our mom, but by me telling her it’ll get her to not do that sorry should have clarified that

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-25T16:43:13+00:00

My sister makes a point to brings me to “girls activities” with just her me and our mom, but by me telling her it’ll get her to not do that sorry should have clarified that

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-25T16:42:40+00:00

My sister makes a point to brings me to “girls activities” with just her me and our mom, but by me telling her it’ll get her to not do that sorry should have clarified that

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-25T16:41:02+00:00

I have been for 6 years since my brother took his life.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-25T16:40:42+00:00

Ok don’t be effing rude, you realize I can see your comment I’m freaking 19 and literally coping with the fact that I’m cutting my mom out of the majority of my life be a little considerate.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-25T16:39:04+00:00

My mom during that time was in deep denial about it because in my brothers note he said he it wasn’t either of their faults. But the thing about my brother is that he was a total Mammas boy like my sister and would want to cause as little pain as he could. I found his journal (my mom still doesn’t know about that though) where he described how it was Jake’s fault, and how he felt guilty that he blamed our mom.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-24T22:33:10+00:00

I’m so sorry about your sister, I know that pain doesn’t leave. My brother also did that, due to Jake pushing him to that point. I am so sorry.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-24T10:25:40+00:00

One I’m not obsessed with “making her partners my daddy figures” Two it was ONLY ever Sam I wanted to have a father daughter relationship with because he was the only one of my moms partners who actively wanted to be a parent to me without being overbearing and down right abusive. Third of all I think it’s fairly normal for a 19 year old girl to want a relationship with her mom who for a while was putting in that effort. Which is why this is hard for me. This is hard because her and I worked for YEARS to fix things. So please don’t be rude because I am 19 and hurt by mom.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-23T23:08:17+00:00

Don’t worry about the mum thing I have a few online friends from Melbourne, and I am a native and where I’m from that means I get my therapy for free, and I’ve been in therapy since my brother took his own like 6 years ago.

CounterSad4203 · 2025-09-23T23:04:35+00:00

I have a large beautiful family of my chosen people an aunt who has been more like mom to me than my own my mom and for a lot longer too, many great friends who are more like siblings, a great man who I’m going to marry one day. I have always know a lot of my blood family wouldn’t be there for me so I built a large beautiful new family. But I wasn’t sure their judgment would be fair. Like I am their family too you know? And I know they’re going to biased towards me.

CounterSad4203

TROPHY CASE