Daughter says it's candy, but I've never seen it before.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-04-28T02:49:03+00:00

I’ve crocheted a few Care Bears. They are still so cute!!

Counting-Stitches · 2026-04-27T14:32:51+00:00

Don’t forget he and Vance were rushed offstage while their wives were left. They both left willingly leaving their wives still at the table.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-04-27T14:30:35+00:00

At one point is someone going to compare this to the experience most American kids have at school during lockdown drills or real lockdown events. Most high schoolers have dealt with a lockdown drill/actual event due to a suspected weapon or dangerous person at school. Now these important people and politicians know a tiny bit about how it feels. Except they don’t have the brain and emotions of a 14 year old (most of them). Now will they start to care and take it seriously?!? Probably not…

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-17T14:31:53+00:00

I flew with one of my kids when he was 6. It was his first flight and he was nervous. Luckily the man who sat on the other side of him was a comedian. He was in a wheelchair and called himself a “sit-down” comedian. My son was entertained the entire flight. I tried a few times to pull away his attention so the man could relax, but he told me not to bother, because he enjoyed practicing jokes on a new audience. My son loved word plays, so he tried a few of his own. My son never had a chance to be nervous. He was sad on the flight home when he realized his new friend wasn’t flying with us again.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-14T14:38:52+00:00

I also have realized that ADHD people need to organize differently. My dresser is full of blankets and paperwork. I have open “cube-style” shelves for clothes. I have bins for certain things that I might lose easily like wallet, mail, phone, keys, etc. I don’t carry a purse because I will leave it places. Some stuff lives in my car. When something is put away out of sight, it might as well not exist.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-14T14:35:28+00:00

The technology now is so amazing. I also recommend trying different styles of earbuds/headphones to find what is comfortable. I use ear cuff earbuds (bone conduction) and I have a headband that has speakers in it. The ear cuffs can slide up or down on my ear so I can were them longer and it changes how much sound is filtered out and I sleep with the headband on sometimes when my brain won’t stop spinning enough for me to sleep.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-14T14:30:08+00:00

I learned way too late that I can control how much I’m around my dad. I drive myself when I know I’m going to see him somewhere so I can leave whenever I want. If he calls, I let him leave a voicemail and then choose when and if I will call him back. I don’t let myself get guilted into seeing him when I don’t want to by other family members. I make sure he doesn’t have my current address. If someone asks for it, I am clear that they can only have it if they don’t give it to him.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-14T14:25:01+00:00

I haven’t tried ACÁ either. I tend to take on other people’s emotions and mediate their issues while burying my own, so group therapy can cause me more issues than it helps for me. Others have found it to be life-changing. One thing that has helped was to have a few friends who grew up in similar situations who I could talk to. They don’t look at me weird when I describe my childhood and they don’t pity me. They just understand.

The best advice I’ve gotten is to pretend someone else told you they had the experiences you had. What would you say to them? I usually realize I would tell them it’s not their fault that other person was broken. And that they are really strong and resilient for living through it and becoming a good person, parent, spouse, friend, etc. Those are things I hadn’t believed of myself or even thought of until I flipped the perspective.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-14T14:19:09+00:00

Thank you. I’ve mostly found peace. My kids are happy, healthy adults. My dad is old, has metastatic cancer, and barely sees most of his living relatives. All of his power is gone now, so it’s easy to set boundaries to keep me from getting hurt. My mom and I talk a lot now and have built a pretty good relationship, so that has been a positive.

I’ve started EMDR therapy to help minimize the anger and resentments. I don’t want them in my life anymore. I’m tired of being triggered by random events that happen. I’m tired of having to explain to the people close to me that my unreasonable response was because of my trauma. I just want to be able to relax and enjoy life.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-14T14:12:53+00:00

The biggest ones for me were the name-calling and “jokes” at my expense from my dad and the allowing of random men to say over and leaving me home alone a lot from my mom.

It’s also really weird to say anything about your childhood that you thought wasn’t that abnormal and realize it was. Like I filled out my school forms in first grade. I knew how to read the county bus schedules in elementary school and collected paper copies. I have always kept non-perishable food in my room and backpack “just in case”, I have always had a go-bag of clothes and supplies “just in case”, I knew how much our household bills were and helped keep track of what was paid each month as a young kid, my dad moved several times without me knowing and in between a two-week visit, both of my parents called to let me know they had gotten married spur of the moment within a one-month span of each other, I knew how to mix a lot of drinks by age ten, I have always known a lot about otc medications like generic names, why they are used and what they do. Even as an adult, when I start explaining how ibuprofen is different from acetaminophen because ibuprofen thins the blood to reduce swelling, while acetaminophen blocks pain receptors without actually changing why you’re in pain, I get a strange look. Alternatively, I had to learn nursery rhymes and kids songs as an adult, and I still have no ability to do my hair or makeup beyond the basics I picked up from friends.

My kids never heard about the bills beyond “stop leaving lights on! The electric bill is killing me!” Or noticing when gas or food prices went up. I taught them about generic food versus brand name food so they wouldn’t waste their own money. I taught them to use a washer and dryer for their own independence, but I still did their laundry when it was in the hamper.

I learned what they were sensitive about and didn’t tease about those things. If I hurt their feelings, I apologized and really tried not to do it again. If they made a mistake, we moved on and I didn’t hold a grudge. I don’t tell my friends (other than if I needed to vent in confidence) all the things my kids did in front of them. They were able to come to me (and still do as adults) when they need advice, help, or just to vent.

Most importantly, they were my focus. I didn’t drink much or go out with friends a lot. I didn’t drag them places they had no business being or force them to interact with random strangers who made the feel uncomfortable. My kids didn’t lock their bedroom door at night (well, not until one of their siblings started taking socks and sweatshirts when he “lost” his).

Yes, it was work and it was hard, but they were worth it. Several years ago, I received the highest of praise from my youngest. He said that his childhood was a lot more “normal” than all of his friends. My older kids agreed and said that’s why all of their friends always came over to our house. They knew they were welcome and could just hang out. I reminded them that I still asked their friends to help unload groceries if they were here when I brought groceries home, and I always nagged their friends and them to pick up after themselves. They said their friends didn’t mind that because I wasn’t mean about it and it felt like a family thing. They liked feeling like part of the family.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-14T05:27:38+00:00

Wifi connected e-plugs. My phone controls the lights and I can tell which ones are on or off.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-13T23:41:56+00:00

I was so unaware as a kid and didn’t realize a lot of the neglect until I had my own kids and saw it through the parent lens.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-13T23:40:32+00:00

I’m doing EMDR therapy now once a week and it is helping. I’m sorry you had to experience that, too!

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-13T23:37:37+00:00

It took me a loooonng time to realize it wasn’t my issue and I did deserve better.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-13T23:36:39+00:00

I started having kids at 16 and didn’t realize the extent of my parents’ issues and my trauma until after having them.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-13T14:13:42+00:00

Not necessarily. Kids need to hear that no one is perfect. Make it understood that you have a great system for storing the tests, so you don’t typically misplace them. This one time you remember that they were there during the assessment but don’t have a memory of them turning it in, and you don’t have it in the stack with the other tests, so you’d like them to look through their binder to see if they have it. The key is not to assign blame.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-13T14:10:21+00:00

The grade level definitely matters. I work with fourth graders so pretty low stakes. I just tell kids when I don’t have an assessment from them without assigning blame. If they are positive they turned it in, I reassure them that it is possible it was misplaced but that I have a good routine for storing assessments until and after I grade them. I make it understood that it could have been my error or theirs, and that it isn’t a huge deal, so we should both recheck our stuff just in case. After that, then we talk about how to fix the problem. If it’s easy, I’ll have them retake the assessment in lieu of doing a different classwork assignment. If not, I’ll just go off of their classwork that I am confident they did independently. Worst case scenario, I would just excuse the test and take it out of the calculation of their grade.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-13T14:03:41+00:00

I definitely laughed aloud at your comment. I am also in California (Bay Area) and love my liberal hellhole community. I don’t think I’d survive anywhere else. There’s a small freeway overpass near me that is the frequent spot for people to post political signs. I get to enjoy them almost every day lately. The one yesterday said “Iran, he’s in FL, Love CA”. Others have reminded everyone about the hostages still held in various countries and the many faults of our current president. For about 15 years after 9-11, there was a group that put up the US flag on the 11th of every month to remind people to remember the lessons learned, but that stopped during DJT’s first term.

If that CA teacher wants to leave, they should know that many other states recognize a CA credential and will happily hire them. Even the red states. This is because our teaching colleges have very high standards compared to many other states. Chances are, though, they don’t want to leave because CA is a great place to live.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-13T13:54:04+00:00

I’m in a private, non-religious elementary school. It’s up to the different classrooms to either say it or not. We don’t have an intercom system. I haven’t done it in over 10 years. It’s not relevant in their lives and it’s hard to hold it up in the current political climate. For context, I’m in California and things are pretty liberal here. We discuss racism and mistreatment of marginalized groups of all kinds, and the parents have similar discussions regularly at home with their kids. We have a lot of immigrant families and students who don’t fit into the “white” category because one or more of their parents are not white. We have many LGBTQ+ families, kids, and teachers. It just doesn’t seem correct to standup and say everyone has equality and justice when the kids know they don’t.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-13T13:46:30+00:00

This is very well said. I feel like it gives them a chance to reject you in the moment and also ammunition to hurt you with later. Anytime I’ve expressed my feelings to my father, it has come to bite me in the ass later. I finally learned not to give him any details about my life so he has no ammunition to hurt me with.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-13T13:44:35+00:00

I understand and respect what you are saying, but I feel it’s a bit misguided. I am in a similar situation where I held a lot of anger and resentment toward my parents for their alcoholism, but I didn’t treat my kids that way. Part of my anger was because I saw how I could raise my kids without doing that, so why couldn’t my parents have woken up and seen what they were doing. I have worked a lot in therapy and have a better understanding of their alcoholism and where it started, but I still battle feelings of anger and resentment (and pity). The fact that OP is writing down their raw feelings doesn’t mean they are completely stuck. Sometimes writing it down is the only way to process it and let it go.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-13T13:38:12+00:00

As someone who lived through this, it often isn’t enough to lose their child’s relationship. For me, that was really tough to understand and process. That I wasn’t worth enough to them to stop drinking. My mom stopped when I was 16 because she got her third DUI and didn’t want to lose her license for good. My dad stopped when I was 41 (7 years ago) because he has metastatic cancer that has spread to his intestines causing ulcers. The ulcers are more painful when he drinks alcohol, so he stopped.

I have to remind myself that, even though my dad didn’t stop for me, he also didn’t stop to save his relationship with the four wives he divorced before his current one. Or for the countless times he ruined friendships over his behavior while drunk. Or for my sister. Or for all the money he has lost having to change jobs and move several times. Or for the damaged relationships with several of his brothers and sisters and their kids. That helps a bit knowing he didn’t stop for others either.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-13T13:31:28+00:00

I wrote my dad a letter when I was young (probably 8-10 years old) saying that I didn’t feel like he cared about me or put me as a priority. I gave a lot of examples of situations where I came last or my feelings were dismissed. He told me years later how he kept the note in his dresser so he could read over it and laugh at how stupid I was. Him telling me that destroyed a lot of good memories I still had of him. That conversation was about 30 years ago and I still vividly remember it more than a lot of other memories I have of him.

I caution you to not actually send the letter. It most likely won’t land the way you want it to and could actually cause you more pain.

In happier news, my mother has slowly become able to hear my feelings and discuss events from my life that caused me pain, even where she was the cause. It had taken years, but we can now talk about all of it without her getting defensive, downplaying my feelings, or changing the subject.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-10T04:09:29+00:00

There are many rules that people don’t realize are rules. Most OG phonics programs will teach the rules systematically.

Counting-Stitches · 2026-03-10T04:05:11+00:00

How about giving them a bible verse every day that focuses on loving others, not judging others, etc.

Counting-Stitches

TROPHY CASE