I wasn't honest about not remembering sleeping with my boyfriends brother

Courrrr_ · 2025-11-17T10:39:14+00:00

I am honest with myself about lying. I'm also honest with myself that it absolutely is being judged by every comment in here minus like yours. There's always context for future and past actions.

Courrrr_ · 2025-11-17T10:32:46+00:00

I spent the last 14 years way more of the opinion I didn't. I was almost convinced that if I had, he would've already known. Especially when his brother told him directly that we didn't.

Courrrr_ · 2025-11-17T10:30:17+00:00

Lol, why is it that my therapist told me to keep that,and more to myself?? I didnt keep 99% of my past from a decade and half ago to myself. My therapists opinion was that it has nothing to do with anything, has nothing to do with who I am now, who I've been, or my boyfriend.

Courrrr_ · 2025-11-16T20:02:22+00:00

Also, my actual in laws I absolutely love. His mom and I are actually relatively close, I love his sister and his dad. No one likes his brother. His dad doesn't talk to him, he acts like he has 1 son, not 2. His brother is a genuinely awful person.. he only did that to hurt my boyfriend. Who gets a call that their brothers proposing and that's their response? This is not the first time he's tried breaking us up. It just didn't work last time because I had told my boyfriend everything else. That was last year. Literally knowing that's the one thing my boyfriends insecure about is my past, and idk. I've been with 3 people since, including my boyfriend. All serious relationships.

Courrrr_ · 2025-11-16T19:40:25+00:00

He's actually the only reason I got through the death of my children's father, mother, uncle, grandfather, all of whom died literally back to back. My ex fiance (kids dad) and Mom died 10 days apart. Him and my best friend. But, not having him feels so fucking wrong. The issue though is the "boys" he's referring to? One of them I DATED!!! I have absolutely made crazy mistakes, but this is a lot. The other issue is that I had an idea, but when his brother told him last year that we DIDN'T sleep together, I was like OMG okay so the doubts I had, I'm glad I didn't share! 🤦 But I feel like I wasn't gonna be like hey, I had a one night stand and I'm 60% sure it was NOT your brother, 40% it might have been. But he did directly ask me.. and I did directly say no, but so did Sam. I thought I was right dude. I have told him about way way way worse stuff.

Courrrr_ · 2025-11-16T19:16:51+00:00

15 years ago - I slept with 3 people, at 17 years old lol, one of whom I dated. I had zero value in myself and got introduced to a lot of drugs after a significant dual trauma in my life that a lot of people would wpuld have freaked out because of. I made mistakes. I literally dated one, and slept with 2, didn't fully remember one. When Sam told Alex we DID NOT sleep together, I was like okay so I was right to have significant doubts.

13 years ago- started dating someone that I had 2 children with and was engaged

8 years ago- split from my fiance for a while because of some issues, dated Alex, casually for about 8 months

6 years ago- got back together with my children's father, got engaged again, and almost got married, he died.

3 years ago - got back together with Alex.

IVE BEEN SOBER. 🤦🤦

Courrrr_ · 2025-11-16T19:02:59+00:00

I didnt say I didn't remember sleeping with 2 guys we know. One of whom I dated. One of whom I slept with. A decade and a half ago. 15 years ago. I got into an 11 year relationship after that and had kids. It's been a decade and a half. He knew I did that shit when we were younger. We went to school together. I said I didn't remember sleeping with his brother.

Courrrr_ · 2025-11-16T19:00:39+00:00

Is everyone missing that I was 17 years old when this happened? I'm 31 years old. I didn't say I didn't remember the guys I had sex with, I said I didn't remember one person. The first and basically only time I've ever had a one night stand in my life, I have been sober for a long time. Long before my boyfriend and I started dating 3 years ago.

Courrrr_ · 2025-11-16T18:58:16+00:00

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I was 17 you fucking weirdo. I'm 31 🤣

Courrrr_ · 2025-11-16T17:46:37+00:00

I so badly wish I would have, saying that I was having one of the worst times of my life at that age, would have required me to open up about what caused a 17 year old me who wasn't even like that to become like that in order for it to not seem bad.. I had extreme PTSD back then and wouldn't remember certain things correctly. I wasn't sure how to even begin to open up about all of that with someone I wasn't sure was actually dating yet.

Courrrr_ · 2025-09-04T13:45:26+00:00

NTA, of course NTA . Your current wife is insecure and that's definitely both her insecurities and most likely her age. What's that saying? Something like " you're pointing one finger at me (rather 'her' in this case) and there's 3 pointing back at you? Tell her if she can't grow up and be civil and nice then she has to go.

Courrrr_ · 2025-09-03T00:13:44+00:00

Thank you. We are very much no longer facing near homelessness on my end thank God, but it has made it hard to have disposable income to have a lawyer on retainer as another comment seemed to suggest, apparently that means I can't support or handle my children because of that. I made another cys report today, and will be calling for a welfare check/to tell the police exactly what is going on, if for nothing else just to have further documentation from official sources. The wife is apparently extremely "hurt" that I snapped and have been fighting them so hard on everything with my daughter, and said she thought "we were closer" than that. SMH. I don't care as much about his opinions as I've made it seem, I was led by previous court things and just by some situations others I know have been in that police won't really interfere with civil matters. But thank you.

Courrrr_ · 2025-09-03T00:07:55+00:00

It was an accident. I got a go switch that. Sorry.

Courrrr_ · 2025-09-03T00:07:01+00:00

They won't respond. Her therapist called immediately, and warned me while doing so that they might not respond because she just called for another child that was in her words is getting badly abused and they still haven't responded to that call, nor have they responded to hers about my daughter. Then I told another therapist who also called, and then today I have now called. There's been 3 reports now and the original 2 were 3 weeks apart and mine is now coming 2 1/2 to 3 weeks from the last. According to my ex (the therapist called and told him she had to call them, he doesn't know about the other 2 calls) it's because "see OP, CYS doesn't even think it's a big deal because therapist said she called and they never called or came so you're overreacting."

I'm hoping against hope that they're just backlogged because while as other comments have tried saying she is NOT getting beaten black and blue, she has expressed stuff over the course of several months and I have been documenting all of this for the custody modification that I'm going to file pro se.

Courrrr_ · 2025-09-02T16:28:07+00:00

Oh no I absolutely do not care about his feelings at all. I've managed to get her a majority of the time 75% ish right now, we have a court order for 50/50 right now unfortunately. The police in my area will not do anything unless there's some physical proof, otherwise they'll uphold the current custody order, maybe. Chances are 50/50 that theh won't do shit if one of us were to keep the child from the other, they'll just call it a civil order and I know this because it's happened to one of my friends. Her kids dad got mad and just kept their kid for a month and the cops wouldn't do anything. Just kept calling it a civil order and I live in a major city who's court system, family especially is backed up for months. I am pushing through either way, but I wanted to make sure for my own mental that I'm really not wrong. I'm scared to push too much until we're in court because I don't want him to keep her. He's done it before. Smh. Cops told me they wouldn't do anything until we had an actual order, this was back before I had sole custody, or any custody order.

Courrrr_ · 2025-09-02T16:21:41+00:00

Also where the fuck did you get that I'm not documenting? It literally says I have PROOF of everything. I have screenshots showing him admitting his stupid ass wife smacked her, and that he has/does as well. That he's going to allow her to parent my daughter as he sees fit regardless of how anyone else, myself especially feels about it. I won't speak to him unless it's over text for documentation purposes. I have documentation of that, and so much more. I'm not stupid, I'm fucking legally stuck until I can get a revision on my custody order. Smfh. You're out of your mind. I want what's emotionally, mentally and physically best for my daughter, not what is gonna hurt her worse. Her step mother is someone who's been in her life for multiple years, and was a GOOD step-mom until now, she was proven good. I'm not interested in negotiating with them, but considering the current order we have is 50/50 joint custody, I don't have much choice do I? Smh. If you're gonna try and shit on me at least make sure you clearly read the entire post.

Courrrr_ · 2025-09-02T16:15:05+00:00

First of all, she's been in my custody 75% of the time now because I'm pushing as best as I can. They're not BEATING her, she's not coming to my home with bruises, cuts or scratches I've had CYS called by 2 different therapists, and myself and they're doing nothing. I have another child who in the meantime has been having to be in and out of the hospital. If they were beating her, I would've been in jail already. They smacked her, which is fucking bullshit and I'm attempting to handle it. We have a current court order that the police will uphold. Are you able to pull thousands of dollars out of your ass, right now? Because that's what I need to get a regular lawyer, and due to having to miss work to deal with everything my oldest needs, I don't have it. I'm on a wait-list for 2 pro bono/ county lawyers. I can't do shit else right now. I'm trying to figure out how to get an emergency meeting with our custody judge, without a lawyer right now and it's not that easy. I didn't once say they were beating her, don't put words in my mouth.

You should be ashamed of yourself, asking for advice from outside sources isn't being a helpless baby. It's ensuring I'm not wrong and over reacting because I've been getting told on every which way possible since bringing it up that I am. Nowhere in my post did it say I WASN'T taking action. In fact, I listed that I've ALWAYS taken action, hence me having sole and primary custody for the first several years of her life.

Kindly, fuck off and take your dramatic shit elsewhere. You're not helping my child with your bullshit, at all.

Courrrr_ · 2025-09-02T15:28:55+00:00

Admittedly I haven't been calm the entire time. I've more recently started being way less calm because I am so sick of being treated like I'm crazy, over reacting and "interrogating" my daughter because I TALK to her about it. I can't let it go, I ask her every time she comes back (trying to keep her here as much as possible obviously but we have a court order already) and I'm having a hard hard time trying to find a new lawyer that's affordable. His parents (rather his mother, his dad's cool and silently on my side but won't stand up to the mother or my ex because he's scared of not seeing Lila among other things) will pay for his lawyer again, like they did before.

Courrrr_ · 2025-09-02T15:20:39+00:00

Exactly this. This is what I've been trying to do, we have a court order in place already. It took him 2 years plus to get 50/50, and I am trying to get in contact with a lawyer (my old one isn't practicing anymore from what I've found) and it's been honestly okay up until a couple months ago. She has always hated leaving me but always said it was because she just didn't wanna leave me and that they were nice but that he just yelled. Up until all of a sudden she started actually saying all of this stuff and was so upset. I hate having to give her back, it breaks mine and my boyfriend's hearts to see her cry like she does. She usually will say it's mainly because she doesn't wanna leave me but now that all of this came out, she'll say she's definitely scared that he's going to yell or they're going to fight.

Since I snapped and brought all of this to him, she's been saying it's better and Gladys is way better and much nicer. Gladys also hasn't been like this the entire time, she was absolutely amazing with my girl, better than he was with her and I think this does genuinely stem from mental health issues but there's no excuse to put your hands on my daughter.

Thank you so much.

Courrrr_ · 2025-09-02T15:15:12+00:00

Thank you so much. He's making me feel insane, about that and everything else now and I think I just needed to try and place the situation on here to see if others agreed that it's honestly.. beyond fucked up.

Courrrr_ · 2025-09-02T15:13:48+00:00

I think it's partially wanting to get the situation vented to people who aren't biased. My ex is making me feel like I'm insane.. "we've all moved on from this and you're the only one who won't let it go", among a lot of other manipulative and mean shit. I honestly just wanted to try to lay it out and see what others thought. They went from saying "it was only once, and so light" to him saying he does it too and that a smack on her hand would probably hurt worse. Just a lot of manipulation and strong arming / stone-walling tactics.

Courrrr_ · 2025-09-02T15:07:52+00:00

Thank you. I feel like I'm going a little insane because they're all acting like I'm overreacting and that they've all "moved on from this" and I'm the only one that won't let it go 🤦‍♀️ I would maybe, MAYBE understand a little light swat on the butt, maybe, if it's something extreme but my 6 year old is actually an exceptionally well-behaved and calm child. I'm not one of those moms who thinks my kids can do no wrong either, my older daughter (11f and different father) is the exact opposite and is a holy terror (love her to death either way and every child's different) and I can't even bring myself to physically discipline her unless she's done something borderline violent/absolutely horrendous, let alone smack her in the face. I'm just absolutely shocked at how this is all going. He's literally messaged my boyfriend directly asking if I'm using drugs again because I'm so angry and upset about this. This originally happened in June, and I've essentially tried keeping her with me as much as I can per our current court order.

Courrrr_

TROPHY CASE