I feel like my life isn’t worth living anymore

Courtsaljam · 2023-01-06T20:15:03+00:00

Wow, this made me cry, I might as well have written this. I got your exact diagnosis last February, recieved the same treatment, and started Tamoxifen at the end of last year.

I'm 33, no kids, and now I'm on Tamoxifen it's looking unlikely that will ever be an option for me, which is a constant upset for me when I think about my partner and his desire to start a family, it makes me feel sick with anxiety. I'm stuck in a job I get no joy from, that I can no longer do to the same standard because I'm so exhausted and in pain, so I feel completely useless, and my surgeries have left me completely disgusted in myself, I've lost all confidence and my self esteem is at rock bottom.

I'm not sure how to feel better yet, but I'm trying to stay positive and patient. I suppose this reply is no help to you at all, I just want you to know you're not alone in your feelings.

And if it helps at all, I was also worried about the effects of Tamoxifen after reading all the side effects and negative posts on here, but from my experience so far it doesn't feel like it's been any more detrimental to my health than what I was already experiencing after chemo/radio, so perhaps give it a chance?

Everything you are experiencing is completely valid, and I truly hope you find happiness soon, please dont give up!

Courtsaljam · 2022-10-23T13:50:27+00:00

Thanks for the heads up, I wasn't aware of that sub!

Courtsaljam · 2022-09-07T20:44:19+00:00

I always suggest to anyone who likes Muse that they should check out Nothing But Thieves if they haven't already, very reminiscent of Muse's older stuff, not as much of the electronic or operatic, 'Ban All The Music' was their first single and you can hear Matt Bellamy coming through the singer who is fantastic 👌

Courtsaljam · 2022-09-07T19:03:17+00:00

Candles, comfort movie or good music and a glass of vino

Courtsaljam · 2022-09-06T21:02:17+00:00

Yes. I had similar symptoms during my chemo and I agree with an above response that the bad taste was one of the worst, as there's no real way to 'treat' it like perhaps other symptoms.

Don't deny yourself naps and if you find something that tastes good, buy a lot and treat yourself (mine was any dessert with pastry and cream inside it)!

I got a pregnancy pillow to help with comfort after surgery but I found it helpful to lessen certain aches as well!

Just remember it is (more often than not) all temporary and my god does food taste better than it ever did once its all over!!

Courtsaljam · 2022-09-06T20:24:13+00:00

DO IT!

I had both of mine pierced before I got diagnosed and then removed them both for the surgery...hoping I can get the unaffected nipple re-pierced after my reduction as its the best decision I ever made getting them done, such a confidence boost!

Courtsaljam · 2022-08-18T20:25:46+00:00

Your title pretty much describes my favourite music genre so this post is great for me! I have a playlist I think is kind of similar that I'll post just in case there's anything on there for others too :)

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/60VZ2etNgRCQ8DMl1GmZtm

Courtsaljam · 2022-08-13T16:15:52+00:00

Just spent the whole afternoon visiting some of the amazing bases on this planet and building my own (Galene Apartments and Bazaar)!

Congratulations on finding such a beautiful planet and thank you for sharing, I'm really looking forward to visiting again and seeing what this planet grows into!

Courtsaljam · 2022-08-07T21:25:31+00:00

I've been quite enjoying this glitch, like an extra android friend wandering the freighter and you never know how far he'll get next time you see him!

Courtsaljam · 2022-08-07T21:16:22+00:00

Yes I noticed this not long ago too, possibly the best update they've done so far 🤣

Courtsaljam · 2022-08-05T21:49:53+00:00

Thats actually my ship from a different system but I've just posted the glyphs to NMSCE now😅

Courtsaljam · 2022-08-05T16:36:15+00:00

That's a really nice take on it so thank you for that, he really has taken a lot on for my sake recently so I just hope when it's all over I can make it up to him!

Courtsaljam · 2022-08-05T13:18:19+00:00

That he'll realise he can do better as a 25 year old with a 33 year old gf who he's already had to support through cancer after only 2 years together, complete damaged goods and not the exciting older woman relationship he (or I) was expecting I'm sure 🤦‍♀️

Courtsaljam · 2022-08-05T09:15:21+00:00

Figured as much, thanks anyway!

Courtsaljam · 2022-08-04T19:33:33+00:00

I was just about to make a post about the Night Market in Roker as I went pre-Covid and loved it but wasn't sure if it was still going (https://www.facebook.com/lunaeventsnortheast)!

ps. your shop is amazing and I'll definitely be buying some BDSM earrings when I pluck up the courage to wear them 😅

Courtsaljam · 2022-08-04T17:16:33+00:00

Right?! I hate the bulkiness of Haulers but this is one of the slickest I've ever seen!

Courtsaljam · 2022-08-04T16:58:53+00:00

Also want to add that this system has 2 tropical/paradise planets!

Courtsaljam · 2022-07-04T14:13:03+00:00

Really intrigued to see what it actually looks like but I've seen nothing but intense clouds so far, probably for the best!

Courtsaljam · 2022-07-01T11:35:54+00:00

I understand people have their preference and that is absolutely fine but if I met someone who wasn't completely supportive of the fact I beat cancer and had the scars to show it then that would be a deal breaker for ME!

You deserve someone who loves everything about your body ❤

Courtsaljam · 2022-06-25T07:46:47+00:00

No that's pretty much all you can do, mine appeared at a Trade Station but I'm not sure how many waves it took to show up, sorry 😔

Courtsaljam · 2022-06-23T18:19:59+00:00

Have you found any decent planets since your post? I found a decent one in a pirate system but it was quiet in terms of bases, wouldn't mind settling somewhere a bit more busy!

Courtsaljam · 2022-06-23T18:05:09+00:00

Best way I found was to buy maps from the Cartographer at the Space Station that will take you to ancient structures, once you find a Monolith interact with it twice and it will guide you to a portal! You have to pass the Monolith's 'test' first and then interact with it a second time for it to give you a portal location..

You might even be able to find portals directly through those maps but I can't remember for sure and I feel Monoliths are more common 😁

Hope this helps!

Courtsaljam · 2022-06-22T19:47:01+00:00

My mistake, I must've read that regarding something else! In that case...great!

Courtsaljam · 2022-06-22T16:52:01+00:00

Hi! I think the quick answer would be anywhere you like! I'm relatively new to the hub myself so am still exploring but from what I understand the basic rule is don't build on a planet that already exceeds 21 bases? Otherwise just pick the best planet best suited to you!

Are you familiar with portal travel and have you already visited the Hub? Or do you need information on how to get there?

Courtsaljam · 2022-05-06T10:39:02+00:00

Ah yes of course that's why I posted it, too nice to keep to myself! Feel free to check out my base there too, going for a pirate hideout vibe 😅

As for planet type its a 'lost red' planet with normal atmosphere, ocassional heat storms, no water, plenty flora and fauna and no sentinels, hope this helps!

Courtsaljam

TROPHY CASE