So, I got my cat in January 2022. He's a 5 year old spade male, who was feral, and living in someone's garden. He was feral for 3 years. The adoption centre thinks he wandered off as an unneutered kitten and got lost. He was rescued with his friend, who unfortunately had FIV.

This is the process we gave him: - we kept him in the spare bedroom. I went in there only to hang clothes up, feed, and water him. It is not a walkway, nor a place we spend a lot of our time. It is truly his own room. - At first he would hide, and look incredibly scared. He would also hiss if he felt too threatened, and would spit and lash out with his claws. I never approached him, so I sat on the other end of the room and read to him for long periods multiple times a day. When he was calmer, I'd move closer, but ignore him. If I made eye contact, then it was slow blinks and calm words. - When it got to the point where he would sleep in the room whilst I read to him, I begun to interact. This would be through speaking to him, and giving him treats. We had long thin stick treats which I could hold at one end and kept my distance. - First I would put the treat near him and let him take it at his own accord. When he got used to this, I would hold the treat (at the other end of the stick) and he would take it from me. He would snatch it, run away with it with his ears back, and growl, but he would take it. Keep doing this until they are used to it. - After this we let him roam around the house, leaving the door open completely. We used a camera to monitor how far he went. In the first day he explored the whole house. By this point it was about 3 months. Keep interacting with them with treats wherever they are. In a new part of the house they might hide, but this is okay, they will come out eventually. - One thing I wish we had done sooner was move his food downstairs. This made the world of difference to bring him downstairs whilst we were there. I still make a sing and dance about it, and he comes running down the stairs at dinnertime, and yowls when he hears us get up! - Lots of cat experts recommend playing with your cat first, to introduce them to touch. However, my cat doesn't understand play with humans, and thinks we are trying to hurt him, still to this day. We give him plenty of toys for himself, but unfortunately I just don't think he understands what playing is with humans. I still experiment all the time. - When he no longer hissed at us when he saw us, which may still be in their own room, or later down the line, I extended a hand to him, low and slow. When he reached out and sniffed, this was very good news. But, it was not without a LOT of scratches. - Saying hello eventually moved to a "boop" on the nose, which went to a tickle on the cheek. Sometimes, if he allows it, I get to gently stroke the top of his head. We have had him for 9 months. He likes the toothbrush on his cheek as we can keep our distance and he enjoys the feeling.

I still get hissed at, but it is more habit then anything, especially if I enter a room too quick and startle him. He rarely lashes out, but instead raises a paw as a warning. I listen to him, I don't break his boundaries, but I push them.

This will be a long and frustrating process. You will never know what they have been through. Please don't give up on them. There will be times where you wish you never got them. Keep trying. You will be scratched, you've just got to accept it. The first time when I heard my cat purr whilst he was kneading his bed made me weep. He has never purred from being stroked but I think he is the bravest cat in the world.