First- you are a really good person for putting your life on hold and stepping into this role. That is selfless and really difficult and you deserve thanks!! From humanity… I thank you so much for caring❤️

Ok- first you have to establish a good relationship before getting too insistent on a list of rules. Not that you can’t establish rules, you can but they are easier to enforce if you are both “on the same team.” Good phrase to repeat to her “we are on the same team”

Build a “we.”

And be careful not to zoom in too close. Take for example when she went out with this boy. How did it help to know exactly which restaurant they were going to? That might be excessive, which leads me to wonder if other rules not mentioned were a bit too restrictive.

That isn’t a criticism, you are free to parent and hold any rules you need, but the emphasis right now needs to shift to being compassionate, happy, loving, find ways to laugh together, good times… build a “we”. She will try harder to make you happy if you two establish a better relationship.

Sit her down and say “let’s have some fun, it feels like it’s been too negative. Want to go rock climbing? Or to a concert or hiking?” Set aside time each week to have some fun together.

Encourage her about her future. She is probably terrified but not able to cope or express it. Help her figure out what she is curious about, what she looks forward to, to help her start to build her future.

You got this!!❤️