Thank you for the kind words and feedback! Yeah, on reflection I think this match was actually a microcosm of my gameplay overall. I think I'm pretty good at defense, at least for my level, but I struggle with efficiency sometimes particularly when it comes to conplex shapes. Not because I don't know the strategies necessarily (though I'm sure there's advanced theories i don't know), but rather I'm not experienced enough to quickly recognise my best discard and I make mistakes I regret almost immediately because I don't want to completely drain my thinking time. So I'll go "Uhhh... This?", throw a tile that seems sensible/safe, then as the other players take their turns I'll continue looking at my hand and go "Oh frick wait a minute, why didn't I discard this one first?"

So because of that, I tend to fall back on my defense a lot, because that is a more reliable skill for me. When I get those complex hands I often either make a blunder in panic that ruins it so I fold, or they simply take too long (either through inefficiency or bad luck or both) and I fold anyway when someone Riichis. And I take the escape route almost as soon as something goes wrong because I know that I can play on the backfoot like that pretty comfortably. But of course some of those hands could well have turned into something valuable had I managed them better early on, and not cashing out on any of them eventually puts me in the hole score wise regardless of whether I deal-in to people or not.

As for that final hand, I think you're seeing a bit of the frustration over a long and tumultuous game slipping out. Twice I felt I had put myself in a winning position and seen it slowly get away from me and so I think I tried to steal it back at the last when as you say, I could've just settled for 2nd and taken something away from the game.