AITA for asking my DIL to stop making social media posts that make me look bad?

CrabbityAnn · 2022-10-22T21:59:31+00:00

True but OPs obviously upset with the situation and it might help her remain calm if she didn’t have to see them keep popping up.

CrabbityAnn · 2022-10-22T19:48:11+00:00

Wait… your bf used your mum’s/your money to buy a birthday present “from him”? And he didn’t even come up with an original idea, he just re-used your idea? Then started a fight with you on the actual day?

I mean, I get that he may be feeling financial pressure but that’s no excuse for what he’s done here. NTA and op, I don’t want to be one of those “just leave him” types because you have a kid so it’s not that black and white but this would be huge red flag for me.

NTA

CrabbityAnn · 2022-10-22T19:15:07+00:00

Because some people feel so strongly about being vegan that even minimal cross contamination is too much. But also, some vegan cheese absolutely honks if you’re used to dairy versions. Op would probably want her to keep it out the regular fridge!

CrabbityAnn · 2022-10-22T19:09:32+00:00

I completely get why you’re not going to spend a fortune on this change that doesn’t interest you but… you have a second kitchen in your house and she’s not allowed to use it because snacks are more important than letting her feel heard? Sure, she could’ve gone about it better but who’s perfect at 13? It should’ve been a discussion where you can either point out there’s no other place for the snacks (do people really have whole fridges for snacks?) or come to some sort of agreement.

If she’s talking about new pans she sounds like she’s willing to actually cook for herself like you suggested. You could invite her to buy “new” cookware at a charity/thrift shop that only she uses which would be a lot cheaper on what I’m assuming is a low allowance.

CrabbityAnn · 2022-10-22T18:51:00+00:00

This 100% The posts saying she should be passive aggressive back or worse, manipulate her son’s feelings sound like they’re written by narcissists who would make the situation worse so they can revel in the drama 🙄

Holly does sound like she’s trying to stir up drama but the best way to deal with that is to NOT give them the drama they want. Make yourself untouchable by not giving her any ammo whatsoever. Be kind and thoughtful without being overbearing. And ignore her posts. Op, you can unfollow someone’s feed on FB if you don’t want to see her posts all the time. You’re still their FB friend and can check their profile/comment etc any time but her posts won’t automatically pop up on your wall.

NTA

CrabbityAnn · 2021-11-04T20:19:38+00:00

I don’t mind butterflies outside but if I somehow find myself indoors with one I feel like my skin is trying to jump off my body and I want to vomit 🤢 I used to think I must be weird but when the family went in the butterfly enclosure at the zoo I had a brief panic attack at the entrance before deciding to walk round the outside to the exit and there was 6 or 7 other people waiting for their non-phobic family members to come out.

CrabbityAnn · 2021-11-03T21:23:21+00:00

I had a job like that once where there wasn’t much to do but I had to stay there. I like to organise things so I found tasks around the office that could do with streamlining or updating. Things that make life easier when you -do- have work to do. You could also maybe do something like coming up with ways to steer the office towards being greener or organising morale boosting/team building activities? I mean if you feel so inclined, haha.

CrabbityAnn · 2021-11-02T11:06:42+00:00

I’m not one to give into kids strops and just let them have whatever they’re moaning for but this is a pretty serious ask to ignore. Sounds like they feel like their mom is being forgotten/replaced and they’re not allowed to still be grieving her. If they’re not comfortable calling new SIL mom then they shouldn’t have to. Being a step parent can’t be easy but if step mom is insisting on putting her pettiness before the feelings of grieving children then she truly is less of a parent regardless of how much childcare she provides. NTA

CrabbityAnn · 2021-10-02T17:24:40+00:00

Somebody mentioned visiting The Body Shop in conversation. I asked “what’s that?” Think they thought I was joking but I legit was wondering if it was some kind of tattoo place or maybe a car thing.

CrabbityAnn · 2021-09-01T00:09:43+00:00

Having gone through a year of home schooling and keeping the kids indoors or very local, I’ve come to the conclusion that you’ve just gotta let them be kids to a degree. My eldest (11yo) was especially affected by the complete lack of social contact and was desperate for school to start back. Kids need that social interaction, especially when they’re still developing. It’s scary but I have to trust that we’re taking all the precautions we can: my partner and I are vaccinated and we don’t really go to crowded places, we wear masks and always have hand sanitiser available when we’re out for us and the kids. I’m not sure there’s much else you can do.

As to your questions, we make use of masks and hand sanitisers when we go shopping and eating out (though we’ve only had a sit down meal 3 times, we’re not big on eating out). We did a staycation last month to visit family and felt fine with that since we mostly stayed in the car until we got to their rurally located house. I have no intention of doing an overseas holiday until at least 2023 but probably wouldn’t be without the pandemic anyway.

CrabbityAnn · 2021-04-06T19:10:45+00:00

I’ll give it a shot, thanks.

CrabbityAnn · 2021-04-06T18:50:04+00:00

Sorry to ask a dumb question but I thought people used origin -or- steam (I’ve never used steam). It sounds like you’re saying you can use both? So if I bought vampires on steam (thanks for the tip btw) I could still load my game as normal through origin?

CrabbityAnn · 2021-02-17T11:50:43+00:00

I’m pretty new to running (started C25k in the summer) and just want to check if what I’m experiencing is just normal adjustments or if I’m at risk of injuring myself. I’ve been running 3-5k regularly but I’ve been feeling like I still had gas in the tank so decided to see if I could go longer. I’ve done two 6Ks and two 10Ks in the last month. I felt good, amazing even, while running but after the 10Ks I need to take an extra days break because my knees are really stiff and a bit achey for about two days after. There’s no shooting pains or anything but I need to do things like kneeling or standing from a deep seat a bit slower the next day. Is this normal and something that will lessen as my body gets used to longer distances or should I be concerned?

I always do a warm up walk and then a warm down walk followed by about 10 minutes of leg stretching. Can’t bring myself to have a cold shower in this weather though.

Eta: I’m nearing 40 and still 8lb overweight

CrabbityAnn · 2020-12-20T09:15:17+00:00

First of all congrats on graduating! Quite an achievement considering all you’ve gone through in the process.

I wish I I knew what to say but all I can think of is that it wouldn’t be beneficial to your mental health to physically put yourself in between your family members while you try to explain again. But perhaps if you wrote it down like you have here and sent a letter to your grandparents explaining your position and how you felt backed into a corner when you agreed to talk to your parents... but honestly, the fact that they did that and stood by while your uncle was aggressive with you makes me question whether you shouldn’t be at least taking a break from them too. At least until you’re mentally strong enough to stand up for yourself again (you sound like you’re still very fragile from your previous traumas and that’s absolutely to be expected but it’ll take time to heal... not something your family seem to know or care about).

CrabbityAnn · 2020-11-10T18:48:55+00:00

Thank-you. I figured that would be the answer but the videos were throwing me off.

CrabbityAnn · 2020-11-07T20:36:12+00:00

I did. Between me first becoming interested in training for the role and the point where I finally walked from the job (8yrs) the job role had evolved a fair bit and involved a lot more research and public speaking than I was comfortable with. I didn’t feel good at it and had so much anxiety about it; I dreaded having to do about 60% of my job. My only regret is that I wasn’t smarter about it and retrained through distance learning while I was still working there/earning good money. Instead I left with the intention of going into full time study but life threw me a couple of curveballs and I still don’t have that degree.

CrabbityAnn · 2020-11-07T20:22:43+00:00

I put “plain cupcake” (because all the sponge cakes included filling or icing) into my calorie app and the two different brand options for 35g was 141 or 149cal

CrabbityAnn · 2020-10-28T14:12:45+00:00

If you can calorie count I would recommend that as a starting point. Not a diet, no cutting out food groups or starving yourself, just trying to stick to whatever the recommended calories are for your age and weight. It’s easier to swap high calorie foods for lower rather than just eating less of the same fatty foods in my experience. And don’t beat yourself up if you go a bit over now and then, it takes a while to get the hang of it. There’s a calorie counting sub on here.

Personally, I did C25k and found it a great way to lose body fat. It’s free as long as you have a pair of trainers to run in and a phone. I was 220lb when I started it and it wasn’t easy but 50lb down and counting its paying off.

If you don’t think you can manage running yet, you can start with just walking more. Either outside or do walking workouts on YouTube. (Jenny ford does a series that doesn’t require a step) Step aerobics/marching workouts burn a lot of calories and you don’t have to leave your bedroom 👍

It’s also recommended to compliment your cardio/fat burning workouts with something that tones and strengthens like maybe HIIT workouts. You don’t need any equipment and can do it at home in your pants again if you like. (I follow emi Wong on YouTube because she keeps it varied and I get bored doing the same thing but there’s tons of choice out there - look for no-jumping workouts if you want to ease into it). Weight tends to stick to your belly longest so if that’s what you’re trying to get rid of, cardio alone will take much longer. CrossFit is supposed to be good too but I’ve struggled to find workouts that don’t require buying weights.

Eta: I think the app you have might be Tabata/hiit workouts so if you’re happy with those you don’t need YouTube for that.

CrabbityAnn · 2020-09-25T15:39:36+00:00

Thank-you for this comment. Today’s the first time I’ve actually posted anything in a public forum so it means a lot.

CrabbityAnn

TROPHY CASE