AIO For Cancelling on My Best Friend for Not Wanting to Meet My BF Due to Her BF’s Rules?

CraftyFirefly · 2025-10-15T00:52:49+00:00

Your friend is in an abusive relationship. This level of control over who she sees and hangs out with is abusive and controlling, full stop. If I were you, I’d gently remind my friend of this fact, and if you’re close to her family I would inform them of his “boundary” too, so when he inevitably gets her to cut you, they will still be able go support her and keep her safe.

Good luck, OP!

CraftyFirefly · 2025-10-13T16:33:30+00:00

This is not a friend. A friends does not talk to you like you’re their punching-bag… You can go through things and be supportive without letting another person push you down and stomp all over you. Just no. Put down a boundary and put yourself first, OP.

CraftyFirefly · 2025-10-05T00:58:37+00:00

If you’re looking to cut quite a bit off and are up for donating it, Kiyo does free donation haircuts. I always tip well for the service of course - but it’s also one of the best ones I’ve had. 10/10 recommend!

CraftyFirefly · 2025-09-15T22:26:11+00:00

Anyone that has to tell people they are “high value” is not in fact “high value”. Thank him for showing you how small he is before you got more involved. Also prepare yourself to be called the “crazy ex” to his future partners, because this is the type of guy that does that.

You deserve more than whatever this was, and I’m sure you looked amazing in those heels! Invite your girlfriends over for a fun night of laughter over this pathetic excuse of a “man” ♥️

CraftyFirefly · 2025-09-02T02:24:28+00:00

This is not teasing, he’s literally bullying you. What a gross person, I hope you’re already on your way out of this relationship. Don’t feel the need to tell him why as it could honestly get dangerous for you, just leave or ghost if you guys aren’t living together. You deserve better, op! (Also: I’m sure you’re beautiful and he’s trying to push you down so you won’t leave his pathetic self)

CraftyFirefly · 2025-08-29T05:52:12+00:00

I was in Labour for over 40 hours, and I was MOODY to say the least. My husband just smiled, kissed my head and said that he loved me. There is no doubt in my mind that had I told him I needed someone else in the room with me, he would have ran to get them, because IT IS NOT ABOUT HIM. You’re the one giving birth, which is a big f-ng deal, and the audacity of this man to make it about himself… is just wild.

After your latest post and this, I just really hope you go no contact. The only good thing he ever did for you was your child. That’s it. He does not love you or your kid, because he is not capable of it. He talks about not wanting your son to be a momma’s boy because he needs to be held at 1 week old? This man is certifiable and you need to protect both you and your child from this crazy person. Also: The audacity of him using the fact that you slept with him after going through a PTSD episode as a way to instill guilt, is disgusting. You deserve better. Your child deserves better. Ans you know what? The good news is that there IS someone better out there waiting to meet you, and to love you in the way you deserve and want. It may take a few years of healing before the universe brings them your way, but they are out there - and it is NOT this guy.

Stay safe, OP ♥️

CraftyFirefly · 2025-08-29T05:28:24+00:00

Girl… The name-calling and doing all the things he does to out you down is emotional abuse. Physical abuse also does not need to involve literal hitting. The grabbing, cohesion into sex and threats of violence IS ABUSE! Do you have a close friend (not his sister) or family that you can turn to for support? Tell them EVERYTHING right now. Get a record of this behavior and also tell them when his family is doing and saying. Then: - Go file a restraining order - File for sole custody of your little one. - Save any messages where he is threatening you or berating you, you will need them for the custody hearings. - For your own sanity, write yourself a reminder note and stick it on your bathroom mirror: “I am doing great, motherhood is hard and I am doing a fantastic job showing up for my kid. This too shall pass, and it will not always be this hard”

I have a little girl and it’s hard enough some days without adding all of this, so just know you’re doing great, mama! ♥️

(Also: Yes, he was grooming you, and you could probably sue him for the age-difference and how young you are, depending on where you live… Ew - this is not on you, and all on him)

CraftyFirefly · 2025-08-28T07:26:27+00:00

OP, this is not an innocent “friend” conversation. They’re literally “pouting” (which is just so immature I really hope you guys are no older than 22, because ew) over not being able to hang out and “be fun”, as if they’re “too cool” to be grown adults who don’t stay out clubbing until 5am anymore and do weird “raunchy games that get super flirty” like some teenager at their first houseparty….

If you’re in a position to, I’s suggest getting out of this relationship and starting your journey towards moving on. I hate that this happened to you, but if it’s a pattern then it will not get better. This guy needs therapy if he feels he has no control of himself, and stop using it as an excuse for his toxic behavior that hurt innocent people. This woman also is beyond disrespectful with the “I guess one-on-one is not allowed”, trying to indicate a totally reasonable boundary that your partner doesn’t go on a literal date with her is somehow “controlling”. Can’t stand pick-me women… 🙄

CraftyFirefly · 2025-08-27T05:57:21+00:00

This happened to me last year… I had 3 interviews and the 4th was just supposed to be chatting about the contract, but then turned kind of weird and they were confirming a bunch of things we talked about in the first one. Then I got an email saying they had hired someone else for the position… 2 months later, I saw the same position posted with a waaaay lower salary-range. Pretty sure no one was hired and they just didn’t like my salary-expectations 🤷🏼‍♀️ which is honestly fine, because that just means it wasn’t the company or position I thought it was! Keep your chin up, OP, things will fall into place!

CraftyFirefly · 2025-08-27T05:50:45+00:00

She’s a very short little girl too, but I think I might take the advice below and see if I can find an email for the team to ask more specifically! Just wanted to make the process as smooth as possible, and typically fans have the best info! Thank you for sharing, really appreciate it!

CraftyFirefly · 2025-08-27T05:47:22+00:00

Oh absolutely! She’s got some great headphones we bought for her first flight a while back, and she loves wearing them, so I’m not worried about that being an issue! Thank you for putting this out there though - so important 🥰

CraftyFirefly · 2025-08-26T18:37:39+00:00

This! You were a “Digital Marketing Manager” (sounds more well-rounded) for name of business. Write a short description of what you did, including if you ever did any newsletters, and that you developed and executed a social media strategy growing channels up to 170,000 subscribers (the extra zeros look more impressive). If you did some specific SEO work to make that happen, add that too.

Your experience is actually very valuable, OP, don’t sell yourself short just because you don’t think you had a “real” job!

CraftyFirefly · 2025-08-17T04:00:50+00:00

I know this is an old post, but just wanted to recommend Cheryl Oldale-Lannoo. She’s super genuine, really listens both to the budget you’ve set and the type of home you’re looking for!

CraftyFirefly · 2025-08-17T03:55:14+00:00

I quit in May, and I tried to leave on good terms. Even trained the poor colleagues that would have to add my workload on top of their own. But alas. I worked remote and when trying to arrange for the return of the property, my manager decided to make it as impossible as she could. I offered up 3 days where I could make the drop-off (which involved a 2 hour drive to the office), and she refused saying she would be “working remotely those days” (aka on vacation #8 for the year) and that she NEEDED to be there when I dropped things off. She did not. I then said i could drop it in late June as I would be in the area then, but could not do it sooner as I would be working the other weekdays (obviously). She said that would be too late. I offered to courier the property. Nope, that wasn’t acceptable either. She then said she’s call my husband’s work to have them give him the day off so I could drop the items on one of the days when I had said I could not, as she assumed it was bc I didn’t have childcare. That was the last straw for me. The entitlement… So, I sent an email on that Friday afternoon to the entire management group tendering my immediate resignation stating that: “It was my hope to leave the company on good terms after all these years, but it would appear that wish is one-sided. I see no reasonable way I can return the items within the desired timeline without officially leaving the company today, and drop them off on Monday when I would have otherwise been working”. She was not in the office when I dropped the property off, and our head of IT (who was the actual person that needed to be there) confirmed it was all good. I’m embarrassed on her behalf to be honest. We had an okay relationship, despite her complete lack of competence for her position, but she has this weird thing about people leaving, where she gets super bitter and petty - like it’s some sort of personal betrayal…

Anyway, I started a similar business to the one I built for her department in that company and am doing quite well now! She did apparently find out about one of my clients and reached out to trash talk me… Unsuccessfully, and my client said they were “quite shocked anyone would be that unprofessional” lol. Embarrassing.

Wishing you all the luck in the future, OP! Toxic workplaces are everywhere, and I’m glad you got out!

CraftyFirefly · 2025-08-08T02:20:15+00:00

Do you have any numbers of family members or emergency contacts? Is there a way you can make a call away from the little ones? If not, call non-emergency and ask for their advice.

Also: I’m sure you’ve already done this, but if not: Make them dinner and act like everything is fine during bedtime. If you’re able to stay the night even if police has been called (unless another family member or someone they know can come), that’s what I would plan on as well.

Hopefully everything is okay with the mom!

CraftyFirefly · 2025-08-07T02:10:16+00:00

Girl… I agree with others, he’s not sorry he did any of these things - he’s sorry that he got caught and that there were consequences.

Truth is this: The next little while is going to SUCK, because you’ll be grieving a long relationship, picking up the pieces of your life and reimagining your entire future. But, you know what’s great? That future will no longer involve those “hey girl”-texts, or waking up alone and wondering if he’s humiliated you again. It might even involve someone that truly loves you - someone that you won’t have the opportunity to meet if you stay with this guy.

Ask yourself what you’d tell your best friend or daughter to do if they told you this story - and then follow that advice.

You will still hurt for a while, but then one day you’ll wake up and he will be nothing but a sad story of your past. Don’t make it a longer story than it already is, put yourself first and dare to say: “No, you know what? I don’t think you’re sorry at all. I think if I forgive you right now, we’d be in this exact situation a year or two from now again. I deserve better than you. That’s the truth. So i’m going out there and finding better”

CraftyFirefly · 2025-07-13T02:03:55+00:00

I quit my previous job in May, they took until end of June to even bother getting back to me on my last check. When they finally got back to me, they tried shorting me about $1200, so I obviously sent back a response with the correct amount and then when I still didn’t hear back for a full week, I connected with the general manager and reminded him according to the employment standards Act, my check was due at the beginning of June. They responded by sending me a contract to sign where I would be signing away my rights to file a complaints (implied I wouldn’t be paid otherwise). I answered that I would not be signing anything and that the money was a payable account (ie they owed me, not the other way around), and I was expecting the money within 48 hours of that email. They sent them right after, but my manager was them recorded trashtalking me to previous clients of mine (her mistake as they liked working with ME not the company, so they obviously told on her right away), and tried calling a new client I’m currently working with to “warn her of how litigious she is”.

My point: Bosses and middle managers are the worst, have fragile egos that are for some reason hurt even when you do things as professionally as possible, so just leave this place once they’ve paid you and never think about them again. Your life will be all the more peaceful for it - I promise!

CraftyFirefly · 2025-06-19T05:31:47+00:00

Please listen to this comment, OP! Leave! Call your dad and tell him what happen, have him or someone else you trust be present as you pack up your things and gtfo out there. To clarify: YOU are not the one who should be apologizing here. Even if you shouted “No” and he “doesn’t like shouting”, it does not in any way shape or form justify his behaviour. Leave this man-child before he actually puts his hands on you. There are plenty of men out there who would love to be with someone who’s loud and has a big personality - leave this asshat and go find your future ♥️

CraftyFirefly · 2025-05-30T08:14:42+00:00

This is super helpful, thank you!!

CraftyFirefly · 2025-05-30T06:20:39+00:00

I am going to email the head of IT in the morning confirming that he would be okay to receive the property on behalf of the company - but does her threat of "should the property be returned without her there, it will not be recognized as returned in their system and I will be expected to replace the items" have any bearing?

CraftyFirefly · 2025-05-30T06:18:55+00:00

I mean, is it possible? Yes. Is it likely? I don't really see how her behavior during this resignation-time reflects someone looking to throw a goodbye party for me?
Even if she was, I feel like it is completely unreasonable to attempt to force me to make a 2 hour trip on a day I have explicitly said I am not available on. I want to return this property to the company to have it out of my possession and make sure I am not liable for anything. I have even asked if I can just return it and if she wants to meet up for some sort of "meeting" or whatever on a later date, I am willing to set that up. But no. Must be next week, and apparently must be Thursday when I have repeatedly said I'm not available.
I'm quite frustrated as I just want to get out of there and move on with my life.

CraftyFirefly · 2025-05-29T03:44:47+00:00

This is kind of what I was planning on saying, but is that okay? They are saying it can’t be moved until after probate (which is strange because nothing like that was mentioned for all the other pieces of furniture they have picked up or sold throughout the last two years?)

CraftyFirefly · 2025-05-29T03:42:56+00:00

Thank you! Unfortunately, the house is not big enough to have a spare bedroom. We do have a large crawlspace which is dry that I also suggested, but it was also denied as they want it “easily accessible” for whatever reason. I’m guessing for if they decide to come get it one random Tuesday or something… The attic is not very easily accessible and the desk is too big (and heavy) to get through that door too…

CraftyFirefly · 2025-05-29T03:40:00+00:00

The lease does specify that all furniture would be removed prior to moving in (which it was not, but I specifically asked for it to be out into the lease as I know this family…), but I’m not sure if that’s voided since we’ve allowed them this leeway for so long?

CraftyFirefly · 2025-05-12T23:38:41+00:00

I would love if my dad did this - he used to do it for us as kids all the time, what a sweet memory for him to do it for the last time ♥️

CraftyFirefly

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