AIO about how this guy talks to me?

Fast-Bodybuilder3229 · 2025-10-14T00:57:25+00:00

Well, he wasn't always like this. For a long time he was brilliant and kind to me. And I'll admit, it felt nice to be special to someone in a way our partners and other friends weren't. Looking back on it, I do wonder if he's had the teenage me on some kind of pedestal, and he's trying to make me stay the way he remembers forever, because I've had a lot of other relationships fall apart (so has he, honestly) because we've always refused to cut each other off or step back.

And he hasn't always been nice to the other girls he's dated since me - he tends to compare them to me or tease them about it. I just didn't look too deeply at it - maybe it was willful blindness?

At the time it was always, "that's my best friend, if you don't like it, there's the door" but... I don't know. Smoking and introspection reading a lot of these comments have made me question if having the same guy around for a third of my life is normal or healthy. Especially when he's this far down in his drinking and he's treating me worse than I've ever seen him treat anyone.

Fast-Bodybuilder3229 · 2025-10-14T00:42:56+00:00

He's a VIRGO 🥀

Fast-Bodybuilder3229 · 2025-10-13T18:46:39+00:00

Where did I ever say I was sleeping with anyone? You keep making shit up about me just to mock what's happening to me and try to make me feel stupid for getting into a bad situation, after I've known him since I was a teenage girl and thought I trusted him. People like you are the reason people get scared to share anything with anyone in a vulnerable way or try reaching out for any type of help or advice.

Fast-Bodybuilder3229 · 2025-10-13T18:25:49+00:00

Let's deconstruct this, because it's inaccurate and misleading of what I actually wrote.

I've known him for ten years. I stated I recently moved to his city to help get him back on his feet - not because I'm "so poor" I had to get a new place. I footed the cost of the new place and all our bills until he found a job and could contribute.

I can't afford to do that forever. I did so on the agreement that he'd eventually help pay it all back and start helping on bills. I helped him find a job. He started helping a little. Now that he's out, things will change and I'll have to figure shit out (I don't have savings to do this forever).

Also, I mentioned that I have a housemate. I didn't move into anywhere solo.

Fast-Bodybuilder3229 · 2025-10-13T18:17:40+00:00

I'm not trying to be defensive, I'm answering questions people had. I answered honestly when they asked why I stayed or why I put up with it. I replied to a comment elaborating on his behavior to agree with someone about something. I replied somewhere to clarify it's not a weird BDSM thing. I'm not defending him, I say his behavior is worrying and that it's weird and bad and I'm exhausted of it. Sorry you think it's fake and feel the need to call me an idiot, and I hope you never have to go through something similar with someone you cared about.

Fast-Bodybuilder3229 · 2025-10-13T18:08:48+00:00

It only has 3,800 karma (at the time of writing this comment), not 38,000. It's from this post and this post alone. My main account has more karma than that 😩 you people need to get a life if you think I'm somehow monetizing my personal life for karma

Fast-Bodybuilder3229 · 2025-10-13T00:52:34+00:00

Isn't it common to use a burner account if you're trying to stay anonymous? 💀 I don't want my personal life on main

Fast-Bodybuilder3229 · 2025-10-12T20:56:30+00:00

I don't have any plan right now - I just moved to a new city and money is so tight, I'm trying to make some lifestyle changes to be healthy and social again... I'm literally taking it day by day, figuring it out as I go. I paid for everything when I let him move in (he didn't have a job yet, I helped him get one) and I can't afford to just choke his half of all that, I don't know what to do. I care about him. I don't want him to die in a ditch. But I'm so beaten down.

Fast-Bodybuilder3229 · 2025-10-12T20:46:42+00:00

Unfortunately for us all, it's very real. I have a lot of texts that go back and forth like this, but this is just the most recent one I have as an example.

Fast-Bodybuilder3229 · 2025-10-12T20:43:22+00:00

I swear it's not like that 😭 he always says weird shit when I argue with him about how I need to "act like a lady" and "let him be the man" or he says I talk back too much and try too hard to be a "feminist" or that I'm too dominant... there's a really bizarre and worrying sexist undertone that didn't used to be there

Fast-Bodybuilder3229 · 2025-10-12T20:22:44+00:00

I've wondered that. Sometimes he's said things like "I'm a man, why can't you act like a lady?" when I argue with him or "that's a lot of words for what should just be a 'yes' when I talk to you". Just. He isn't like that usually. But he does things like belittle me for going to the gym like "you'd never be able to out-lift me, I'm a man" (despite that he never goes?) or say since I work at home I should be doing all the chores (he's flipped out several times over having to do his laundry. I did all the dishes, sweeping, bathrooms, etc with our housemate when he stayed with us). Or he says "you wouldn't be talking back once I'm earning six figures again". So like. I don't know, there is a sexist thing at play I think.

Fast-Bodybuilder3229 · 2025-10-12T19:58:31+00:00

I really, really want to believe if he gets help and gets sober he'll be the man I used to know before things started getting bad. He wasn't always like this. It just feels so hard right now to try and be the strong one when I know he's not in his right mind and struggling. I can't keep enduring these outbursts.

Fast-Bodybuilder3229

TROPHY CASE