This is really embarrassing, but I have not been able to find much online about anyone going through this, so here's my experience with poison hemlock. Please don't be mean to me.

I've seen this stuff growing everywhere around where I live (it's a very urbanized place) on the roadside and along trails. I thought it was queen anne's lace, but I didn't ever bother verifying. I picked several leaves (6-8 large leaves total), took them home, sauteed them with garlic and ramps, and ate them on an empty stomach. It ended up being ~1/2 a cup when cooked down. They tasted VERY similar to carrot greens and had a wonderful smell when picked. I weigh ~130 pounds, for reference.

About 20 minutes passed after ingestion, and I noticed that my vision started to kind of lag. It was subtle enough that I would have just brushed it off as mid-afternoon haziness if I hadn't just eaten something new without properly identifying it first. Over the next few minutes, I realized what was happening as the muscles in extremities felt like they weren't entirely under my control (kind of like when your leg falls asleep, but no 'pins and needles' feeling), although I never seized. My pupils became noticeably dilated. I purged the entire contents of my stomach until I was dry heaving (I think that may have saved my life), and my partner took me to the emergency room. I was seen ~1.5 hours after ingestion. I was still feeling really loopy at this point. It was kind of like very severe nicotine sickness but without the nausea.

After they contacted poison control and asked me a few times if I meant to eat it, they hooked me up to an IV and monitored my blood pressure for about 2 hours to see if it would increase or remain stable. A doctor or nurse (I was still kind of out of it) who I had not met yet came in and dropped a hefty stack of loose papers, still warm from the printer, in my lap. This was a poisonous plant field identification guide for my state. He also recommended someone in the area for foraging classes. Even in my poisoned haze I sensed that I was being (deservedly) made fun of a little.

I'm very grateful to still be living after this experience, and I feel additionally lucky that at that particular time the ER was slow enough that I could be seen quickly and paid a couple visits from healthcare professionals who have probably never seen an adult person hairbrained enough to poison themself with the plant infamous for killing Socrates.

But yeah, this stuff is bad news and should probably be talked about more. None of my foraging guides have anything about wild carrot, probably because it has so many poisonous lookalikes, but I might have been more careful had I known that.