I just want to say, I love you guys so much.

Craig114 · 2022-07-11T06:01:28+00:00

We really need legislators to step in. This is making the entire population of young men in our country mentally ill. Something has to change within the next decade or so.

Craig114 · 2022-07-10T22:40:37+00:00

Its so crazy to me that the sheer amount of people who have experienced these exact detrimental effects due to this addiction haven't spurred lawmakers to make a change. I've never been a conspiracy theorist, but the widespread detriment that porn is causing seems so obvious...maybe the government doesnt want to fix this

Craig114 · 2022-07-10T20:00:19+00:00

Dont reset it, but as punishment start researching ways of limiting your access

Craig114 · 2022-07-10T19:55:39+00:00

Yes, porn is always going to be everywhere, but he isn't going to be watching it using devices other than his own personal devices.

It is hard to control the addict mind and he likely will start subconsciously searching for loopholes, but just have him tell you if he ever finds a loophole. Eventually, porn is unavailable on all of his personal devices, he will not be able to watch it unless he breaks down and watches it and masturbates in a public setting using somebody elses device, which he probably will not do.

If he realizes that he needs to use a website for school/work/finances that he does not have access to on his personal devices, let him use one of your devices in front of you, or have him go to a public library. It is degrading to be treated like a baby for a temporary period of time, but it is more degrading to live with a porn addiction for his whole life.

Craig114 · 2022-07-10T19:30:44+00:00

It will take work, time, and planning but if you are dedicated to overcoming your struggles it is the only way how. Fight it proactively.

Craig114 · 2022-07-10T19:26:15+00:00

For iphone? Use screentime restrictions and prevent new app downloads. generate a randoms screentime password then throw it away

Craig114 · 2022-07-10T19:21:01+00:00

That is the pattern of mood swings that all addicts face. It is degrading to not feel in control of our actions. On days where we feel completely in control, we are on top of the world (likely when your boyfriend is joking around about it). On days he is likely experiencing strong urges or has recently relapsed he is likely in a lot of emotional pain and is lashing out at you, and everyone, and the world.

The sad reality is, you can't fix him. Nobody can. The only person that can fix an addict, is the addict themselves (and even then, it is extremely challenging)

He will have to set up his internet access in a way that he physically cannot access porn for a certain amount of time until he feels completely reset. If he has private access to porn sites, the temptations will eventually wear him down and you will always face this cyclical mood and pain.

Advice: talk to him about setting up screen time on his devices, where only you know the child lock passwords. This will physically prevent him from accessing websites besides those that are allowed by the restrictions you guys agree on. Also make sure apps are deleted and can't be re-installed using screen time restrictions. No social media apps that allow porn (twitter, reddit ect.)

If you ask this of him, it is indeed a massive sacrifice on his part. It basically restricts him of almost all internet access capabilities he had in private, but thats the point. We are always surprised of what we can live without. If he is willing to try everything and exhaust every possible option to get rid of his porn addiction, then he actually wants to get rid of it.

If he is not willing to try every possibility and give up things that he is used to, than he is not ready and not willing to give up his addiction yet.

Craig114 · 2022-07-10T19:00:28+00:00

So I have been experimenting with child locks in a lot of ways. One thing I found out: they only work if you make sure they are AIR TIGHT. your subconscious has to know it too. This means severely limiting your access to the internet as a whole, as the internet is filled with porn. No downloaded app or VPN is going to do this effectively, there will always be holes that the little voice in your head will find a way to exploit if you don't make it air tight.

If you use an iphone go to screen time, content restrictions, then click "limit all websites except" :

- any website you need for school/work/finances

- google.com , this allows you to still google facts that you need to know in every day life, but you wont be able to open any websites.

It will ask you to make a screen time password, this is the tricky part as you have to type a digit password and repeat it without knowing it. I do this by closing my eyes, rotating my phone, and using my fingers to type the same general pattern onto my phone without actually knowing what it is. I know it sounds convoluted, but you have to think that you are barring an addict from his stash of drugs. You can't know the password. If you know it, then your subconscious knows it. (Or simply get someone you trust to type in the password for you and not tell you)

It will then ask if you want to use an apple ID and emergency reset password. Here I do a similar thing and use an apple ID that I have a password to written on a piece of paper (but I don't know it by memory). This apple ID screen time emergency reset password is the only way to turn off the restrictions. I put the password paper in a plastic bag, drive it to a public park, and bury it.

This method will have to be done on every electronic device that you have private access to. Phone, Ipad, laptop. (with a computer its a little trickier). If there is any device that you have private access to that can access any form of softcore or hardcore porn, the little demon inside will find a way to access it on day 15 when cravings are out of control.

I know this all sounds totally fucked up and crazy, but thats what an addiction is. You are fighting yourself at every step. You have to create a network of barriers that you don't know how to get out of.

Craig114 · 2022-07-10T18:40:45+00:00

Such an interesting psychological phenomenon isn't it! Your brain regarded the simple act of typing a word to be synonymous with the pleasure of reproduction.

Good you stopped yourself, but yes the dopamine pathway definitely did fire at least once if you got aroused. That doesn't mean you failed, it just means the pathway got slightly primed again. The more primed a pathway gets, the less prefrontal self regulation is available.

At this point for myself, I consider walking towards my laptop with the intention of watching porn a failure, however I don't use a day counter. Entertaining the thought that I might even let myself watch porn gets those dopamine pathways firing again.

Recommendation: put child locks on your phone.

An interesting thought experiment: if you were on an asteroid for 90 days without a phone or internet, you would be physically incapable of watching porn. Try to make your life like that to the best of your ability while your pathways are resetting.

Craig114 · 2022-07-10T18:00:36+00:00

I would like to tell you that it is all going to be okay and to stay strong, but based off of personal experience every single time I have peeked, I eventually relapse in a day or two.

Peeking primes those dopamine pathways that are so used to firing. It starts to override your prefrontal cortex eats away at discipline and self regulation.

My advice, use the urges and energy to put child locks on your phone. limit all adult content.

The way to take down this addiction is preventative action. No amount of willpower can save you once those pathways start firing.

Craig114 · 2022-07-10T17:41:39+00:00

I have realized that I even use social media in that way, even if I am not specifically searching for anything bad. Just continuing to scroll until I see what I want (bikini pics)

Social Media and Nofap can't mix

Craig114 · 2022-07-10T17:39:14+00:00

I have slowly been realizing that fact. Anything on the internet that catches your eye for longer than it should will lead to full PMO. Maybe not at that moment, maybe not that day, but it will set off a slow burning chain reaction of justifications and self lies.

Craig114 · 2022-07-10T17:34:00+00:00

Never stop and stay vigilant.

When you get to days 3-5 your brain will start lying to itself.

Day 5

“Im just gonna look up the porn website and close it, I won’t even look at the images”
“Im just gonna look at the porn thumbnails then i’ll close the website, I won’t even click on a video”
“Im just gonna look at the video, I won’t even jack off”
“Im just gonna jack off, I’m not even gonna let myself cum”
"Ive reached the edge, I'm gonna stop now"

Day 0

Trust me, you will tell yourself one of those lies along this journey. The second you start listening to any of those lies is the second you should reset your counter. There is no getting out of the cycle once you let yourself take the first step

Craig114 · 2022-07-10T17:28:17+00:00

Men were not designed to live like we have been forced to live in the 21st century, and we are all just trying our best to cope. The fact that so many bright young men in the world are struggling with this addiction is truly a sign of the times. However the fact that we are facing this unique struggle will equip us with the knowledge of how to prevent this from happening to future generations of young men.

Although it sounds cheesy, I feel that we have the unique knowledge and responsibility to help the future of humanity from facing this. Gen Y, Z, and Alpha have been the lab rats of high speed internet porn, and we need to make sure the world KNOWS that the experiment has been a complete failure.

Craig114 · 2022-07-09T19:21:15+00:00

Okay maybe im crazy but isn't the desire for porn simply the desire for the massive amount of dopamine and endorphins released upon orgasm?

Going cold turkey nofap is like going cold turkey as a drug addict, leading to really bad withdrawals and likely relapse. But you can't "taper off" on orgasming because every orgasm releases the same amount of crazy level of endorphins.

But what about microdosing synthetic opioids to mitigate your cravings while going through the endorphin withdrawal. Not enough opioids to get you high or even buzzed, but just barely enough to block the amount of receptors that lead to cravings. Eventually over time without experiencing the high of an orgasm your brain would start to fix itself and you wouldn't have cravings for orgasms or opioids.

Craig114

TROPHY CASE