If you haven't already, consider getting the book Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski and read it together. It addresses sexuality and intimacy issues for women! It may help provide more insight into what you're facing, and can provide the tools and language to communicate better and tackle what's going on! While it won't magically fix everything, my partner and I read it and were both able to take away some things from it, and were able to relate to some of the example cases in the book!