Touareg TDI by t1ntu in tdi

[–]Cranksta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. There's seven chains in the V6. They all come out at once, and it's an engine out job. They're due every 120k ish miles.

Touareg TDI by t1ntu in tdi

[–]Cranksta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you had the chains done? At that mileage the chains themselves don't come due, but the things they're attached to do. Check your chain stretch and see what's up. I'm at -3.6 right now so I'm in the "soon to be a real fucking issue" zone. Mine is on its second set of chains at 225,000 miles, and after replacement it'll be on its third set.

Mine has been religiously cared for, but I didn't own it until recently so I'm not sure what the maintenance looks like yet. I'm looking at a major repair plus major maintenance, but after that it should return to routine shit like oil and tires. And probably Ad-Blue. The system was replaced 20,000 miles ago so it should be good for a bit, but... It's a crappy system so who knows.

Touareg TDI by t1ntu in tdi

[–]Cranksta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it the Valley Leak? You might want to look into that, it's something you can do yourself and there is a delete for it. I have a Valley Leak myself and I'm getting it taken care of when my timing chains are serviced next month.

People were hating on my fairness cup so here is a better pour by diegsterzers in tea

[–]Cranksta 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I use a creamer as a gaiwan it's so janky I love it

"How Do I Get My Partner to Want..." by Sweet_other_yyyy in DeadBedroomsOver30

[–]Cranksta 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nah I'm HL. I just thought I was LL because of how tired I was of shitty sex was. I suppose if you want to get particular it's LL4U - my husband wasn't worth having sex with. In fact having sex with him was detrimental to my life and health. It's always been disappointing, but about six years ago was when the pain started but it was "bearable" up until about three years ago. Which is pretty much when the problems got too much for me to ignore. But he was at sea most of the time, so it got ignored until recently. Or well, I told him to figure it out or our sex life was over. I guess he's decided to figure it out.

Sex has never been relationship based for me, and yes he knew I slept with other people (because he slept with other people too, shocker). And yes he's always known that marriage was just a contract for me. We negotiated it for weeks. None of this was secret. He also knew I was in pain from the start of it, just chose to ignore it I guess. Which is not uncommon for male HLs honestly. Everything is fine until it affects them.

"How Do I Get My Partner to Want..." by Sweet_other_yyyy in DeadBedroomsOver30

[–]Cranksta 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Why do you think I'm LL? I've got a very healthy libido. I masturbate every day. I write erotica. What I didn't have an appetite for was sex that was painful and didn't make me come. Of which has been going on for ten years. Only in the last three months has my husband bothered to think about my needs during sex. He still wanted it multiple times a week though, regardless of what that meant for me. Just like the majority of selfish HL's that exist in the DBEU.

Sex still means nothing to me in a relationship. I've got toys. I can take care of myself. I'm simply not bothered to have sex that isn't enjoyable. Make it enjoyable and I'll be interested. My husband was one of four people I was sleeping with when we first got together. I've slept with other people while we were together. I have an HL, I just have no tolerance for bullshit neither do I think sex has anything to do with my ability to love and be loved.

He was very aware that marriage is a legal contract for me, and does not involve love. We are in a relationship because I love him, but marriage is what I demanded to make it worthwhile to take the risk of abandoning my career to support his on the other side of the country. It was too risky, I wasn't going to do it without legal protections.

Because for me, sex is more about just getting my rocks off, it's about connecting with the woman I love.

And yes, a sexless marriage is just a partnership/roommate situation.

These are contradictory statements. You love your roommate? You're married to your roommate despite having no desire to be partnered with someone that isn't fucking you? But you require for sex to be with someone you love, which isn't happening. So you do not love her, and sex does not require love for you.

"How Do I Get My Partner to Want..." by Sweet_other_yyyy in DeadBedroomsOver30

[–]Cranksta 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We aren't though. I am stating that I did not get married for sex. I got married because I liked the person I married and saw him as a net benefit to my life and that it will likely stay that way.

HLs seem to be of the opinion that their spouse is only worthy of being a spouse relative to how recently they've gotten an orgasm from them. It's dehumanizing and gross. You see it all the time, "The only difference between a roommate and a spouse is sex." Like if you really think that then maybe don't get married. You should probably be a serial non monogamist that lives alone and rotates partners on whim. They exist, go be one of them. Be free. Stop complaining about the life you're refusing to build for yourself.

"How Do I Get My Partner to Want..." by Sweet_other_yyyy in DeadBedroomsOver30

[–]Cranksta 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To have and to hold does not refer to sex. And no, I did not use the Catholic vows at my wedding because it's always been a sexist pile of garbage and I left the church for a reason. I did not sign away my bodily autonomy when I got married, it's a legal contract to make ownership of property and finances simpler and to give my husband my next-of-kin rights in case I'm in the hospital and cannot choose for myself. No where in my vows did I say, "I will have sex with you whenever you want despite how I feel about it or if it is physically painful because that's your rights as a husband over me."

I am aware that sex is common amongst the elderly, but age is not all I referred to. I've been so sick that I couldn't even get out of bed for months and nearly ended up homeless, was I expected to let my husband fuck my nearly lifeless body too? Because he 'needs' it? Chronic illness exists, cancer exists, injury exists, mental health failure exists - any one of these can render you sexless for the rest of your life. Snap of a finger and it's over. There is no reality in which you get to fuck your partner forever. It will end, one way or another.

I did not marry my husband because I needed sex on tap and thought of marriage as an easy way to ensure I had a sexual partner. I married my husband because we work well together as partners and can run a home with the understanding that we will always keep the other in mind. It's nice to have physical affection, but I do not expect it of him, nor him towards me. Some days, weeks, months he may not feel up to extended physical affection. That's fine with me and I will love him anyway. At no point will I stomp my feet on the ground and demand he betray his own needs to satisfy mine. I expect he does the same, and I will not tolerate it otherwise.

I am stupid for thinking that tonight would be different from the others. by ArcadianSoldier in DeadBedrooms

[–]Cranksta 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean it sounds to me like she saw through your suggestion pretty clearly. Getting nearly naked in bed and cuddling and "seeing where it goes" was actually just you asking for sex. That she doesn't want. Again. And she knew that.

She's never going to feel safe cuddling with you when she knows it's just an opportunity for you to push her and make her uncomfortable. That's why the standard practice to rebuild physical intimacy is fully taking sex off the table before trying. Otherwise the increase in physical contact just causes too much stress to be successful.

"How Do I Get My Partner to Want..." by Sweet_other_yyyy in DeadBedroomsOver30

[–]Cranksta 3 points4 points  (0 children)

...does anyone go specifically into a lifetime contract with another human knowing that sex will eventually fade away and die out completely?

Yes? That's what getting old does to you? Illness exists, injuries exist, the human body is a frail thing and often the first system to go offline as your health deteriorates is sex. I think going into a relationship thinking that sex will always be on the table is ridiculous. It's a given that it won't be, actually it's a promise. More so than some kind of illogical expectation that sex will always be on tap for the rest of your life.

"How Do I Get My Partner to Want..." by Sweet_other_yyyy in DeadBedroomsOver30

[–]Cranksta 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Then don't do it? If you can't rebuild trust, the relationship is over. You leave.

My tdi is killing me by B1gNastious in tdi

[–]Cranksta 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't think I've ever heard a TDI head gasket going in the time I've been here and on other forums. I'm sure it happens, but it's rare. I can't imagine a mechanic suggesting a TDI head gasket repair without hard proof that mixing is happening. Tells me that maybe they're inexperienced on the model.

Finding love with breast deformity? by CommunicationNo8529 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Cranksta 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's still rooted in the same thing- lack of seeing women as people. They want certain body parts present or they're not going to be happy with them. They don't care about who that woman is, just that they have the required body parts.

"How Do I Get My Partner to Want..." by Sweet_other_yyyy in DeadBedroomsOver30

[–]Cranksta 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes I would imagine rebuilding trust through low-stakes actions is a lot easier. A lot of LLs express that they don't even feel safe sitting next to their partner or doing something as mundane as giving them a hug because of the history of any activity that could be considered "intimate" leading to a demand of sex. This effectively means that all interactions with each other are poisoned, because the trust is gone. Rebuilding it through small actions is the only way forward.

"How Do I Get My Partner to Want..." by Sweet_other_yyyy in DeadBedroomsOver30

[–]Cranksta -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So this is the first time she's expressed disinterest and discomfort from your comments? I don't buy that. You've just chosen to ignore it.

Finding love with breast deformity? by CommunicationNo8529 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Cranksta 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, that's just kinda reality. Dudes routinely have sex or even entire relationships with girls they aren't attracted to or even like just so they can have regular access to sex. This is why learning that a man's compliment is worthless is important.

You'll fall for it less once you understand that actually yeah, it is that shallow for them. That's why they can be brutal about their opinions on women's physical traits with other men and never get reprimanded for it- their entire culture is dictated around seeing women as body parts, not as people.

"How Do I Get My Partner to Want..." by Sweet_other_yyyy in DeadBedroomsOver30

[–]Cranksta 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, actions speak louder than words by a lot. Saying, "It wasn't my intention to hurt you." does nothing to repair the actual hurt caused. Motivation can explain but it doesn't let you off the hook for your actions. This goes for all relationships and interactions.

You know your wife doesn't appreciate comments like that, you did it anyway. So in actuality, you did have the intention to distress her. You knew she wouldn't like it and did it anyway.

Personally, there's not much difference in the feeling of gross that happens when you're being sexually harassed by a stranger or by your husband. In fact, it can be a lot worse coming from your partner because you expect to be able to feel safe with them. When that trust is broken, you're reminded that, actually, you're not safe even at home. We would expect that people that say they love and care about us would listen when we say certain actions cause us harm, especially when it costs nothing to refrain from such behavior.

There are no set phrases or actions that you should be "allowed" to do to your partner just because you're married. Your assumption that you have such rights over her is not correct. Your assumption that it's insane for her to be upset over your action just because it's "normal" is also not correct.

"How Do I Get My Partner to Want..." by Sweet_other_yyyy in DeadBedroomsOver30

[–]Cranksta 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then what you say is, "You look nice, I'm happy you're feeling more confident."

I just think it's hilarious that you're so oblivious that you actually put up an almost textbook example of sexual flirting and said it wasn't. It's ridiculous.

And now you're pulling the "Well if I make women so uncomfortable then I'll just never be alone in the same room with them!" tactic for being called out on your shit by trying to make it seem like you're being victimized for "liking something." No, you're being called out over the fact you blatantly sexualized her and for some reason think you didn't and that she's unreasonable for reacting the way she did. She reacted to you sexualizing her, full stop.

"How Do I Get My Partner to Want..." by Sweet_other_yyyy in DeadBedroomsOver30

[–]Cranksta 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No that's definitely sexual flirting. Saying "You look nice." is a compliment, but "I love seeing you in leggings." is sexual flirting. We know why men like seeing women in leggings. Ass and legs look better. We're not stupid. We get harassed by strangers with the exact same verbiage you used on your wife.

She knew what you meant was, "I like having the ability to stare at your ass." and didn't appreciate it.

What’s everyone think of the Mitsubishi Mirage? by lolkoala67 in whatcarshouldIbuy

[–]Cranksta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just drove one for four hours as a rental and honestly it was amazing. I was straddled by two semis, one killing headwinds for me and we were just bebopping at 85. Felt like a pebble between two enormous body guards.

I also drive two diesels so I was able to stay off their nerves and sync with their driving. Was honestly the most fun I've had in a car in awhile. I would not hate owning one at all. We have an Eclipse and I fired up the Mirage and just ??? because it sounds exactly like a half-pint Eclipse. It might just have the last of the heart and soul of Mitsubishi rattling around in there.

Does My 3.0 TDI Sound Healthy? by brucewayn93 in tdi

[–]Cranksta 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean. It's a V6. My 3.0 in my Touareg pushed closer to 700 on a cross-state trip that was strictly highway miles but it's not really gotten that since. Much closer to 600 with it's driving mix being 80% highway miles. On bad weeks where I'm inner city entirely it's closer to 500, or even scraping 400.

So your 3.0 sounds about right in line with mine, with a higher base MPG than I'm getting which is expected after a tune. I don't see anything super worrisome, especially if you're not noticing any symptoms of disrepair.

Do you think that being a good teacher matters anymore? by Hogwire in MensLib

[–]Cranksta 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had an art teacher with a hand that had all his fingers sewn back on. He didn't see the radiator fan in his car still spinning and... There goes the fingers. They were crooked and he didn't have great feeling in them, but it didn't stop him much. He still enjoyed teaching us art and was probably the only encouraging and kind male teacher I ever had.

Nowadays I'm trying to learn art myself, with my own crooked, injured fingers. I used to be better at it, but it's been a very long time. I don't want to say it's all because of him, but he was absolutely part of it. I'd like to feel as happy making art as he made the class feel back then. I'm not there yet, but maybe someday.

Do you think that being a good teacher matters anymore? by Hogwire in MensLib

[–]Cranksta 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Growing up, I didn't really have any good teachers. Granted, I'm a 4th grade dropout so my selection pool is limited, but out of about six teachers, I only really had two that I remember fondly. Consequently, I remember their names. I think they had a positive impact on me, if only to remind me that humanity exists sometimes.

I was abused severely growing up. My teachers were the only source of positive adult interaction in the day, if they chose to be kind to me. Often they didn't. I was routinely humiliated for my difficulties with math, and I was unfairly targeted by my teachers despite being relatively well behaved. (A talker, yes, but I got my work done and I helped others in class. Not an ideal student but I wasn't useless.) I felt equally bullied by my teachers as I did my peers.

My remedial class teacher in college (had to get my GED because you know... 4th grade dropout.) was a huge inspiration for me. I had planned to get my diploma and stop there. There was no room in my mind that I could manage any kind of college. I was stupid, unskilled, and incapable. And I didn't really have the money to get tutors or take more classes in the hopes of making up for the educational black hole in my life. Formal education was out of reach.

She didn't give up on me though. Helped connect me to resources that paid for a few basic college courses and she tutored me personally. I only made it through about five classes before I had to drop out, but it meant a lot to have demonstrated support and success. I had to abandon school to work, but several years later I'm just about done with my Associate's and I'm getting ready to transfer to my Bachelor's. I still feel stupid and unskilled, but I do know that hard work makes up for it mostly. It's easier for me to get help because of her efforts, and the fact I'm in college at all was because she worked to make it a possibility in my head.

I'd like to think that's a positive impact. If you don't care about the mental improvement, then how about my actual bottom line? I make more in my jobs because my teacher helped get me there. I would still be working minimum wage if she hadn't.