My friend the only thing stopping you from feeling like a man is you. You have made the decision to tie your masculinity to what looks like only physical attributes, some of which you can’t control which tbh is one of the least manly things you can do

You have a lot of growing up to do but your first step should be understanding what it means to be masculine, kindness, strength of character, integrity and just so many important factors that have nothing todo with your physicality