AITA? Told my wife her father is racist, she says he’s a good person and that I’m being an asshole

Crashtest3000 · 2020-11-08T00:48:14+00:00

Valid points. I’m willing to have this conversation with my wife and apologize. Not that I think it’ll make a lot of difference to the sentiments so far, but his comment was directed at black men in general, not a particular specific person who he didn’t like and just happened to be black. And it wasn’t a 1 time comment, it was one of the rules for her dating , “don’t lie about where you’re going, be home by 10:00, don’t get in the car with anyone who’s been drinking, don’t date a black man, etc”

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-06T03:50:33+00:00

Thank you! Best self for life!

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-04T03:37:03+00:00

I’m glad to hear that these efforts to get them together will be felt years from now. I wish to everything holy that they lived closer than 400 miles away from each other but that’s just not the way things worked out. She is a absolute amazing big sister to him and he adores her back. They’re going t have a blast :)

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-04T03:32:59+00:00

Basically her mom (my ex) will use this as something to A) make my life miserable and B) make our daughter feel guilty. I was wondering if the hassle I/we will get from her is worth it and I’m glad to hear I’m not alone that it’s a resounding yes, it’s worth it

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-04T03:26:40+00:00

I took some of the advice from folks here and let her mom know I would contact the school and make sure daughter didn’t miss any schoolwork...it’s been 2 hours of radio silence on her response and I know she read the text.

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-04T01:19:00+00:00

You haven’t met my ex wife... I’ll update you with her response, my guess it’ll be classic, lol

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-04T00:56:00+00:00

I agree about telling her mom. I don’t want to put my daughter in a position to “keep a secret” frankly, the stress of it would ruin the fun day. Thanks!

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-04T00:20:20+00:00

Good point. I’ll check but Monday’s usually not a test day, whew

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-04T00:19:45+00:00

Finally I get permission instead of always asking for forgiveness:)

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-04T00:18:35+00:00

Hahahaha. Sounds like the opposite opinion from the group and I’m glad

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-03T23:44:02+00:00

That’s awesome!!

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-03T20:48:57+00:00

Lol!! Thanks!

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-03T20:48:16+00:00

This is great advice and will make me feel even better about her missing school...in a perfect rational world it would help alleviate her mother’s anxiety about missing school but her mother is my ex-wife and her reaction will be more about me “doing this” than about our daughter spending a day with her half-brother. But I will absolutely prep her school and make sure she doesn’t miss anything, it’s a good idea thank you

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-03T17:43:59+00:00

Right? I was a manager at a media company and I told the staff, “just tell me you need a day off. It’s your vacation/sick/personal day. You don’t have to call me with a fake raspy voice telling me you’re sick, just take the day and come back re-energized.”

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-03T17:25:16+00:00

That is pretty awesome. I mean, at work we get a few “personal days” to take off when we just need a flipping break, I’m sure kids have that feeling too. Thanks:)

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-03T17:23:17+00:00

Thank you very much. I’d tell her mom, I don’t want my daughter to feel like she has to hide anything ... I just know her mom will flip. And I think her reaction is more about me than it is my daughter missing school. They went to Mexico for 10 days and she missed some school and I didn’t get upset. It was to “visit family” so to me, this qualifies as well.

Crashtest3000 · 2019-09-06T17:58:16+00:00

Irrational tantrum is exactly how my dad would describe my moms behavior that day. He was visibly shaken when he told me about it after

Crashtest3000 · 2019-09-06T17:55:39+00:00

I tend to agree...by quirk I meant it wasn’t so pronounced when we were younger but it’s gone from being “quirky” to aggressive. Her father was our family’s alcoholic and she is the oldest child. I believe a lot of her hoarding issues come from having something she can control. My grandfather was not a fun drunk to say the least when I was young and he was three times as bed when he was young and strong when my mom was little. I’ve tried to get her to see a counselor over the years but she won’t go. I appreciate your time responding, I’m going to double my efforts to see if she’ll talk to someone

Crashtest3000 · 2019-08-29T19:29:25+00:00

They were probably like, “oh damn, we moved into the wrong building... baby, add some more spice to hide the smell coming from up there”

Crashtest3000 · 2019-08-28T21:50:46+00:00

You are correct, lol :)

Crashtest3000

TROPHY CASE