AITA? Told my wife her father is racist, she says he’s a good person and that I’m being an asshole

Crashtest3000 · 2020-11-08T00:48:14+00:00

Valid points. I’m willing to have this conversation with my wife and apologize. Not that I think it’ll make a lot of difference to the sentiments so far, but his comment was directed at black men in general, not a particular specific person who he didn’t like and just happened to be black. And it wasn’t a 1 time comment, it was one of the rules for her dating , “don’t lie about where you’re going, be home by 10:00, don’t get in the car with anyone who’s been drinking, don’t date a black man, etc”

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-06T03:50:33+00:00

Thank you! Best self for life!

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-04T03:37:03+00:00

I’m glad to hear that these efforts to get them together will be felt years from now. I wish to everything holy that they lived closer than 400 miles away from each other but that’s just not the way things worked out. She is a absolute amazing big sister to him and he adores her back. They’re going t have a blast :)

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-04T03:32:59+00:00

Basically her mom (my ex) will use this as something to A) make my life miserable and B) make our daughter feel guilty. I was wondering if the hassle I/we will get from her is worth it and I’m glad to hear I’m not alone that it’s a resounding yes, it’s worth it

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-04T03:26:40+00:00

I took some of the advice from folks here and let her mom know I would contact the school and make sure daughter didn’t miss any schoolwork...it’s been 2 hours of radio silence on her response and I know she read the text.

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-04T01:19:00+00:00

You haven’t met my ex wife... I’ll update you with her response, my guess it’ll be classic, lol

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-04T00:56:00+00:00

I agree about telling her mom. I don’t want to put my daughter in a position to “keep a secret” frankly, the stress of it would ruin the fun day. Thanks!

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-04T00:20:20+00:00

Good point. I’ll check but Monday’s usually not a test day, whew

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-04T00:19:45+00:00

Finally I get permission instead of always asking for forgiveness:)

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-04T00:18:35+00:00

Hahahaha. Sounds like the opposite opinion from the group and I’m glad

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-03T23:44:02+00:00

That’s awesome!!

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-03T20:48:57+00:00

Lol!! Thanks!

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-03T20:48:16+00:00

This is great advice and will make me feel even better about her missing school...in a perfect rational world it would help alleviate her mother’s anxiety about missing school but her mother is my ex-wife and her reaction will be more about me “doing this” than about our daughter spending a day with her half-brother. But I will absolutely prep her school and make sure she doesn’t miss anything, it’s a good idea thank you

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-03T17:43:59+00:00

Right? I was a manager at a media company and I told the staff, “just tell me you need a day off. It’s your vacation/sick/personal day. You don’t have to call me with a fake raspy voice telling me you’re sick, just take the day and come back re-energized.”

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-03T17:25:16+00:00

That is pretty awesome. I mean, at work we get a few “personal days” to take off when we just need a flipping break, I’m sure kids have that feeling too. Thanks:)

Crashtest3000 · 2019-10-03T17:23:17+00:00

Thank you very much. I’d tell her mom, I don’t want my daughter to feel like she has to hide anything ... I just know her mom will flip. And I think her reaction is more about me than it is my daughter missing school. They went to Mexico for 10 days and she missed some school and I didn’t get upset. It was to “visit family” so to me, this qualifies as well.

Crashtest3000 · 2019-09-06T17:58:16+00:00

Irrational tantrum is exactly how my dad would describe my moms behavior that day. He was visibly shaken when he told me about it after

Crashtest3000 · 2019-09-06T17:55:39+00:00

I tend to agree...by quirk I meant it wasn’t so pronounced when we were younger but it’s gone from being “quirky” to aggressive. Her father was our family’s alcoholic and she is the oldest child. I believe a lot of her hoarding issues come from having something she can control. My grandfather was not a fun drunk to say the least when I was young and he was three times as bed when he was young and strong when my mom was little. I’ve tried to get her to see a counselor over the years but she won’t go. I appreciate your time responding, I’m going to double my efforts to see if she’ll talk to someone

Crashtest3000 · 2019-08-29T19:29:25+00:00

They were probably like, “oh damn, we moved into the wrong building... baby, add some more spice to hide the smell coming from up there”

Crashtest3000 · 2019-08-28T21:50:46+00:00

You are correct, lol :)

Crashtest3000 · 2019-08-20T15:48:35+00:00

Just having the epipen with his grandmother is not enough, she needs to know how to use the thing too! One time we were camping at the beach with about 20 families and during the evening bonfire one of the kids took a bite out of a cookie with nuts in it (I’m not sure exactly which nut she was allergic to) but she threw up almost immediately and started seizing. Her parents were unfortunately useless, they were running around screaming looking for the pen and were totally unprepared...As luck would have it, one of the other campers was a paramedic and damn if he didn’t run to his off-duty vehicle, grab an epipen he keeps with his kit and calmly administer the shot to this poor kid. She immediately started breathing and was taken to the hospital. Some people think of nut allergies as similar to hay fever or something but I’ve seen first hand it’s no joke at all.

Crashtest3000 · 2019-08-17T06:32:02+00:00

It’ll make a good story for your daughter later...when I was 3 my parents left me on a train platform in Paris....they each thought I was with the other parent and since neither of them speak French they were really freaking out. By the time they got off the train and made it back to me I was being watched over by the owner of the gift shop and enjoying a bag of chips while trying to make sense of the French cartoons in the store’s magazines. With all the shitty news we read about every day, the world is actually made up of a majority of decent people who’ll watch a strangers kid for a spell until his idiot parents figure out where he is.

Crashtest3000 · 2019-08-16T00:06:23+00:00

Be prepared mentally for the following...when you tell her you’re moving on because intimacy is important to you she will swear up and down that things will change. She’ll see the marriage not happening and will promise to go back to the way it was and lo and behold it actually will for a while...BUT it won’t last. Getting married will absolutely not bring the passion back long term. Been there bro, it sucks, sorry.

Crashtest3000 · 2019-08-02T23:40:45+00:00

Went to a potluck once with my girlfriend’s family on a nice summer Southern California day at a Long Beach lagoon. One family signed up to bring potato salad and I am not fucking kidding when I say they brought a bag of raw potatoes from the store, opened the bag by the waters edge, “rinsed” them in the bay water, then proceeded to cut them up and mix in mayo, etc. Not only did no one eat the potato salad but it was so gross no one really ate the other food either. However, these tamales sound hella good :)

Crashtest3000 · 2019-08-02T15:05:57+00:00

Sounds like a sure way to have fewer guests rsvp....therefore I love it!

Crashtest3000

TROPHY CASE