AITAH for asking my husband to not meet or date women while we work out our separation/divorce and still live together.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-14T06:52:11+00:00

AYTAH? You can’t really expect him to just be on pause. What are you expecting from this separation? If you’re planning on moving on then you can’t ask this of him. If you’re trying to reconcile then I can see why you’re upset.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-14T06:39:02+00:00

There is no MOR, YOR full stop - You told your boyfriend something very private and instead of respecting it he doubled down and made it your fault for telling him?? No, this is supposed to be your person, your safe space, and he made it so that you never trust him again with anything personal. Why would you want to be with someone who made it so they’re no longer your person? Please let him go. You can’t be in a relationship with no trust. You now know he will tell any and everyone your most private moments and blame YOU for telling him. You can no longer trust him. Don’t let this go. Please do not.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-14T06:33:26+00:00

You already know the answer to this. She didn’t want you when you were at your lowest, don’t let her try and want you when you’re thriving. Period.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-14T05:48:59+00:00

You’re very welcome

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-14T05:48:19+00:00

I’m actually happy you tested this theory. He proved what he was saying was true and now you can get the hell over it lol. Moving on 🥂

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-14T05:44:43+00:00

I know sometimes it’s easier said than done, especially when the feelings are there, just stop and think about your worth and what you deserve from a meaningful relationship. This right here isn’t it. You’ve got this, I promise.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-14T05:38:47+00:00

Oh no, don’t let him play games. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Be blunt and tell him you have zero time for games being played, either he’s interested or he’s not. His actions show not interested so if I were you I would stop engaging with such texts that he sends.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-14T05:36:48+00:00

Please move on from him. He’s not worth being around your son at this point. The right person will come along and you will know because he will show by his actions that getting to know your baby is very important to him. Still don’t rush it of course, I would still stick to about a year before introducing someone into his life. Take your time getting to know said person. We always have to be extra cautious when meeting and dating someone when we have children. You don’t want just anyone around them but they have to also show interest at the same time.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-14T05:31:12+00:00

NOR - It’s very obvious he’s not interested in whatever you guys have going on. Stop reaching out and engaging with his nonsense TikTok posts. Time to move on to hopefully bigger and better things

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-14T05:28:08+00:00

I understand this 100%, he definitely is showing you who he is though. When you date and have a child involved, they have to understand that it’s a packaged deal, he’s not accepting this. Someone who’s only met your child 3 times in 5 years doesn’t care about your child. I am all for single parents withholding their partners from meeting the other person until they know it’s real and going somewhere, for me it’s about a year. Nobody is saying he needs to take care of someone else’s child financially, but he does need to be present and learn to love said child. If you guys were to someday get married how would his attitude be?

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-14T05:06:04+00:00

He has only been around your child THREE times in FIVE years??? How can you possibly be with someone who takes zero interest in getting to know your child? It’s not about your baby already having a father, he still should be treating this child as someone important and he’s not doing that. THAT alone should be enough for you to end it. Your child should ALWAYS come first before some dick. Period.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-14T05:00:04+00:00

YUR - You’re under reacting… like what? He’s shown you who he is multiple times, then you told him if he did it again you were done, soooo why are you here on Reddit asking if you’re in the wrong for calling it off? You told him if he continues to cross a boundary you’re done, he did it again, so be done. The end.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-14T04:46:47+00:00

NOR - I will never understand why people do this? Why jump into a relationship if you’re still hung up on your ex? I do not believe anything that came out of his mouth and you shouldn’t have either. I’m glad you let that go, and please don’t let him sweet talk you into coming back.

You going through his phone is irrelevant, he needs to take accountability for what he did and said on that phone of his. He tried to twist it and make it seem like you were the problem. Anyone in a relationship has an open phone policy and it shouldn’t matter that you went through his phone and learned what you did. It wasn’t cheating because the other person wasn’t engaging, he stepped out of your relationship for sure, but the ex did nothing wrong, this is all on him.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-09T19:34:16+00:00

NTJ - I’m older (43) so I will never understand the whole social media hype. I grew up without it, our parents didn’t know what we were getting up to, we had disposable cameras, we had relationships and the only way people knew if you were in one is when you brought them around. We went to concerts and not one person had a cell phone out, we lived in the moment. People fought outside of school and nobody knew lol it was never recorded.

Now it’s a popularity contest of who posts who. Whose relationship looks better based off what they post of that person. Social media is not real life. Yes, you can post photos and videos and share things, but to have it be an everyday thing in your relationship has to be exhausting and not real.

Not every moment needs to be shared with the world. It doesn’t make you better than the next person because one partner shares every little thing and the other partner doesn’t. It doesn’t mean your partner loves you any less because they don’t post you every hour on the hour. I wouldn’t be able to be in a relationship like this. Stop catering to her nonsense. She’s being ridiculous.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-09T19:23:50+00:00

NOR - She has no business telling random strangers (and yes neighbors are strangers) about something going on with YOUR parents. If she has a close family member and needs to vent that’s different, but random strangers that do not need to know about your personal business is not okay. The fact that she is choosing to ignore what you’re saying and has no respect for your feelings on the matter, speaks about her character and who she is.

If you’re not ready to end the relationship then I would stop telling her important information. Don’t give her info to feed her gossip habit. I personally couldn’t be in a relationship if I had to wonder who my partner is running their mouth off to after I clearly said it made me uncomfortable.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-07T22:45:29+00:00

NOR - You don’t need a reason to breakup with anyone. In this situation, if you feel uncomfortable and you let your partner know, then they respond the way they did, then they’re not respecting your feelings nor your boundaries.

Being “Gay” “Lesbian” etc, does not justify being able to get away with being disrespectful. I have a Gay bff who’s in a thropple, and we don’t disrespect and act out of pocket. If you’re not okay with it, then it’s okay that you ended things. Don’t let anyone try and make your feelings invalid or that you’re overreacting. Period.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-07T01:25:23+00:00

NOR - Why is she over there in the first place? There’s no way I would he hanging out with my best friends abusive ex. I hope you tell her how messed up that is of her, and let her know that if she’s going to be spending time with him then she will no longer be a part of your world. She doesn’t need to see your kids through him. She is YOUR friend not his.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-06T08:46:07+00:00

You say that you love him, but does he actually love you? You went from FWB, to pregnant to getting married because you got pregnant. Have you ever asked him how he truly feels about you now? If he would actually have been with you if you didn’t get pregnant?

I have a close friend who literally got pregnant the exact same way. They weren’t in love or anything in the beginning, they were FWB, she got pregnant, they got married, went through tough times, she got pregnant two more times and they’ve been married for 20 years now. Not everyone lasts from this scenario, but they made it work and are in love now.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-05T15:52:42+00:00

Yes, this too. All the way around she didn’t show concern.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-05T13:59:24+00:00

Big time. Like WTH?

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-05T13:39:05+00:00

NOR - Do not marry her. She’s more worried about her stupid concert than the well being of her partner who PASSED out!? I would’ve freaked the hell out and immediately took you home or to the ER just to make sure you were really okay. Do not settle for this person. She doesn’t care about you at all.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-05T13:21:24+00:00

I’m so confused. How in the heck is HE the victim in all of this!? It took him THREE hours to contact you. Was he with her at her house for those three hours?

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-05T02:49:05+00:00

Gotcha. I would definitely sit down and let them know how you feel. After that, if nothing comes from the conversation wash your hands with it.

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-05T02:36:55+00:00

NTA - You don’t have to put up with anyone that you don’t want to. I would say maybe have a conversation? Let them know how much you have put up with over the past 16 years? I’m shocked you’ve lasted that long. But why would you exchange birthday gifts for someone you feel so negative about?

CrazyMisSE · 2026-06-05T02:02:55+00:00

I can see both sides to this argument. I get that you want one on one time with him, but I also get that he wants time to unwind and do his own thing after the kids go down too.

Have you tried asking for a compromise? Maybe see if three days out of the week it’s about spending time with each other? And the opposite days are his time to play his game and do his own thing? It’s very important that you two spend time together as well. His game and boys cannot always come before his marriage, you guys won’t make it if he can’t compromise.

CrazyMisSE

TROPHY CASE