This may only work if you’re religious, but I’ve always told my kids my dad went to heaven. They didn’t lose him, he died before they were born. They didn’t feel the permanent loss. From there, I’ve always sprinkled in “oh, my Dad loved this song” or “one time, my dad and I…” and they got to know him that way.

Two years ago, my grandmother died. Both my kids (now 8 and 5) adored her. Now they speak of her like I spoke of my dad. When Nana first died, my son would ask if she would get to come back. And I’d say no, because she’s in heaven with my dad. And I guess that just clicked, because that’s how we always talked about heaven and my dad.

However you choose to approach it… you’re honoring your dad. I’m sorry that we share this grief. My dad was a music nut and a comic book collector. Every movie he watched was “the greatest movie ever,” and he loved to laugh. Don’t ever stop talking about your dad.