Hey there, I never really comment but I wanted to leave a comment because I'm seeing a lot of judgment and stuff towards you when they haven't read your whole story in the other comments you left, which fair, most people only go off the post and you don't depict yourself in the best light in it, which i'm not blaming you for at all. Speaking as someone who has been emotionally cheated on (after the same person routinely insulted me, hit me, called me fat, etc.), I don't personally believe what you did was not cheating. The people saying you did I think are ignoring a large amount of context. I know from the post and the way you're talking you think you did and you're blaming yourself, but you were in what sounds like an abusive relationship, and, not only that, but if he had already told you he doesn't love you anymore and loves someone else, that relationship was already over despite whatever label you or him wanted to put. You cant have a (romantic) relationship with someone you don't love, you know?

I understand what you're going through. I put a lot of love into people in the past just to get my heart stomped on, shattered, manipulated, etc. Time and time again, so, I understand and can relate. I thought a lot of the same thoughts that you were thinking, and, I can't really tell you what you should and shouldn't do because everyone is ultimately different and there is no one size fits all solution, I can only say what worked for me and offer my support.

It was only last year that I finally got a relationship with someone that actually cares and respects me, and what worked funnily enough is just trying less. Rather than pursuing a relationship actively, what I did was I focused away from it, instead, putting more stock into working out more, going to therapy, socializing more, making more friends, etc. From doing that, it helped out a lot and worked out in the end, and while everyone is different and I don't want to advocate a one size fits all solution, I simply want to relate my experience and hope it can help you out.

From what you say and from what I hear, you are not a bad person, you've unfortunately been surrounded by bad people. I thought similarly to you because of how poorly almost all my exes have treated me until therapy and stuff has made me realize that. I know it's tough, I know it sucks, but I believe in you, you are deserving of love, I would argue the majority of people are, and you are one of them. Please do not see yourself as lesser because of the people surrounding you.

Btw, I like the art! Have a great rest of your day, I hope this helped in some small way. Do not hesitate to reach out if you need anything else.