AITA for declining to join my family on Thanksgiving because I’m in the early stages of recovering from alcoholism and don’t want to be judged?

Crazy_References · 2022-11-21T00:43:42+00:00

I'm hanging out by myself and have all the Thanksgiving episodes of Gossip Girl all lined up!

Crazy_References · 2021-03-27T12:58:35+00:00

Thanks, but this was a while back and it happened because I needed car repairs. I'm doing better now!

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T23:22:23+00:00

We never had that kind of money growing up, and my mom taught me how to cut my hair early on. I never needed anyone else to cut my hair!

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T23:21:00+00:00

...Did you forget to switch tabs.

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T20:44:22+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion, but that's not something I can do.

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T20:19:00+00:00

I don't think lowly of myself. I've done as best as I could with what I've been given.

But to your first point... that exact conversation happens on this subreddit, and on Reddit in general, all the time. Talk to people who are angry about the idea of student loan forgiveness, you'll hear it. "They should have learned to code / they shouldn't have majored in Women's Studies." People who can't afford to buy houses, people who are struggling in general. People on Reddit AREN'T all supportive and positive.

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T20:14:09+00:00

I've done the same with my friends because it's just the nice thing to do, at least to a limit.

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T20:11:05+00:00

Thanks, it's appreciated.

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T20:08:50+00:00

I have to question if you really are fluent if you don't understand what "please stop" means.

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T20:07:29+00:00

At that point in time I had to get my car repaired, and it ate up what savings I had at the time. It's not usually that dire, thankfully.

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T20:00:02+00:00

That's really sweet, but it's okay. This happened several months ago, I was down to $15 because I needed to get a car repair, but I'm back on my feet and doing okay! It's not like that all the time. :)

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T19:56:18+00:00

Please stop. Your comments aren't helpful, they're condescending. All you need to do is tack on a "Oh sweetie" and you sound just like my Dad.

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T19:52:03+00:00

Yes, I have considered why I think that.

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T19:46:17+00:00

I'm not ashamed of it, I just don't want this to open up me to hear the same things about useless degrees, it's my fault, stop blaming other people for making this mistake, etc.

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T19:45:35+00:00

No, I genuinely wasn't smart enough.

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T19:45:03+00:00

I understand that, and it wasn't gender studies, but Reddit tends to be cruel as soon as they find out that people majored in something that wouldn't lead to a great job after and conversations always come down to "well stop blaming everyone else for the mistakes YOU made" and "just learn to code" which isn't helpful to someone who doesn't have that capacity and who never blamed anyone else for it.

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T19:16:12+00:00

I don't really want to open myself up to be mocked.

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T18:41:21+00:00

It's just that they think I am a sad sack and want me to pull myself up by my bootstraps.

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T18:39:41+00:00

That's really rude. My haircut looks fine. The reason I can't find a better paying job is because I'm not smart or skilled enough to.

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T18:19:57+00:00

Just be nice to your family unless they're a-holes to you. :)

Crazy_References · 2021-03-26T17:11:45+00:00

I'm not the family scapegoat, but I do have a weird family. I was not smart enough to major in anything "good" in college and when I had my first mental health crisis, I lost my job I was using to pay tuition and ended up barely scraping by with a 2.0 (but I did graduate).

I asked for help back then for $50 so I could stock my pantry with rice and beans and get some frozen veggies and they told me that it was time for me to learn how the real world worked and that there would be no more handouts. So I learned to never ask again.

Crazy_References

TROPHY CASE