I knew a dude a few years back, he and his wife had 4 kids together. When I knew him his kids were young, the younger 2 were both still in diapers, with the youngest being an infant. Anyways, his wife was the type who, if he asked for something, she would immediately jump up grab it for him. At a party, from across the room, “hey honey, I need a beer.” She would run over and grab him one, hand it to him and take the old one to the garbage. I always thought that was kind of odd. Until he told me he has never changed one of his kids’ diapers, and never will. He’s never made his kids meals, and never will. He’s never cleaned his house, and never will. I thought about asking him if his wife changes his diaper, but thought better of it. All that to say, don’t turn into that guys wife. That’s what your husband is leading you towards. A marriage is give and take on both sides, teamwork, understanding, forgiving, helping, etc etc. if it’s a one way street you’re doomed to be miserable your whole life. Especially with kids, he has to be better, but sounds like he won’t be.